To be so irritated by women who have perfectly healthy pregnancies behaving like ...

[jellystitch]

They're dying of a disease or
They're the first woman in the world to have a baby it they think that their labour, delivery and expectant child is going to be hugely complicated despite having absolutely nothing medical reason to think as such? Perfectly healthy expectant young mums.
Maybe I'm just unlucky to be working with many of these...
It's not anxiety related. It's like an attention seeking thing.

YAB wildly U
I suffered all kinds of awful complications and nearly died. But I still think pregnancy is a big strain on the body so even a “healthy” pregnancy can be exhausting and worrying.

Maybe the people around you would say differently……

I had a gut feeling I’d have a c/s - and I did - an emergency one As Labour was not professing due to her lie. I was nearly 42 weeks as well so had been induced. It was a horrible experience and I still remember it so clearly 22 years later.
it wasn’t a particularly nice pregnancy either - no appetite/sickness until about14 weeks, then from about 30 weeks I had some awful throat infection- even my GP was sympathetic. Can’t remember how much I moaned, but I was freelancing so wasn’t in an office all day anyway. I’m sure I was still doing regular things, but felt pretty rough most of the time bar the middle 15 weeks! Oh, and dd had a minor medical issue which they saw in utero so had to have extra scans to monitor it from 20 weeks onwards.
And as for a PP talking about ‘just take hrt’ in the menopause, there may be reasons why someone doesn’t want to and we are all entitled to talk about symptoms of peri-meno. Even taking her doesn’t alleviate every symptom and tbh from what I’ve heard from friends, unless things get really bad, I’ll leave off it as have some issues that could be worse by using it!!

OP what a horrible thread. My pregnancies seemed fine to everybody around me. I still complained about things because I was very uncomfortable. I didnt tell them the real reasons that I nearly died with 2 of my pregnancies. To the outside world I seemed fine, I wonder if they complained about my seemingly fine pregnancies when I complained about being uncomfortable ?

Pregnancy and giving birth is incredibly dangerous. Most of my friends and/or their babies wouldn’t be here if we didn’t live in the time we do. When it came to it, me and my baby would have been touch and go too due to last minute complications. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to feel anxious - particularly with the amount of information we are now privy to and the constant warnings about things throughout pregnancy and newborn stage.
try just being kind and not judging people - it’s truly a nicer way to live!

YBVU.
Every pregnancy is different!

Hmmm I don’t really understand the issue here. I had a high risk, complicated pregnancy and was violently ill until planned c-section at 36 weeks. This made me so much more conscious that I had never understood pregnancy before and could never know exactly what someone was going through unless they told me explicitly.
Unless you are these women’s consultant, it’s none of your business what is going on in their pregnancy or how their children will be delivered. I am so glad I don’t work with you!

I hope to god you're not a midwife

I’m not sure if this is a troll post, however in case it isn’t.. YABVU!!

How do you know whether your colleagues are having low risk pregnancies? Are you also their MW / consultant?

For what it’s worth, I imagine that if I’d been one of your colleagues during my 2nd pregnancy, then you’d have decided that I was also an ‘attention seeking’ ‘young’ ‘healthy’ 1st time mum. However the reality is that my 1st was unexpectedly stillborn a few years previously. With the exception of my manager, none of my colleagues knew this. Given that approximately 1 in 4 pregnancies do end in stillbirth, miscarriage or TFMR, I imagine that a fair few of you ‘annoying’ colleagues have very real reasons for their concern. Even if they don't have an official medical reason, why not show some compassion? Some people do find pregnancy more worrying then others, really don’t see how this can annoy you so much.

YABU!!!! You sound like a horrible person

Women eh? Damned if we do and damned if we don’t.

Should all be in the fields working, pop the baby out, cut the umbilical cord with the scythe and get back to work.

id hate to be your daughter or daughter in law.

YANBU - I know what you mean. Every little thing has to be about them, they feel like the longest pregnancies in history.

The people with real problems dont really want to talk about it as it is so difficult for them and they want to privately put their own physical and mental health before spouting off to all and sundry.

OP the culture around pregame labour is to dial up the risk.

all you hear are horror stories and warnings of what can go wrong.

There are frequent posts in here suggesting those that opt for home
births are selfish for taking the ‘risk’

medics often do this too, to manipulate mothers into accepting interventions

so it’s hardly surprising mothers take that on.

there are two things going on:

first it IS a process with some risk and where things can go wrong seemingly out of the blue. So it is reasonable to face up to that

second is we’re petty poor at assessing risk and accepting some element of it in our lives.

I hope you teach your 4 children to be kinder to others than you seem to be in this post. I had a healthy pregnancy, but I also struggled for many years to conceive, so when I finally fell pregnant I couldn’t quite believe my luck. I spent my whole pregnancy saying “IF this baby arrives safely”, and not “WHEN this baby arrives” for fear of something going wrong. I didn’t disclose my anxiety to anyone, nor did I tell anyone about my fertility struggles. Perhaps the people you’re referring to are like me. Get off your high-horse and start being more supportive of others.

Not my intention to be nasty.

It just comes naturally then, without even trying

i hope you don’t have daughters OP? although if you do, i suspect they wouldn’t be open with you during their pregnancy anyway

Ridiculously unreasonable.

My pregnancy was healthy until the last month and things went South very quickly from there.

Despite that, pregnancy is just bloody hard work.

I was high risk, although I appeared young and healthy. I’d had recurrent miscarriages and had a variety of rare antibodies that required constant monitoring. Towards the end I was on daily monitoring for reduced movement and induced at 37 weeks. You wouldn’t know any of these things looking at me and I certainly didn’t tell colleagues or random women in the gym my personal medical information.

Isn't that normal? Especially first pregnancy. Growing a baby is a miracle really and even in normal healthy pregnancy its hard and sore. The feeling of the unknown due to birth can feel overwhelming. I say this as someone who had high risk pregnancy

Not to derail you but MN often discusses performance eating so maybe we can coin the term performance pregnancy for what you are describing.

I was going to reply to this post and comment on how it's such a shame there is no empathy for people who may be pregnant and very anxious despite appearing "healthy". I see others with common sense have got there before me. What a horrible way to live your life. I also hope you don't work in any sort of care or hospitality sector.

It might be a hormonal anxiety. Also they feel huge responsibility for growing another person. Have you had children yourself? Perhaps its a sign you should be in a different profession. Alternatively educate yourself.

I had the easiest pregnancy ever. Worked right up to his birth, on my feet all day, no sickness, not overly tired at all. Was a young mum. Having one now in my late 30s I think I'd suffer badly just because I'm tired, sore and exhausted in general anyway.

the idea that these women or indeed any woman would confide in someone like the Op is laughable

What a horrible post OP! Really, really mean. Maybe try and learn a little empathy, or if that's not possible, simply keep such meanness to yourself.

I was healthy and not categorised as high risk until I developed severe pre-eclampsia and almost died. Your attitude is what is wrong with the healthcare system in this country.