To be so irritated by women who have perfectly healthy pregnancies behaving like ...

[jellystitch]

They're dying of a disease or
They're the first woman in the world to have a baby it they think that their labour, delivery and expectant child is going to be hugely complicated despite having absolutely nothing medical reason to think as such? Perfectly healthy expectant young mums.
Maybe I'm just unlucky to be working with many of these...
It's not anxiety related. It's like an attention seeking thing.

When I was pregnant I was terrified of giving birth, it is called tokophobia, I dreaded going into labour, and I find hospitals very frightening , I think it is to do with being in pain and being totally at the mercy of others. I had heard so many horror stories. Sadly for me I had a dreadful time giving birth and all my fears came to pass, I had to have therapy to recover emotionally and never had another child. I also has a few physical injuries that took over a year to heal, something that nobody seems to talk about. So while I had on the surface what looked like an uncomplicated pregnancy things did go very wrong, Please do not judge people, you do not know what they may be dealing with

It's one of those things where loads of people get pregnant/have been pregnant so it's not unusual, but to the person who is pregnant it's a huge event in thier lives.

Show me an expectant mother who isn't anxious/worried about giving birth, health of their child etc and I will show you an honest politician

Maybe you should be concerned why so many women are anxious about their pregnancies? It's not obvious from your posts whether you meet pregnant women in a professional role or simply have several pregnant colleagues. Pregnancy is 'natural' and goes smoothly for many of us but there are also lots of things which can go wrong or cause issues

I’ve always been in the “you’re pregnant not ill” camp. I was lucky to have a straight forward and uncomplicated pregnancy. Other people’s reactions to being careful around me felt a bit silly. Your dog weighs nothing, I don’t mind if it stands on my belly. Your kids are playing, not running around with knives, you don’t need to tell them to be careful around me.

…until I reached heavily pregnant. Yes, please move out of my way and don’t expect me to even pretend to hurry, I can feel this babies head in my pelvis as I walk.

It completely changed my empathy towards pregnant women. Pregnancy is hard going even when uncomplicated. The feeling of not having a human inside me after giving birth was blissful.

One of my closest friends dropped dead from a ruptured aneurysm in her third trimester. Apparently, hormonal and hemodynamic changes make pregnancy a particularly risky time for this sort of thing. She was perfectly healthy otherwise, had had a model pregnancy and it happened with practically zero prior warning.
I've never been pregnant but ttc at the moment and I'm bloody terrified even though I know that what happened to my friend is rare. Have a bit of empathy, pregnant women have plenty of reasons to be a bit anxious.

Well, you’re pleasant. Are you really sure you’re in the right job?

That example is clearly anxiety, despite what you claimed before.

YAVBU, I'm sorry for the women you "support" if that's your take on it. I was definitely anxious when pregnant with my first, despite being perfectly healthy and having no medical reason to be worried.

I had a healthy pregnancy. Totally healthy woman. No reason in my own medical history to suggest birth wouldn't be easy. Except a family member, who I'm very like in a lot of ways, who nearly died from hemorrhaging in one of hers. And a friend who had to be induced and her labour took 4 days and then the baby was in ICU for 3 weeks. Both also healthy pregnancies and totally healthy women. Add into that the massive life changes coming at you, the changes to yourself and the hormones and its natural that anxieties will arise. And different people deal with these differently.

Get off your high horse presuming that because YOU didn't behave like this that all healthy women should behave in one particular way and let them be themselves throughout THEIR pregnancy.

Your being unreasonable.

Pregnacy and labour can be a dangerous physiological state for women. As someone previously indicated, it was one of the main reason for death in women over 70 years ago in developed countries, and still is in developing countries.

Every Pregnacy is individual.

It can be annoying when people moan a lot.

You are being totally unreasonable. What a disgusting thread.

You don’t know peoples personal circumstances. Mind your own business.

Yabvvu.

I know several healthy young women whose healthy babies died during labour. I also know many young healthy women who were left with significant and long lasting injuries resulting from birth. There is a reason why so many women used to die in childbirth.

Or when people tell you how your condition effects you... teacher use to love to tell me I was wrong when I told them what I need to NOT get sick.

I also have a 'motion sickness' however mines visual from my brain disability. I struggle to perceive movement, speed and distance and my brain doesn't cope well with flashing lights etc... so fast moving things zooming towards me and the sun flashing through trees/signs/lorries etc... sets of a migraine with vomiting.

Despite explaining this on every school trip they insisted I sit at the front by the windscreen (the worst place) and then acted shocked with I inevitable projectile vomited everywhere and spent the day crying from pain.

I know my own condition very well the middle of the bus at the back (darkest spot furthest away from windows) is the best way to beat it, also if that not possible then facing backwards so the visual impact isn't coming TOWARDS me.

Then I get cries of people going 'but thats not how motion sickness works... you need to SEE where you're going'... as if the same symptoms couldn't possibly be caused by DIFFERENT issues for different people.

Unlike many with motion sickness my inner ear works surprisingly great. You can spin me around until the cows come home without sickness as long as its so dark I can't see the movement. I can nail a gyroscope (and have been on one at the space center) as long as I was blinded folded but the front seat of a bus for hours especially on the motor way... vomit everywhere and the world starts spinning like Ive downed a bottle of vodka.

You're in the wrong job!!!

You work with many women who talk/behave like this? How very strange...

Yep. You are still being unreasonable. Even more so with this statement. Leave these women alone.

YABVU I hope you're not working with these pregnant women in relation to their pregnancies because your attitude, lack of understanding and lack of compassion could be dangerous.

Both of my pregnancies were "normal" and had no complications.

I vomited multiple times per day for 3+ months both times. I was nauseous all day for 3+ months both times. I felt ill throughout the entire pregnancy both times. I developed sciatica with my second for the entire third trimester.

My first DC was born in May 2020 during lockdown, where I hadn't seen midwives as frequently due to Covid. Hospitals were hugely scary at that point. Masks, sanitizing, no loved ones in the delivery room, no loved ones on the ward. Not even allowed into the hospital until I was in active labour, despite living 45 minutes from the hospital and waters had broken. It absolutely influenced my anxiety when pregnant with my second DC in 2022.

Add that to the fact that I have had a health-based panic disorder since I was 17.

You're damned right I was anxious. Perfectly normal pregnancies, but it's entirely normal to be anxious. I will never seem someone anxious for no reason when it comes to pregnancy - yes, billions of women have been through it, but that doesn't mean it's 100% safe.

This thread (you OP, not the people rightly calling you out) is vile and I don't think you should be working with pregnant women if these are your opinions.

Not my intention to be nasty

And yet..,,,

Quite a horrible post. I had straightforward pregnancies but I was still anxious about the birth - the pain, the risks, how my body would be affected/recover. I didn't make a big fuss but people like you would say stuff like "oh it's nothing". Well then it came to actually giving birth and it hurt more than i ever imagined. Definitely not "nothing"!

Also for most women pregnancy is a huge thing, especially the first time, because it's happening to YOU.

Having said that, I do get a bit 🤔 at women who seem to think they are the first person to be pregnant and that it elevates them to the status of sainthood and invalidity at the same time. One woman I knew stopped walking her dog as soon as she found out she was pregnant because she thought she "shouldn't be doing anything strenuous as I'm pregnant". Surprise surprise she put on far too much weight which brought complications of its own.

I am a perfectly sane, rational person who has only ever suffered anxiety a few times - in pregnancy. I was very worried about the baby being ok, about labour, about the state of the NHS, about losing a child in infancy.
your post is horrible

I once had a headache. Therefore I know what everyone else's headache is like. I know how tolerant everyone else is to pain. I understand how someone who has other underlying health conditions is. I understand how someone with a very demanding job and caring responsibilities is.

This is because I AM GOD AND I DECLARE MY POWER OF BEING AN ALL SEEING EYE.

All you mere mortals know nothing because I have more headaches than most.

Or I could be talking completely out of my arse.

Wow you work with these people and that's what you think, maybe time you looked for a new job

Tbh the first time you're pregnant and give birth it does feel a lot like you're the first woman ever to do it 🤣