Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH at woman's house after Xmas night out

384 replies

YouBelongWithMe · 10/12/2023 02:24

My DH was on his Xmas night out tonight. Started quite early and he said he'd be home about 11pm - did and does not matter to met at all that he decided to extend it to a big night.

I text at 1.50am to check all was okay, and he asked me to call him asap.

As I understand it, one of the women got so incredibly drunk that she was very ill and unsafe. Spewing and falling over as she made her way into a taxi. My DH has gone home with her to check she was okay

She's now passed out on her floor, having been sick everywhere. He says he's covered in her sick. He doesn't want to leave her because she lives alone and he's not sure that she's safe.

He thinks he should stay until morning,or until she wakes up at least.

What would your DH do in that situation?

OP posts:
fuckssaaaaake · 10/12/2023 10:35

Wow some responses! I would be so grateful if someone stayed with my daughter/sister/friend if no one else was around! He sounds lovely

cristokitty · 10/12/2023 10:38

I'm glad she's ok.

My DH once had to put a 23 year old member of his team in a hotel room for the night (DH is late 30s). She was so drunk she could barely stand up but wasn't quite vomiting everywhere. He and a colleague took her to the train station to catch the last train home but missed it by 10 minutes. The colleague had to rush to their train so he took her to a hotel room, left some water and cash for a train the next day while she was throwing up in the toilet..... then missed his own train by about 2 minutes. He clearly wasn't in a great state himself because he insisted on taking a black cab home (£350!) instead of booking another room for half the cost. He also didn't think to contact someone on her phone. I did have a moment the next morning when I worried she might think something more sinister had happened. Thankfully she was mortified but grateful. I met her months later and she was able to laugh about it but told me she spent the rest of the weekend panicking about going to work on Monday.

vivainsomnia · 10/12/2023 10:39

What an amazing couple you both are! It's so nice to hear there are still some people willing to help and care in this fashion.

Tryingmybestadhd · 10/12/2023 10:39

I would go and meet him ! Play his lie !

Tetchypants · 10/12/2023 10:40

Tryingmybestadhd · 10/12/2023 10:39

I would go and meet him ! Play his lie !

Well, don’t you look silly?😂

SkyBlueCloudyLakes · 10/12/2023 10:41

Amazing work OP: what a decent, caring human beings you are.

....but ones again I have lost my believe in humanity. The amount of posters that kept telling OPs husband to leave the poor girl to cover himself. What is wrong with this world....

BullAndDoring · 10/12/2023 10:49

@YouBelongWithMe - if your DH has a hangover, why was he driving his new car - how come shew thre up in it, I don't understand?

Behindyouiam · 10/12/2023 10:50

BullAndDoring · 10/12/2023 10:49

@YouBelongWithMe - if your DH has a hangover, why was he driving his new car - how come shew thre up in it, I don't understand?

Try reading the OPs posts and finding out what actually happened?

Have you been drinking? Grin

TheSuggestedAmendment · 10/12/2023 10:50

YouBelongWithMe · 10/12/2023 09:58

Those asking about medical training etc - no but he is first-aid trained. He probably did make some daft calls, but he had also been on his Christmas night and was also not sober! I think he did the best he could with what he had.

OP - sorry, DHs great but, no. He absolutely did not do the best he could.

Seriously, I don’t want to stress you when both you and DH obviously have good intentions. But, please, there was so much risk to your DH and your life here.

You are so certain everyone would think he was lovely - that isn’t how juries or even HR would see it.

I’m only banging on here because it is SO important for colleagues to get this right. Christmas parties ruin lives every year.

ShinyPebble32 · 10/12/2023 10:53

Wow, your DH has placed himself in an extremely risky situation. If this woman has drunk herself into this state at all, let alone at a WORK event then she’s not a stable person, and god knows what she could accuse him of the next day.

The other colleagues are also at fault here, especially if there were more senior staff there - they should not have just disappeared leaving him to deal with the situation alone. For that reason, part of me would be suspicious that he’s being truthful.

If you aren’t looking after children at home, I would get the address and go round there.

BullAndDoring · 10/12/2023 10:53

No, I've not been drinking myself thanks.

I did say I didn't understand- it was in response to this .... which implies to my he had driven his own car, no?

YouBelongWithMe · Today 09:52

willWillSmithsmith · Today 07:48

I’m pretty sure OP also said they got a taxi back🤔
Show quote history
Yeah I got it wrong initially. I thought they got a taxi, it was only when I picked him up that I learned about the lif and the new car.

He's text her, no reply. Probably still sleeping it off. If he doesn't hear soon he's going to see if anyone else has heard - she might be too embarrassed to text, but it would be good to know she's alright.

Behindyouiam · 10/12/2023 10:54

Tryingmybestadhd · 10/12/2023 10:39

I would go and meet him ! Play his lie !

Well I can see a flaw in your cunning plan....

Behindyouiam · 10/12/2023 10:55

@BullAndDoring just lack comprehension skills then? Where does it state that OPs DH has a new car....

Bromptotoo · 10/12/2023 10:56

Behindyouiam · 10/12/2023 10:55

@BullAndDoring just lack comprehension skills then? Where does it state that OPs DH has a new car....

It's in there somewhere but in a ten page thread there's a lot of hay around the needle.

Behindyouiam · 10/12/2023 10:58

@Bromptotoo filter the OPs posts, then you can read them easily!

And get the actual facts?

Behindyouiam · 10/12/2023 10:59

To help you @Bromptotoo 7 of the 11 posts by OP!

Tangled123 · 10/12/2023 11:00

A local boy was in his final week of uni and went on a night out with his mates. I think he went home alone to use the bathroom and planned to go back out, but he fell down the stairs and broke his neck. He was dead before his housemates found him. It was awful.
Glad this woman is ok.

Stressfordays · 10/12/2023 11:05

No wonder my little 93 year old lady was left for 16hours on the floor with a head injury while on blood thinners waiting for an ambulance when people are calling them for someone puking up after a boozy work do 😡

Ramalangadingdong · 10/12/2023 11:08

Dita73 · 10/12/2023 10:19

If you completely trust him,why did you post in the first place?

I think posting is like talking to a friend, which is what your instinct would be. Also, I think it helped op to gather her thoughts. You wouldn't always know what to do in a situation like that and she got some good advice and acted on it. It worked out, so posting was a good decision imho.

Bromptotoo · 10/12/2023 11:12

Stressfordays · 10/12/2023 11:05

No wonder my little 93 year old lady was left for 16hours on the floor with a head injury while on blood thinners waiting for an ambulance when people are calling them for someone puking up after a boozy work do 😡

I suspect somebody merely puking after a work do wouldn't get past triage for and ambulance. However if they're beyond that point an verge on unresponsive then they may need medical help.

As others have said people die from being drunk and inhaling vomit. Or just from alcohol poisoning. A client of mine died via the former route maybe 30 years ago.

He was a habitual drunk and getting a call about him on a Monday was routine; he needed bailing out after being caught relieving himself in public. I can still see the shock on the face of the young lass who took the call to say he was in the morgue.

burnoutbabe · 10/12/2023 11:13

I thibk the couple who dropped them off are very much at fault here.

I know your husband is nice but they left an incapacitated female alone with a man.

She would have been (statistically) far safer with that couple.

(And him in case if any accusations)

Us females should never just let women go off alone with a "helpful" man.

I know that's sad but unfortunately it's the way things are.

(my partner is also one to do this and miss trains to assist drunk females then get cabs home himself,so I know it's lovely but unfortunately risky)

LardoBurrows · 10/12/2023 11:15

fuckssaaaaake · 10/12/2023 10:35

Wow some responses! I would be so grateful if someone stayed with my daughter/sister/friend if no one else was around! He sounds lovely

Totally agree. Op, you and your DH sounds like good eggs and I hope he enjoyed his breakfast.

lovenotwar149 · 10/12/2023 11:18

Do you trust your DH?

Tetchypants · 10/12/2023 11:19

burnoutbabe · 10/12/2023 11:13

I thibk the couple who dropped them off are very much at fault here.

I know your husband is nice but they left an incapacitated female alone with a man.

She would have been (statistically) far safer with that couple.

(And him in case if any accusations)

Us females should never just let women go off alone with a "helpful" man.

I know that's sad but unfortunately it's the way things are.

(my partner is also one to do this and miss trains to assist drunk females then get cabs home himself,so I know it's lovely but unfortunately risky)

Sad though, isn’t it, that just because he has a penis in his pants some people think he shouldn’t have helped. Nobody would bat an eyelid if a woman had done the same for her colleague.

A human did the right thing for another human is how I see it.

OP, hope your lovely husband has enjoyed his Maccies!

Cakencookieobsessed · 10/12/2023 11:22

He did the right thing in staying to check she's alright after putting himself in that position, but I think he was stupid to go home with her. She's an adult in control of her own actions. If she was drunk to the point she was unconscious I'd rather have rang an ambulance than sat in a colleague's house all night playing babysitter, fuck that.