To ask how anyone manages school drop offs and going to work?

[BobbidyBibbidyBob]

Maybe I live in a bubble but bear with me.. I am expecting my first child. I currently leave the house at 07.30 and return home circa 19.30 5 days a week (commute to london circa 1.45hrs).

Now, I am aware this isn't necessarily sustainable, but the nursery we will likely use offer 07.30-18.30, so not too difficult to work with. But we live next to a primary school, drop off seems to be circa 08.40. Am I an idiot for wondering how people (seemingly mostly mothers) manage this and get to a job for 9am? Do they just.. not? I find it hard to believe they all have cushty wfh jobs with flexibility but maybe i am wrong? Work part-time? Use childminders or family to do drop offs?

Please someone tell me how you managed this. i haven't even had the baby and am worried about it!

I have a mix of about million different things going on, depending on the child, the time of year and whether husband is busy at work or not.

We utilise: flexi time, wrap around, childminders, nursery with extended opening hours, holiday clubs and “walking buses” (we’re at the top of the route and so it means a 7.45 collection)

I have a special Google diary for organising it all which is tedious.

Wraparound care for a lot of parents. Breakfast and after school clubs/childminder/family.

It really is a major juggling act which throwing money at, helps.

I would do absolutely anything I could not to have a very young child in nursery or wrap around care from 07.30 - 18.30 5 days a week. I think that's just too long a day and unfair on the child. Is a nanny an option instead? Or a childminder to pick up and bring them home at 3pm?

I am in no way anti working mother, both my children were in nursery 4 days a week from 1 year old. But I worry you're setting yourself up for serious stress if you think such a long day in nursery is sustainable. I know some people have no choice sometimes and that's the way it has to be but if you have any other options at all I would avoid that.

Remember that it's not just a mother's responsibility to get the children to and from childcare or school, or to take time off work when they are sick. Make it very clear to their dad that he has to step up too - even if he's the main earner.

If you plan to continue those hours, you’ll need a nanny really. I don’t know of any nurseries, childminders or after school clubs that run until 7.30 pm. DS is 5 and goes to bed at 7pm. You may need to review your hours, otherwise you’ll never see your child in the week.

Most people I know either work part time or rely on family.

Those hours are not going to be sustainable unless you have a partner who can pick up a lot of slack. Breakfast club and aftershool club from 7.45 till 6. Young children often need to go to bed by 7 because they are exhausted especially if they have early starts. You will need to ask for more flexibility in your role e.g earlier home, spend time with the kids and catch up the hours later once they are in bed.

It is both parents responsibility but people just don't seem to think through how much children need from you and one career will often need to take a hit. It's with thinking through which one. Kids want your time they want to read stories at bedtime, to go to the park with you, they want you to come to assemblies and plays, to play games with them. They want playmates round for tea. They want to go to afterschool clubs. They need downtime. They need early nights and decent food. How will you provide all of those things if you don't get home till 7.30pm? Who will look after your child when nursery shuts at 6pm? It can work. I have friends who have their parents nearby and who fill the void. I didn't so I went part time, even that was a struggle.

Wrap around care is 7.35am to 6pm at my daughter's school. I'm lucky I have a flexible start time and my husband works nearby so he can pick up when I work later than 6pm.

it's not easy for many. A friend of mine has an afternoon/evening nanny

You also need to consider who will pick them up when they’re ill. A poorly 5yo can’t sit in the school reception office for two hours waiting to be picked up.

Because we live in a sexist society. Mothers aren't allowed to have careers once they have children.

So many options these days. I also live next to my DDs primary school and therefore me and my husband can easily do drop offs for her and our youngest at the preschool. We are home by 8.45am and work from home. I’m the breadwinner but have adjusted my hours so I work 4 days, but do 2 long ones and 2 school hour days so I can do pick up. However as others have said breakfast and after school clubs are very common and used. There’s a right mix at school of caeeer mums and stay at home mums.

you will want to drop off / pick up your child though, I am sure you will want to adapt your hours in some way when you have the child x

I also need to add my husband also works 4 days and has flexibility too and it is totally shared.

Working parents usually pay s**t loads in childcare fees until the kids are old enough to be left alone. Me and my partner now work around each other so dont need before and after school club but lots of parents still do

We have baby number 3 due next week but this is what we did with first two. I went back to work full time after maternity leave both times. The nursery we chose for the kids was 5minutes from my work - only a 30-1hour commute depending on traffic from home so I would do drop off and pick up from nursery on the days they were in (earliest they could go in was 8am) and we had help 2 days a week from grandparents. When my DD started school last year we put her into breakfast club and afterschool club who collected from the school - my husband would do the school drop off and afterschool pick up while I carried on with the nursery runs for DS.

What I would say is I have felt I have missed out massively on time with the kids working full time, at the time I was finishing my chartered accountancy exams so pay was poor so my wage paid for childcare and travel costs etc but had to do it so I would qualify. This time round I won’t be going back full time so as to make the most of the time with the kids when they are young, it gets depressing after a while leaving the house at 7am, home after 6pm and then trying to fit in dinner, bath & bed with the kids and having no time with them, so maybe just something else to consider and weigh up childcare costs vs cutting hours down whether it’s yourself or husband.

I did 4.5days in 4 days of which 1 was from home (worked longer hours then) with my first child, paid for earlier nursery drop off to accommodate commute. It was difficult but managed. By the time I had the second one, first one was school age and I went down to 3 days a week and we had a nanny on my working days. My salary covered pretty much childcare and commute but I had a comfort of not rushing back and could use my 3 days to build my career.
Kids are now older, younger one only occasionally goes to the afterschool club as I’m working from home 60% of my time and in a position to schedule my office diary to fit with my home commitments/around my commute.
I have to be honest, it’s a balancing act. I could have become SAHM but I knew it would be difficult to go back to work after a long break and I also wanted to remain “me” not just be a mum. Also even though I didn’t bring additional income I still built up my pension pot. And as mentioned before I managed to go up in ranks too.

Good luck OP.

I am self employed and when DS was born I owned my own business . I tailored my working day around school but worked late one night a week. I took a late afternoon break to do the round trip to pick him up. DH would pick him up and take him home. I didn’t work a 5 day week but it was a high paid area. I am now retired and work one day a week, earning national average household income.
As a 1960s baby I chose a career to fit around family rather than just a career. I don’t think we ever considered that we would be career women, just mums who could work.

It is still tough finding a flexible career that is not affected by a career break. I just chose well.

I was also lucky that DS has always been super healthy and in 18 years had less than 10 days off sick.
Nursery and school were chosen primarily for quality of care and education ( both private), but the wrap around care and holiday clubs were excellent.

I don’t think I would have been comfortable being 1.45hrs from childcare/school location without robust back up for school run. I would be looking for work closer to home.

In our area the only people I know who have both parents working full time with primary age children have grandparents (almost always grandmother) doing a lot of childcare.

I work 22.5 hours spread over 4 days so I am able to do school runs etc. my husband's job is flexible when he is not travelling so if I have an early meeting he will do the drop off etc.

I work full time in a school so zero flexibility. I don’t have family I can rely on but have a wonderful childminder. Some days I drop off at 7am and pick up at 6pm. I always make sure one day a week I leave just after the bell to do something together.

I chose a childminder over breakfast club because she provides a home cooked evening meal and a bit more of a relaxed atmosphere where they can chill out. Mine have gone since little and don’t know any different

Explore your options locally and choose one that you feel is right for you and works for your family.

I work 21hrs a week and have a long commute - around 1.5 hrs door to door. My husband wfh, full time - no need to go into the office, but does have around 5 work trips a year. On the two days I have off, I do pick ups and drop offs (also look after younger child). One day per week, I go in early and work 8-1, home by 2.30 - so husband does drop off and I do pick up. Two days per week, I work longer days - 8-5, so can't do any pick ups or drop offs. One day husband does drop off and then dc goes to after school club until 5pm. The other day husband does drop off and picks up at normal time (because he's worked extra hours on the days when I'm off). All works well until he's away for work, then I have to take leave, move my mum in etc. Our school has breakfast club from 7.30 and after school club until 5pm. We also live a 5 min walk from school, which helps.

I had flexible working which helped but I would not work that far away even if I never had children. I would much prefer to earn less money and have a better balance.

My child’s school had early morning care from 8.00 then after school care until 5.30 or maybe it was 6.00. School was 2 miles from home and work was a mile after school. So it was on my way to/from work.

A bit depends on your child too. Not all primary school children can cope easily with the ten hours day that breakfast club and after-school club bring.

Changing your hours, when they’re very little. My DD sleeps 6pm - 7am, so if I was working your hours I would never see her. I am out at 8am and back by 4pm (teacher).

Breakfast club starts at 7:30 here school at 8:30, we don't have long commutes, so we don't need it, one of us will drop off at 8:30 and go straight to work, but friends do. We've both also consolidated full time into 4 days so we only need wrap around/after school club 3 days a week. I also see other parents planning WFH days between them so they are around for either pick up or drop off. I live in a London commuter area so it's common. Fewer people going into the city every day these days now (we see them walk past our house in the morning to the station)

I don't know many that do both breakfast and ASC on the same day, reception tires them out a lot more than nursery

How??

I’m a teacher and I work 7:15-5/6 depending on if it’s me having to collect or not.
How do you get the planning, marking, assessing and all the paperwork done?!