To think children should have their mothers surname

[Laurendelaney1987]

if the parents are not married. You did the hard work! Why the fuck should the child carry his name?

Same reasoning here, but we were married and gave our children my surname.

I was Dr Alicia Johnson before I got married, and remained so after marriage.

I not that fussed about this. My first choice would be each new family should have a brand new surname. We all have my husbands surname but I can't say we gave it any thought. The only thing that crossed my mind was that we travelled a lot and intended to once we had kids and that it would be neater if we all had the same surname but, retrospectively, I don't think it would have been a problem.

The only thing that crossed my mind was that we travelled a lot and intended to once we had kids and that it would be neater if we all had the same surname but, retrospectively, I don't think it would have been a problem

It isn't a problem, should any other woman be thinking of giving her children her surname while her husband/partner keeps his.

AliciaJohnson Did your husband change his last name or did you just both stay the same? The great thing about being Dr is that you don't have to navigate the title issue! 😀

Err... she really did say awareness AND intelligence. Not OR.

HTH.

He kept his surname. He didn't want to change his name any more than I did! Fortunately he wasn't fussed either way about whose surname the children had- - whereas I was very keen for them to have my surname (partly because my family name is an ancestral type name and I wanted the children to be very clearly part of my family). I suppose we'd have had to hyphenate our surnames if he had felt really strongly about it as well. And, yes, it's worth becoming Dr just to avoid the Miss/Mrs/Ms problem!

@DialEmforMurder I agree with you wholeheartedly but out of the many, many married women I know I am definitely the only Ms and one of the only ones to have kept my family name.
I think it will take years and years before we see a change.

100%

I also use Ms and am boggled to be honest that anyone would use Mrs. Why?
Its so unequal. The man never has to reveal this information.

It does make me laugh a bit when I routinely get replies to Mr and Mrs (with the Mr always first) X esp in health or education about our children.

When I’ve clearly written as Ms X and no it wasn’t from both parents! And no he is not called Mr X!

@SingleMum11 Unfortunately I think everyone with Mrs Hisname (the vast majority) are boggled as to why we are married but Ms!

I'm a primary teacher and so many children say: " But you can't be married because you're Ms ***".

I already had a "man's name". My Dads so not sure refusing to switch it for another man's name is that big a statement.

I'm all for inventing new family names.

@TwoMoreBoxesJayne So if you're married, did you change your title and last name?

I absolutely HATE using the term Mrs but can't be arsed changing it to Ms. I dislike Ms too really.

Using Mr/Mrs/Ms etc feels so outdated.

@TwoMoreBoxesJayne But you changed over to using Mrs when you married then?

But @TwoMoreBoxesJayne you simply just have to use Ms. There is no legal forms to fill out. Unless you went to the trouble of filling out all of those forms with Mrs. Why would you do that?

I did because we got married I in a massive rush for legal reasons as we were emigrating and we thought it was easier to have the same name. Retrospectively I don't think it would have mattered but I wasn't ver bothered either way. I didn't ever change my name at work though.

If I was doing it again I'd suggest a new family surname - we could then have chosen a cool name. My husbands Dad was a nasty man so it grates that we have 'his' surname. On the upside it's a nice surname and much nicer than my maiden name.

I gave my children their dad’s surname because I knew it was going to be my name soon through my choice. We all ended up with the same surname. I don’t see it as dads name it’s our family name

I already had a "man's name". My Dads so not sure refusing to switch it for another man's name is that big a statement.

No, you had your own name. Either that or neither you nor your husband had your own names. And probably not your dad either, unless he was the first person ever to hold it which I suspect he wasn't.

By all means call yourself whatever you want, but no double standards.

@TwoMoreBoxesJayne What about your title? Did you change to Mrs?
Love the idea of a new family name!
My family is a blended family also affectionately known as The Crazy Crew!! 🤪.