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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect parents not to have child’s birthday party on Xmas Eve

375 replies

I88l · 04/12/2023 11:33

One of my daughter’s school friends has a birthday party on Xmas Eve.
i think the idea of inviting school kids to a birthday party on Xmas eve is pretty odd, because Xmas Eve should be spent with family.

OP posts:
ALightOverThere · 04/12/2023 11:35

They can have the party when they want. Just decline the invitation if you don’t fancy it.

Different people do different things on Christmas Eve. There’s no “should” about it.

Legomania · 04/12/2023 11:35

Yanbu not to want to go (I wouldn't either, nor feel obliged to do so) but yabu to say it should be spent with family

gooddayruby · 04/12/2023 11:35

Her birthday might be on Xmas eve. You don't have to go..

Nevermind31 · 04/12/2023 11:36

Don’t go then…
either the parents will find out that it doesn’t work because no one goes, or it will be a roaring success (because everyone is happy to drop off for a couple of hours on Xmas eve to get some shopping/ prep in, or to stay to have a drink…

Familiaritybreedscontemptso · 04/12/2023 11:36

I think they can have the party whenever they want and it’s up to you whether you go or not. Lots of people are still working on Christmas Eve. It can also be a really long day with young children at peak excitement so something to break it up sounds like a great idea to me. It’s Christmas Day & Boxing Day that are the family days.

Covidiokilledtheradiostar · 04/12/2023 11:37

Just decline if you don’t want to go. Personally I don’t think I’d have a problem sounds like fun and only takes up a few hours. Still plenty of time for festive family fun

Noshowlomo · 04/12/2023 11:37

Depends how old. My son is now 4.5 so I would stay with him so no, I’d decline. When he’s older and it’s drop off then yes, so I can do some wrapping and last minute bits

Headband · 04/12/2023 11:37

Don't go then 🤷‍♀️

Backtoreality1 · 04/12/2023 11:37

If the childs birthday is on Christmas eve then of course she should have her party then. if it was your child you would do the same. Suck it up....must be hard enough for the poor kid already having a birthday that day.

StephanieSuperpowers · 04/12/2023 11:37

Christmas Eve novelty and excitement that I wouldn't have to provide for a few hours? I'd be delighted to send my child.

Talipesmum · 04/12/2023 11:37

There’s no “should”. It is pretty inconvenient timing though - we’re always travelling so wouldn’t be able to make those dates. But worth a try from them especially if that’s the child’s actual birthday.

LubaLuca · 04/12/2023 11:38

It's only a couple of hours I suppose, and sometimes young children can become a bit overwhelmed and overexcited just waiting for the big day. Time with friends would break up the day.

Would you feel differently if it was a children's Christmas party? When I was little we had a circle of friends who used to take it in turns to throw a little Xmas get together for the children, and we all loved it.

Pleatherandlace · 04/12/2023 11:38

It must be pretty crap for the kid to have a Christmas birthday. I’d make the effort so that my child could go. It’s probably only a couple of hours out of the day.

Maray1967 · 04/12/2023 11:38

Yes, I suspect I’d view it that way as well! The child’s birthday might well be on the 24th.

DelurkingAJ · 04/12/2023 11:38

My parents have a wildly successful Xmas Eve party every year…most people seem to welcome the chance to relax.

Ploctopus · 04/12/2023 11:38

There’s no ‘should’ involved - people can do what they like at Christmas. That includes you, obviously, so if you don’t want to go just politely decline.

Ihatethenewlook · 04/12/2023 11:38

Why ‘should’ Xmas eve be spent with families? I’ll be spending mine doing a double shift. I’d much rather be at a party with my children

CornishGem1975 · 04/12/2023 11:38

Up to them I guess, but I would decline.

MumDadBingoBlueyy · 04/12/2023 11:39

Might be a cultural thing. I’m of Polish descent and there is not a chance my DC would be going to a party in xmas eve, it’s the biggest day of Christmas in my eyes 😌

I can’t imagine my DCs would want to go either

OrigamiOwl · 04/12/2023 11:39

Legomania · 04/12/2023 11:35

Yanbu not to want to go (I wouldn't either, nor feel obliged to do so) but yabu to say it should be spent with family

Agree with this.

Decline if you want, but there is no "should" about it. People are free to spend it how they wish.

I do think it must be tricky if your child has a Christmas eve/Christmas day/Boxing day birthday tho.

jemenfous37 · 04/12/2023 11:39

Are you the Christmas police?

TheChosenTwo · 04/12/2023 11:39

Don’t send your daughter if you’re busy.
There’s no rule about spending Christmas Eve exclusively with family.
I’d have been delighted at this invitation for any of mine when they were younger, Christmas Eve was (and still is!) a chaotic day in our house, wrapping, cleaning, tidying etc, cooking prep… usually try and round everyone up for a walk in the fresh air but it doesn’t always happen because it’s so busy. A party would have been a fab way of delegating the ‘tire kid out’ task.

IDontLoveTheWayYouLie · 04/12/2023 11:40

How dare anyone have a birthday near Christmas!!!

Thepeopleversuswork · 04/12/2023 11:41

It’s really up to them and it’s not for you to dictate how another family “should” do anything. Go if you want to, don’t if you don’t. But it’s a couple of hours out of what will be several days of family time. I can’t see a problem.

Muchtoomuchtodo · 04/12/2023 11:41

People have their birthdays at Christmas, why shouldn’t they be able to have a party?

many people work on Christmas Eve so it’s not a family day for everyone.

if it doesn’t suit you just politely decline.