Things you've learned from this site

[Tueresmuyguapo]

According to recent threads:

Everyone over the age of about 35 looks way younger, constantly mistaken for younger, doesn't have a line on their face yet despite never using suncream, and their nan only used bin juice on their face and smoked 80 fags a day but had beautiful skin at 103 years old.

Everyone had sex with their complete stranger dp within about 4 seconds of meeting them for the first time, their dp moved in that night and never left and they're coming up to 762 years of happy marriage now.

Everybody on here seems to earn 200k in some mysterious job that doesn't seem to exist, they can't quite explain what they do, but they worked their asses off to get to this level of seniority which involves them working 3 hours a week for 2 weeks a year.

Interested to hear any more.

Or dementia

that was in response to “75% of the population has ADHD” but I failed at quoting!

That no healthy nt school child aged between eight and sixteen should ever be made to stand up for a frail, elderly lady on a bus, in case it traumatises them for life.

That the vast majority of comfortable, well educated, well travelled, middle class young adults have been traumatised by their parents in some way or another, and have to “heal” in order to reclaim their inner child.

That many mumsnetters are extremely ‘unlucky’ with their experience of dogs. Dogs they see are always pissing on their belongings or stealing their picnics or their ice cream out of their hands. I’ve never known anything like it. Some posters have multiple incidents like this each day. 🤔

Oh @Spencer0220 youre in for a TREAT.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/mumsnet_classics/1875847-Do-you-dunk-your-penis

You are welcome.

If you go out to your Christmas do & have more than half a glass of wine, then you are a problem drinker. If your husband/ partner goes to his, has more than 2 beers, doesn't check in with you every 10 minutes, and isn't home by 8.30pm. You should immediately change the locks, file for divorce, and blame his behavior on his mother.

Some of these posters are nasty as hell.

@Momtotwokids this is a light-hearted, ironic thread.

Don’t forget « getting your ducks in a row »

Give your head a wobble!

That most people on mumsnet have no idea what gentle parenting entails.

You are allowed to skinny shame

Everyone's child is ND

Any man remotely acknowledging you or being with 2m of a child is a pervert

Everyone earns huge amounts

Swearing is part of the dictionary - I'm confident no other vocabulary exists

That adolescence is supposed to last until thirty.

That only one in twenty people eat leftovers.

And that the average person’s weekly meal plan apparently resembles an Ottelenghi recipe book.

Yeah but it’s ok because they are just “telling it how it is” .

A man who is in regular contact is love bombing, a man who isn't is cheating.

If a man has any contact whatsoever with a female colleague he's sleeping with her.

If in doubt, you should always LTB, even over trivial matters.

MILs are always wrong.

Everyone's husband has a very stressful job and a very unique hobbie.

Massive salad & naice ham - good
Ensuites & toilet brushes - bad

Parking disputes can only be solved if there's a diagram.

Women with no children - bad
Women with too many children - bad

If you are a SAHM - how are you dependent on a man?
If you are a working mum - why did you even have children, you are neglecting them?

Interested in your kids behaviour- obsessed and overbearing
Allowing your kids independence - negligent and irresponsible

Hang on. Haaaaaang on. I didn't know this. Off to Google I go.....

That people are intolerant to lots of what I would class as normal life things. Kids playing, Christmas lights, TVs, runners, dogs, cats, neighbours, people talking on phones, certain cars. They must be stressed every time they leave the house. IRL, most people don’t seem to care about any of it.

These are great!
Another one I forgot is that if you expect your friends to so much as breathe in your presence more than once every 8 years, and reply to any sort of text you send then you're a needy and clingy friend.

If your wedding celebrations cost less than 20 quid then obviously your marriage is doomed to fail as all you were interested in was a “showy” wedding.

People heave and retch at the smell of a Maccy Ds.

A trip to a barely interested and massively over worked gp will solve all mental and physical and social issues.

If you're a single parent, you should only ever have secret dates until your child is around 35 years old otherwise they will be traumatised for life.

If you're strapped for cash- just take in some ironing.

You don’t have a robotic vacuum? Whaaat?

Everyone's teen has been working from 14.

Teen girls are obsessed with bum bum cream

Martin Lewis is God

Tories will be hung and quartered

Everything is brexits fault

Air fryers are the only way to cook