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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To expect parents not to have child’s birthday party on Xmas Eve

375 replies

I88l · 04/12/2023 11:33

One of my daughter’s school friends has a birthday party on Xmas Eve.
i think the idea of inviting school kids to a birthday party on Xmas eve is pretty odd, because Xmas Eve should be spent with family.

OP posts:
Jackfrostnippingatmynose · 04/12/2023 11:56

Maybe that's the child's birthday?! We have adult family with birthdays on Xmas/boxing day who always mention each year that they have never spent their birthday with their friends 🤔
An ideal opportunity for you to drop her off for a couple of hours to let off steam whilst you finish wrapping pressies. Win win! 👍

muddyford · 04/12/2023 11:56

A family member has her birthday on Christmas Eve. She wants her party then. You don't have to go.

PastelHouses · 04/12/2023 11:57

This reply has been deleted

This is a goady troll so we've removed their posts.

ManateeFair · 04/12/2023 11:57

MumDadBingoBlueyy · 04/12/2023 11:39

Might be a cultural thing. I’m of Polish descent and there is not a chance my DC would be going to a party in xmas eve, it’s the biggest day of Christmas in my eyes 😌

I can’t imagine my DCs would want to go either

That's fine, but the point is that just because it's the biggest day of Christmas in your eyes, that doesn't mean it's the biggest day of Christmas in everyone else's eyes. Of course you can decline to go, but it's not unreasonable of the parents to ask.

In the UK, Christmas Eve is a normal working day. Christmas Day and Boxing Day are the holidays, and most people see Christmas Day as 'the biggest day of Christmas', so it's not unreasonable for people to have a kids' party on Christmas Eve.

I used to do bar work when I was younger and Christmas Eve was the busiest day time shift of the entire year, and the second-busiest night time shift after New Year's Eve, so definitely not a stay-at-home day for everyone.

MaggieFS · 04/12/2023 11:57

Wow. What if it's the child's birthday.

What if they don't celebrate Christmas.

People who have an attitude of 'should' to do with Christmas are the people who make is less enjoyable for others.

Given Christmas Eve is a Sunday, I would LOVE THIS. At least one DC would be occupied and I could get the veg peeled ready for the big day.

ilovesooty · 04/12/2023 11:58

Christmas Eve is a normal working day for many people.

They can have their party when they like. Don't accept the invitation if you don't want to.

Winniespooh · 04/12/2023 12:02

Don't go. You'll only ruin it.

KaiserChefs · 04/12/2023 12:02

This reply has been deleted

This is a goady troll so we've removed their posts.

Because no one will turn up because the vast majority of people have plans or are travelling to their Christmas plans on Christmas eve!

How absolutely tragic for the poor child that their parents were obtuse idiots (like so many who have answered this thread while doing absolutely zero thinking) and booked them a party on Christmas Eve (regardless of when their birthday is). My birthday is Christmas. No one would turn up to a Christmas party. No child should stand in the middle of their party wondering when their friends are coming and no one turns up.

You have to book it when people will actually turn up, it's the only fair thing for the child.

Hadjab · 04/12/2023 12:02

Winniespooh · 04/12/2023 12:02

Don't go. You'll only ruin it.

😂

Funkyslippers · 04/12/2023 12:03

We never felt Christmas eve should be spent with family. We just did whatever we fancied. I'd be happy to send my child to a party then

AbondonedThemePark · 04/12/2023 12:05

Couldyounot · 04/12/2023 11:51

Some of us have children born on Christmas Eve, so there's that

These people "should" have hurried up and got it out on the 23rd, or held it in until the 27th, obviously...

😆

KaiserChefs · 04/12/2023 12:05

OP if you can, please go. Your child might be the only one who turns up.

Rewis · 04/12/2023 12:05

Of course they can have the party of Christmas eve. But I do think it is an odd day to have a friends birthday party since a lot of people have fanily traditions or trvavel that day. But im sure they have done their swot analysis. My nephew is born on Christmas day and they always have their friend party in early January

Gnomegnomegnome · 04/12/2023 12:05

One of my dc is the day before Christmas Eve. People were very open about the fact that they could get last minute Christmas things done while they sent their dc to our dc party!
We did it a week earlier sometimes and found more people couldn’t attend because they were away with family.

Guesswho88 · 04/12/2023 12:06

Can't choose the birthday sorry! Maybe think of someone other than yourself?

Guesswho88 · 04/12/2023 12:07

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Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Hadjab · 04/12/2023 12:08

KaiserChefs · 04/12/2023 12:02

Because no one will turn up because the vast majority of people have plans or are travelling to their Christmas plans on Christmas eve!

How absolutely tragic for the poor child that their parents were obtuse idiots (like so many who have answered this thread while doing absolutely zero thinking) and booked them a party on Christmas Eve (regardless of when their birthday is). My birthday is Christmas. No one would turn up to a Christmas party. No child should stand in the middle of their party wondering when their friends are coming and no one turns up.

You have to book it when people will actually turn up, it's the only fair thing for the child.

In your experience, no one would turn up. My youngest has a friend born on Christmas Eve - she's had a party on Christmas Eve every year since she turned 5, she's about to turn 17. Her parties have always been extremely well attended. Clearly there are a lot more "obtuse idiots" out there than you think, and guess what, we're happy in our idiocy, thanks.

Vuurhoutjies · 04/12/2023 12:08

Well, maybe their child's birthday is Christmas Eve or Christmas Day and the child wants to still feel special and not have everything about Christmas?

I can totally see why you might not want to go to a Christmas even birthday party. For me, it sounds brilliant - I could farm DD off and I could use the time to get on with pre-Christmas chores.

Gnomegnomegnome · 04/12/2023 12:09

@Hadjab was just typing the same!

housethatbuiltme · 04/12/2023 12:10

You spend it together doesn't mean others do.

If it was us we would have to turn it down as we have tickets to an event that day but they are not 'wrong'.

Maybe the kid has a Christmas day birthday, thats already a crap shoot they still deserve a party.

MonkeyToez · 04/12/2023 12:10

Honestly its shit having a birthday near Christmas, I had so many parties growing up that only 2 or 3 (or sometimes 0) people would turn up for that my mum refused to throw any more birthday parties for me after I was 9. I'm nearly 30 now and have never had another party since.

As sad as it sounds it affected me quite badly and I usually spend my birthdays sitting at home sad thinking about all the other crappy birthdays I've had because even as an adult its impossible to make plans as most people are too busy or just can't be arsed.

I would probably make the effort to attend for the sake of the birthday child, plus your child will probably enjoy the excitement of being around their friends on xmas eve.

thesugarbumfairy · 04/12/2023 12:10

Obviously some people will be busier than usual that day/visiting relatives/doing nativities etc etc. But when mine were little I would leap at any opportunity for something to distract them. So I'd have had no issue with it. Just decline. I imagine they are aware that it wont necessarily be as big a turnout as other dates.

Twentypastfour · 04/12/2023 12:11

I’m sure we’re not alone in that we have a ridiculously busy December but nothing at all planned on Christmas Eve - which is always left completely clear for us to wrap things up - work, admin - and slowly clean, control DC’s excitement, just have a slow day. So actually, I’d probably be more likely to make a Christmas Eve party than one falling on a different December weekend.

I probably would decline the invite if my DC weren’t very good friends with the child in question or if the party was incredibly difficult to get to, but I wouldn’t mind the idea on principle and I’d be ok with DC going to a local party for a good friend.

December birthday are a pain really whenever they are in the month. Everyone gets so booked up. Maybe 24ths no worse than any.

LessonsInPhysics · 04/12/2023 12:13

Hugely enjoyed when my DS was invited to a christmas eve party in primary school. Three years in a row he was entertained in the morning, while my DH worked and I could get a few things sorted out before we all gathered for lunch.
Of course it didn't suit everyone but it meant that everyone could be invited, and then when said child got older, she did things with close friends on a different day.
If it's an evening party, I might feel a bit different.

Vuurhoutjies · 04/12/2023 12:14

As sad as it sounds it affected me quite badly and I usually spend my birthdays sitting at home sad thinking about all the other crappy birthdays I've had because even as an adult its impossible to make plans as most people are too busy or just can't be arsed.

OP - this is not true and I think you should get out of the understandable funk. My brother has a Chrstmas birthday and absolutely, he got annoyed sometimes as it felt like it was all-out Christmas and not him. and he HATED that he got "joint presents".

But as he's got older, it actually has benefits. He throws a party for his birthday and people are always up for it - they're in the party mood, often around etc. It all works really well.

Plan a party next year. Tell everyone in plenty of time and book it for the 23rd or something. You'll have a blast!