Things you've learned from this site

[Tueresmuyguapo]

According to recent threads:

Everyone over the age of about 35 looks way younger, constantly mistaken for younger, doesn't have a line on their face yet despite never using suncream, and their nan only used bin juice on their face and smoked 80 fags a day but had beautiful skin at 103 years old.

Everyone had sex with their complete stranger dp within about 4 seconds of meeting them for the first time, their dp moved in that night and never left and they're coming up to 762 years of happy marriage now.

Everybody on here seems to earn 200k in some mysterious job that doesn't seem to exist, they can't quite explain what they do, but they worked their asses off to get to this level of seniority which involves them working 3 hours a week for 2 weeks a year.

Interested to hear any more.

You shouldn’t announce your engagement within 5 years of a close friend or family member getting married, engaged or giving birth.

If you do, you’re an attention seeker, and no one cares about your engagement anyway.

@bonzaitree I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe. Not even going to try and explain to DH.

@clementyne

Everyone women over 45 who is a bit angry or a bit forgetful is either peri menopausal or has early onset dementia.

And she must go on HRT now or her bones will all crumble and she will die.

Also, she must get Botox and some cheeky filler, as everyone's face collapses at 45 and there is no hope - luckily Beryl at the local salon is better at doing injectables than whoever is doing Madge's and all the other famous millionaire women's, and nobody can tell they've had it done!

That Brunei is in Borneo. Blew my mind.

All dogs are always off the lead , badly behaved and taking over every shop and coffee place everywhere
The velvetiser is a must have machine , no other way of making hot chocolate is acceptable
A real big salad is never acceptable unless it's the MN version of half a lettuce leaf half a tomatoe etc
Everyone has a cleaner ( except me )
Single women must really not be happy without a man ( trust me
I am )
Everyone is having Botox

Any neighbour problems whatsoever - just move house. Just like that!

Any 'What's your favourite (insert food item)' thread brings out all the raging food snobs with their exotic/expensive brands.

It's necessary to mention that the handsome, and rich successful husband's are 6' 2" and hollow-legged son's are 6'3", even when irrelevant to the topic. It is also necessary that posters mention they themselves are 5"'4' (maximum) their bra size is 24HH.

On a more serious note, sadly, I lhave learnt that a huge amount of women have disordered eating. Shown up as bizarre and inaccurate believes about food, which they think are normal, correct and healthy.

People are "astounded" that other people are upset about things that mean something to them.

They can't be arsed tbh 😁

Lol 💯

If some of the threads on here hold any credence, I'm amazed at how gullible (combined with people-pleasing) many people are.

I'm all for giving people a hand if they need it, but there are many and varied threads where the OP hasn't learned that saying no to an outlandish aka CF demand request is not a crime, and they end up being exploited and stitched up for their kindness.

Sometimes being generous is mistaken for weakness.

Anyone who eats a normal amount of food a day is apparently a competitive under eater and if you're less than a size 12 you're clearly starving yourself🙄

🤣🤣

If in doubt, you should always LTB, even over trivial matters

judging by the 'Princes' utter waste of space Neanderthals described in Relationships I'd say that's pretty sound advice.

• If a woman’s sex drive has decreased, this MUST mean that the man is to blame. Clearly, the husband is a lazy arse spectator in the home, who isn’t making enough effort. Despite the man explaining how they contribute to chores etc, MN decides beforehand, that the man sits idle all day. BUT, if a man’s sex drive has decreased,, the man is still to blame. He is either cheating, or not making enough effort, and the woman must leave.
• Everyone has a cleaner
• Everyone owns a dishwasher
• That anyone who, sadly, has a miscarriage is suddenly allowed to behave rudely and nastily to pregnant family/friends, and this must be accepted and tolerated at all costs, even if it lasts for decades. Then, when the woman eventually becomes pregnant herself, all this must be forgotten, and her news must be celebrated by the everyone else.
• Every husband has a hobby, which must never be revealed.
• How many women organises childrens’ parties inviting the entire reception class, 17 times a month.

Everyone is either ND or has ADHD
Dogs are the spawn of satan and there is not one square meter of the country that is free from the scourge of them, particularly because every child has a “phobia” of dogs.
No matter what the issue, it’s abuse and you should LTB. He didn’t put his teaspoon in the dishwasher?? Leave, immediately.
Anyone who spends more than 35p on anything, ever, should “check their privilege”
Anyone with more money than you is privileged, lucky, or a drug dealer/gun runner/lottery winner/pimp. And you must find out which but are entitled to feel pissed off about it either way. And go NC with them
A small chicken feeds 437 people for 8 meals
People no longer have dinner parties
How many fucking men apparently can not carry the “mental load”
How the last 50 million generations had it soooooo much easier ( written by every generation, ever)
Single parents (only women obviously) are supposed to be single until they are 136 at least - selfish if not
Women who stay after infidelity are “weak” and “doormats”. Men who stay after infidelity are “brave” and “generous”
People who own second homes are going to hell, immediately.
Anyone who earns over £100k is lying or got the job through nepotism and went to a top 10 public school

Yes, and you most certainly can't invite anyone to move in until the youngest child is married.

And people giggling and crunching on cereal or a packet of crisps 🤣

There’s a special Mumsnet chicken that can feed a family of six for a week.

Mumsnet is full of people who don’t read and run.

If you are really worried about a child’s welfare, you mustn’t do anything. If you did, you would be an inferring old bat.

You must always refuse to engage with your Health Visitors, as they know nothing about maternal mental health and childcare.

It’s perfectly normal for a woman to be the higher earner and to take care of everything, including the mental load, whilst DH does nothing much, apart from an outing hobby.

Dogs make your home stink because they have very smelly bottoms.

Those who brave this horror have cockapoos that co-sleep with them as puppies are actually the same as human babies, with a dash of wolf cub.

You should never get a puppy as they all come from puppy farms. Instead you should adopt a greyhound.

Her parents are always lovely, generous and supportive. His parents are interfering and shock horror, want to see their grandchildren. This is never convenient, especially at Christmas.

It’s normal to be having sex again, twice a day, as soon as the baby is out.

Everyone has oral and anal at least once a day.

On the other hand, if you’re a size 14 you are clinically obese.

Your "little family" is more special than anyone else, and should NEVER be expected to get out of their matching Christmas pjs and actually visit anyone on Christmas Day.

That people hate the very possibility of something originating in America, so much so that traditions and words that have always been used in some parts of the country (and were brought to America from here) get routinely dismissed as being 'Americanisms' - when they are not.

If a wife puts on a significant amount of weight her partner must see her as a beautiful goddess or he’s a shallow prick.

If a husband puts on weight he’s a greedy, fat and unattractive bastard.

Yes! When I married my husband an MNer sent me a PM that said 100% of men who aren’t related to a child biologically are peadophiles and are only with a partner with children for that reason. I pointed out that would also include me as our children are adopted, so in her mind we should have been a great match.

The best part however was that this poster was a regular on the dating thread, so I had to assume she had a thing for peadophiles as she’d gone through 5-6 boyfriends between me meeting and marrying my husband. Oddly enough she didn’t agree with the feedback.

All children are top of their class, 6ft tall, eat 12,000 calories but are skin and bone.