Things you've learned from this site

[Tueresmuyguapo]

According to recent threads:

Everyone over the age of about 35 looks way younger, constantly mistaken for younger, doesn't have a line on their face yet despite never using suncream, and their nan only used bin juice on their face and smoked 80 fags a day but had beautiful skin at 103 years old.

Everyone had sex with their complete stranger dp within about 4 seconds of meeting them for the first time, their dp moved in that night and never left and they're coming up to 762 years of happy marriage now.

Everybody on here seems to earn 200k in some mysterious job that doesn't seem to exist, they can't quite explain what they do, but they worked their asses off to get to this level of seniority which involves them working 3 hours a week for 2 weeks a year.

Interested to hear any more.

If DP is 4 minutes late home or has done something slightly wrong you need a divorce asap!!!

There are quite a lot of habitual liars and petty thieves.

That many women are quite happy to marry someone they don't fancy, and barely like, just so they can have some kids and a nice house.

And then put up AIBUs about why DH should be content to be celibate as sex is not a big deal.

People get very, very worked up about splitting the bill.

I got suckered in with the emetophobia thing. First time I ever read it was on here and I thought I must be one as I didn’t like sick and have weak stomach. Then I thought about it and realised this is actually normal for most people.

Everyone has a dishwasher. I don't, I hate them!

Everyone's had the jabs! Not me!

A man only has to wave and say good morning or be helpful and he's a complete bastard.

A large amount of posters hate dogs and teach their children to hate dogs.

A large amount of posters idolise Taylor Swift and Harry Styles, both who are in my opinion truly dreadful people.

There's a lot overweight posters. Some excessively so.

Anything specifically women related such as being pregnant, giving birth and the menopause are all horrific things that make women unbearable suffer.

HRT is blindly taken without any effort to make lifestyle changes first.

Children must not be taught to be independent and must not be left home alone or walk by themselves to school until they are 24.

Promiscuity is encouraged.

I've remembered another one...

Under no circumstances are you allowed give your kids just a bowl of cereal for breakfast because it's bad for them.

The average mumsnetter is 30 years behind with technology.

WhatsApp is suspicious.
AI is suspicious.
New apps are suspicious.
Banking apps aren't to be trusted.

God forbid anyone enjoy using a self service check out.

There is a thread running now about scammers and AI generated voices. The misinformation on that thread is hilarious. Whipping each other into a frenzy about a non event.

The most common sense answers to a thread are in the first five responses and then it’s all downhill from there and the last couple of pages are just two mumsnetters slagging each other off until someone claims the thread has been derailed. OP is nowhere to be found.

That more people are prone to hyperbole than I thought.

No they must have sliced fruit with it.

Every
single
thread

A few things I have never heard anyone speak of outside MN, and has no idea what they were when I came across them:
Big 4
Russell Group Uni
NT Property
Geocaching
Mooncup
No Contact
Grey Rock
Also, I didn't realise how many people seem to live in houses with multiple bedrooms and enormous gardens either "rurally" or "semi rurally"..
Semi Rurally...that's means in the suburbs, right? 😉

But definitely not banana because those are full of sugar so you may as well be lacing the cereal with cyanide 😆

No they must have sliced fruit with it.
Are you MAD! Fruit is FULL OF SUGAR!

The weird desire to be complete wet blankets at Christmas and insist on only getting small stocking staffers for their children while anything bigger comes from them, so Santa Claus (correction: "Father Christmas", cos Santa Claus is forrin) doesn't get all the credit and they are suitably thanked by the children. Why not get them to thank you for the monthly gas and electricity payments, and the mortgage too, while you're at it?

The strange, heartfelt belief in the supernatural powers of school uniforms.

• ’Screens’ are the work of the Devil and only negligent monsters let their children near them. All ‘screens’ are the same; there is literally no difference between them or what you use them for.
• Carrot sticks and hummus are the only appropriate snack for a child. Fruit has too much sugar in it.
• Everyone hates dogs, and/or have children who are scared of them.
• Nobody actually seems to like their friends very much but inexplicably continues to socialise with them.
• If a woman stops wanting sex, her husband has to live with it and is a perverted monster for suggesting it would be good to have a shag now and again and a shallow bastard if he decides to leave. If a man stops wanting it, however, he is selfish and it’s OK to leave him because it’s not fair to deny his wife a full marriage.

Everyone has clothes from the 1980s in their wardrobe, proving vanity sizing has gorn mad.

Hardly anyone's ex pays maintenance, yet everyone seems to live with a DP who pays more than the requested maintenance to their exes.

No-one can be naturally slim especially after having DC. They have to be starving themselves and living a miserable life.

There's no such thing as a bad mother and if you happen across a woman screaming 'little bastard' at their kid, it's just a tiny snapshot of their life and you shouldn't judge.

If you happen across a dad doing the same thing, you should ring the NSPCC now as he's obviously abusive.

The reason why so many kids are brats these days is because of the amount of gentle parenting going on.

Threads are started where the kids need a good telling off and instead it's encouraged to talk about feelings and go softly softly.

Sometimes, when it's appropriate, you can actually punish your child. It will save them from being put in their place at school by other kids who won't take their shit and eventually help them build their resilience when things get tough.

Agree with the above.

If your child punches you in the face, you have to calmly tell them it's okay and cuddle them because they've had a 'bad' day.

Yikes

LTB

In seriousness, a lot about abusive relationships.

We all mysteriously have the same writing style.

Some people just genuinely aren’t that nice.

I learned that we should all aspire to own a Hotel Chocolat Velvetiser. The Christmas threads are wonderful but the awe and wonder of this machine is intriguing.

That loads of posters have fuck all better to do than look down on someone else.