To be so irritated by women who have perfectly healthy pregnancies behaving like ...

[jellystitch]

They're dying of a disease or
They're the first woman in the world to have a baby it they think that their labour, delivery and expectant child is going to be hugely complicated despite having absolutely nothing medical reason to think as such? Perfectly healthy expectant young mums.
Maybe I'm just unlucky to be working with many of these...
It's not anxiety related. It's like an attention seeking thing.

You sound like a peach. 🍑

I was 34 with my first pregnancy so not a young girl and I spent the whole 9 months checking for blood every time I had a wee, worrying about every twinge, stressing about potential c sections and epidurals. Worry is part of pregnancy, if you didn't worry then I'd say you were in a minority

YABU pregnancy is hard, uncomfortable and generally unpleasant

I get where you're coming from, OP.

I've met a few pregzillas over the years and they are utterly tiresome.

Most expectant mums are anxious, 'Twas ever thus, but there are a few who use their pregnancy to get out of absolutely everything and anything or to just elicit attention.

Do you have a narcissistic nature OP? Are you miffed when other people express opinions and you realise their world doesn’t revolve around you? It’s perfectly natural for first time mothers to be both anxious and to want to talk about their pregnancy/impending birth etc. Just concentrate on your own life/problems/joys and leave them be, please 👍🏻

To be honest, I would rather be prepared for the worst and know the facts if something were to happen, rather than planning/requesting a water birth and the midwife being all smiley and going along with my plans when my birth was nothing short of a a horror show.

I'll admit it, I had a very easy pregnancy at 25 - so I was young mum. No morning sickness, no weird cravings, no pain - nothing. I had a neat bump, didn't put on a lot of weight and sailed through. My labour turned out to be a proper crash emergency C-Section, to the point of they had to put me under. I nearly died and so did my little one. I spent 5 days in hospital, received zero support from anyone and couldn't even breastfeed. There was no information about anything. I still have trauma from that birth and what happened hit me like a fucking train.

So, Yes, YABU - be better!

What a very unkind, unhelpful and judgmental post OP. You sound smug and your post is full of disdain, so much so you felt the need to start a post about how your mindset and health is superior to others.

Surely you know every single woman is different physiologically and psychologically with different circumstances and needs. Pregnancy can be fraught with complications, the anxiety can come from wanting to do the right thing for the baby and worry about what the labour is going to be like, especially for a first time mum.

It's a dangerous time, it puts tremendous strain on the body. Outcomes are not always happy. I'm spelling it out in simple language because it seems you lack the understanding and empathy of a fellow mother. Shame on you, you sound nasty.

I'm saying this as someone who has had 2 relatively straightforward pregnancies and births [and one loss]. I was fine. That doesn't mean I can't understand that some people are anxious, tense and have particular health worries that I don't. If mums to be want attention, then why not, it's ok to want others to be there for them and support them as they prepare for one of the greatest events a woman has in her lifetime.

I think you are being horribly judgmental. Pregnancy is a huge deal, it’s physical and mental effects shouldn’t be downplayed.

No one knew that I was anxious during my second pregnancy. Even I didn’t think I was particularly anxious.

But, given that I wrote multiple letters to my DH, son and new baby apologising for dying in labour, read about the probability of miscarriages daily, and woke up in cold sweat every night thinking that something had happened to my baby, I think I was probably anxious. You’d have never known it watching me run around after my toddler or laugh with my friends though.

The OP won’t be back

She’s crawled away.

No doubt to whinge about another group of people. Sadly in front of her four children who will think it’s normal to have a mother bitch like this about people who don’t deserve it

If men gave birth imagine the fuss! You would be knighted and given medals for just getting through it. But because it’s women we all have to devalue it and pretend it’s something and nothing. Sod that..

I think YABU, yes they may be healthy but it is a time.of change for the body and for many it will be the first time they experience these things. Cut them some slack I think.

Don't speak to them then, just keep your distance - it doesn't sound like you are real friends anyway. They probably think that they are sharing their fears and concerns with a genuine friend who might understand, and meanwhile you are bitching behind their backs and judging.

definitely know the type, very precious and think them being pregnant is exceptional.

Wow, nice

Yes - a definite lack of empathy! Every pregnancy is exceptional (for that person!).

What could be more important than making sure that the child you are carrying is safe and taken care of? It is a very difficult period, each pregnancy is different and for nine months your body doesn’t feel normal. It is very scary. You are told to eat healthy yet can’t keep anything down, to exercise but all you want to do is sleep. All this pressure to be doing ‘your best’ and yet it is very hard for some, so this leads to feeling like a failed mother before you even see the child. It is very stressful!!

I am on my fifth pregnancy and I am scared as hell. Being older, more risk and more pressure.

Don’t judge people for how they are feeling, being pregnant is stressful enough as it is.

But when you have your first baby you do kind of feel you're the first woman in the world to have one. Obviously you know that isn't true but the whole experience is new and it is really common to be over anxious or to feel you're kind of special in some way. I'm sure many others would agree that with their first they read all the books/magazines and followed them to the letter. Then when their second came along it was a whole different story. I can remember rocking up to the doctor's, massively excited, having just got a positive pregnancy test with my first and I couldn't believe how underwhelmed the doctor seemed to be. I think I was expecting party poppers and a few balloons at the very least😂

But saying someone is over reacting because of anxiety implies that there is no great risk, it's just anxiety, whereas pregnancy and birth pose a massive risk to women no matter how healthy they are or how well the pregnancy appears to be going.

You have put what I was trying to put into words so well.

I hope if you're a midwife, somehow, one of your colleagues or patients who might be reading here recognises it's you and reports you.

You have no idea what's gone before.

My pregnancy was entirely smooth sailing. Easy pregnancy, straightforward (planned c section) birth, simple recovery. Outwardly, I had a really, really easy ride.

What the majority of people I work with didn't know was that I had previously lost a baby late in the second trimester, had a traumatic birth, haemorrhaged, required emergency surgery afterwards and then contracted sepsis - which also nearly killed me.

I was in therapy throughout the duration of my second pregnancy I was that petrified.

So yes, you are being highly unfair unless you have an entire medical history of the individual and anyone close to them.

I was to fall pregnant now, I would worry the whole way through even with a healthy pregnancy.

Just because things are going well, doesn’t mean it will definitely continue to go well. And if a woman suffers with anxiety, this will whizz through her mind many many times throughout her pregnancy.

Basically if a woman has a healthy pregnancy, she should never worry or moan about anything because it might offend or insult women who are high risk. Is that pretty much what you’re saying? I find that viewpoint really weird. We’re all entitled to worry about our babies and worry about ourselves no matter what kind of pregnancy we have.

Op, I was one of those women you talked about, no issues until 29 weeks. Now I'm a mother of twin angel babies because it did go wrong.

Pregnancy is a risky thing.

You have no idea what you are talking about.

I had a perfectly healthy pregnancy in terms of the baby being fine , I also spent months sick in bed or stuck on the bathroom floor with severe pregnancy sickness. Later in my healthy pregnancy I would regularly be in tears with the pain from heartburn.

You don't know everything about people's situations. No one at work knew that I'd been trying for my baby for years, been through operations, done loads of things to get pregnant, including special diets, reflexology extra vitamins, accupuncture. So it was extra precarious for me. Especially when I had a bleed several months in. I didn't tell anyone about that either. But if anything had gone wrong I thought it might have been my very last chance to have a family. Being an older mother I was also worried about genetic conditions.

People at work probably thought I sailed through my pregnancy too.

YABVVVU.

And you know they’re not anxious, how?
I’m not an anxious person but during my second pregnancy I was convinced I was going to die. It hung over me and I obsessed over all these highly improbable things that might kill me. None of them happened though I did have a complicated post-birth period.

Even if it is ‘for attention’ what’s wrong with wanting some attention?

if you find them irritating just don’t engage with it.

This thread is nearly 5 months old fyi