To be so irritated by women who have perfectly healthy pregnancies behaving like ...

[jellystitch]

They're dying of a disease or
They're the first woman in the world to have a baby it they think that their labour, delivery and expectant child is going to be hugely complicated despite having absolutely nothing medical reason to think as such? Perfectly healthy expectant young mums.
Maybe I'm just unlucky to be working with many of these...
It's not anxiety related. It's like an attention seeking thing.

Why? I have a healthy uncomplicated pregnancy but I'm genuinely very tired and anxious. I also have another child and lots of work.

Why is it not ok to feel this way? How does me feeling this way invalidate anyone in a worse situation?

Or should I say don't complain if you have a broken leg, my auntie has cancer.

Pregnancy is a big deal and is tough on the body, even for the most healthy woman. Mentally it can also be tough and lead to anxiety. You’re the weird one here, not the pregnant women you come into contact with.

I think it’s poorly worded and OP is annoyed at people who attention seek when they themselves would admit they are low risk and well. Using pregnancy as an excuse for things. Some people can be like this! But this post was never going to go well on here.

1/10

I agree some women seem desperate for something to be wrong. I found pregnancy to be a breeze even in my 40s and I never felt the need to pretend otherwise. But people would look at me expectantly waiting to see what kind of ailments or complaints I had. There is a weird victim culture about it all.

YABU. It's a stressful time on the mind and body and very natural to imagine complications and worry about your unborn baby.

All of those silly women, pregnanting wrong

Thats a good point.

Anyone making excuses that result in say more work for others is going to be irritating. That's not about them being pregnant. I don't understand the 'attention seeking' point though.

@jellystitch you are getting a hammering here. FWIW I agree with you. There are some who go on and on and seem to be seeking every accommodation under the sun without a fit note re adjustments to back it up. I don't think they behave very professionally and it is far less prevalent among the professional staff than the admin staff. The former often don't even notify until about 15/16 weeks unless they work with chemicals or there is a significant problem like major sickness or an unstable pg and they are signed off.

My place is to nod and smile and say nothing negative I reserve that for Mnet.

I feel much the same about some of the fuss regarding menopause and would love to respond, FFS neck the HRT and get on with it like I did 15 years ago. But it wouldn't be appropriate just as it would no longer be appropriate tell a young woman who'd been groped in the office to kick him in the balls and tell him to fuck off next time. The world has moved on.

A lot of pregnancies are difficult in some way, and you were very lucky to have such an easy pregnancy in your 40s. Women being able to open up about struggling in pregnancy is not a bad thing. Women like you thinking pregnant women should shut up and put up do us all a disservice.

Eurgh. Pregnancy IS hard in the body even straight forward pregnancies, so I don't find it surprising that those going through pregnancy mention it in conversation. But you need not engage if it bothers you so much - why do you persist in seeking to make conversation solely on your terms? Also I refuse to believe they are talking only about pregnancy during every conversation at work as you claim, that seems quite far-fetched. YABU, and a whinger.

YABVU

pregnancy and birth are dangerous, potentially life-threatening, potentially deadly, and you don’t have to start off high rhisk to end up with problems.

I was 25, fit, had never been so glowing with health, and I had pre-eclampsia, gave birth early and ended up with horrific birth injuries. One day prior I would have been one of these women you’re bitching about.

I have always been terrified of pregnancy - no idea how women cope with another human growing inside them, even if it's a straightforward pregnancy. YABU.

Some people really struggle even with a normal, healthy pregnancy. My pregnancy was textbook but I still felt dreadful and nauseous for months on end. I didn't complain too much though.

I had pregnancy complications despite being fit and healthy etc, it can happen to anyone. But even without any extra problems the extra weight, fatigue, possible sickness, usual aches and pains and fatigue will usually occur and they're allowed to complain about those things so get off your high horse OP. You seem to lack empathy.

Ah, so this is an ‘I found pregnancy so easy, why do other women moan?’ kind of post.

Your medal is in the post, OP!

You clearly don’t think you’re being even slightly unreasonable so why bother posting?

YABU. Think yourself fortunate that you had four healthy pregnancies. Unsurprisingly I found men to be much kinder than other women when I was pregnant and more likely to offer me a seat on the tube etc. I was 25 and very healthy and still suffered a massive PPH. People may give birth everyday however it is still a life changing event especially for a FTM and having some anxiety about it is completely normal.

Bloody hell, don't be a dick - pregnancy is tough, and it's also quite all-consuming. It's hard to think about anything else sometimes, and if there are a few pregnant women in the same office of course it'll be a frequent topic of conversation. If you had a bunch of runners or football fans together, they'd likely talk about their shared interest too.

You're lucky to have had 4 easy pregnancies. Lots of people don't, and tbh even the textbook 'easy' ones aren't exactly a walk in the park. It can be a relief to share you're finding it hard.

You don't need to do or say anything, just get on with your work and try not to have a big sour face on you.

Perhaps the fact that you’ve had four straightforward pregnancies and deliveries has clouded your judgement about how easy it can be for women. Or perhaps you did have complications and you didn’t get any sympathy yourself, making you a bit bitter towards them. Either way, your attitude seems a bit misogynistic to me. Pregnancy and childbirth are a huge deal on the mind and body, with many risks involved, even for women not considered high risk at all.

Ah piss off. You’re one of those miserable bags that tells me I shouldn’t have an elective c section aren’t you? Or won’t stand up to give me a seat on the tube. Or rolls their eyes when I say I’m tired. Just piss off.

What a nasty thread. Having a baby and being pregnant for the first time is a big deal to most women, you don’t know what symptoms you’ll get or how you’ll feel, it can be anxious worrying about losses, you need to think about what you eat/drink and how it affects the baby. It’s great you were stoic and unarsed during your pregnancies but everyone experiences it differently. You aren’t the blueprint and it’s not your place to judge what other women feel and how they express that.

Pregnancy is a big deal and as pp's have said it's tough on the mind and body and can be life-threatening.

I am actually surprised anyone does it more than once by choice, and I had a healthy and relatively easy pregnancy. However, the birth itself wasn't great, I decided my body wasn't built for childbirth and quit while I was ahead.

Those who tell women who only have one child that they are selfish, that completely overused word, should read this thread!

I do agree however that many first time mothers think they are the only women to ever give birth, and many seem to think they've done the world a favour by doing so.

Precisely this.

That's like me saying that I find running 20 miles easy, so don't let me hear you complaining that you had to walk somewhere, or celebrating that you ran 5k. Or that because I understand advanced calculus, everyone should find maths a doddle. Just because one person finds something relatively straightforward, doesn't mean that's the norm.

That is called luck.

I've known women who have reacted similarly to being pregnant and I see how it can be annoying.
But also pregnancy is a big deal to a lot of people, people love sharing their horror stories so even if you know yours is currently uncomplicated- you also know there are no guarantees it will stay that way. And complications can be things like permanent urinary incontinence, emergency surgery or losing your or your babies life - which is quite a lot to just calmly accept when you have never done anything risky before.
It is the biggest change your body will do in such a short space of time, a change you cannot get away from and which you are expected to cope with quietly and without complaint.

So like I get it, for me there was nothing stressful during my pregnancies but that doesn't mean other women have the same experience. Even though it is a normal and natural part of life - it doesn't mean it's not the weirdest and most stressful thing you've ever done. I'd give them a pass to be a bit dramatic and accept that other people experience the world differently to you and if they are seeking additional support and kindness- it may be because they need it.