Not wanting to spend this much on sons GF

[BeforeNew]

DS2 is 21, he has been with his girlfriend a little over a year. We like to keep Christmas budget pretty strict, we could spend more I just hate how consumerist it has become.
My budgets are set in stone really varying between £25 and £200 depending who it is.
Usually for the partners of our kids (we have 5) who aren't with us on Christmas Day we spend between £50 and £100.
I asked DS what I should get for his GF and he sent a link for a perfume costing more than £200.
I'm gobsmacked, we aren't struggling and I do have the money to buy the perfume comfortably but we don't ever spend that much at Christmas.
I called him and said WTF basically and he told me that he'd transfer the difference but she probably wouldn't want anything else!?!

He also told me that for her and her 5 closest friends they are spending around £200 on each person?!!

She's from a very wealthy family (dad is managing partner of a Swiss private bank type wealthy), but this is insane right?!!
AIBU saying I won't spend this much even if my son transfers the difference?!

Maybe get the minis set and something else? https://www.selfridges.com/GB/en/cat/kilian-the-icons-mini-discovery-set_R04125683/?cm_mmc=PLA--Google--BEAUTY-_-KILIAN&POR=Y

What fragrance is it? Id buy a smaller bottle of the scent she likes, in an eau de toilette, which will be cheaper.

Or buy complementing things like the showel gel, which is usually cheaper.

Tennis fan:

Wimbledon beach towel!!

I guess its all relative if she is rich but just stick to your budget and buy her something nice within that limit.

That's ridiculous. My in-laws are more than generous at Christmas and they don't spend that much on me. And I've been with dh over 20 years.

Do a smaller version of the perfume that is within your budget. Tell your son he needs to get a little more creative and find out what she likes. During the rare time (from your description) you are with her try to find out what her interests are.

That’s an insane amount of money for a perfume. But I think fragrances are gross anyways, so…

DS can buy it. Perfume is intimate. My in-laws give us a card and a bag of weathers caramel candy (which I’ve asked them to stop doing). I don’t get anyone gifts… I’m usually broke around that time of year anyways, but regardless - I hate the expectations! With my own DD we plan to buy 1 gift. That’s it.

@BeforeNew

Tell DS that it's not going to happen. Tell him buying very expensive perfume for a AC's girlfriend is just weird.

tell him
unless he comes up with some within budget by the weekend then you'll wing it.

not to mention how it would look to your other DC.

Does Freddie need some new outfits or accessories maybe with a little suitcase?

Awh sweet! Sounds like the Build a Bear gift went down really well. Maybe you could get something linked to that? A new set of clothes for the bear? Or accessories for it? E.g. a quick search found tennis themed Build a Bear clothes and accessories!
https://www.buildabear.co.uk/gifting/interest/tennis

It is too expensive for a present from your boyfriend's mum. Just get her a scarf or something.

Jeez Louise, that's a bit much, too much!!
Buy her pyjamas, chocolates, a smelly gift set and a candle.

I'm from a rather well off background and I'd have been HUGELY embarrassed if the mother of a boyfriend had spent this much - or indeed anything more than a token gift - on me.

I wouldn't spend £200 on a child's partner. Dp wouldn't expect that off my Dad.

There's cheaper options available if those are the brands she wants. Smaller sizes, travel sets etc. Or even a voucher for where she shops for things like this. I would love a selfridges/liberty voucher. I know some people don't like vouchers but I do.

Both me and dd have extensive perfume collections. She would never expect a full size Killian/MFK. Especially off her girlfriends parents. Not even off me.

Yanbu to stick to your own budget

However, her budget for her friends is entirely irrelevant to the conversation.

Well you can hardly give her a £200 gift and your other children's partners a £50 one. So, I'd tell your DS that he'll need to make up the extra £150×4 for their gifts from you! Obviously that's not going to happen. I'd just say no and that you'll find her another nice gift.

She likes food, ypu mentioned she has a mixing bowl, buy her something like an Ace hot and cold blender?

Charm bracelet with a xmas charm on it, she can add more charms from her travels?

Are you ok? I don't think they are replying to you?!

A heated throw blanket and book? A glass blooming teapot and some blooming teas? Beautiful snow globe.