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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect parents not to have child’s birthday party on Xmas Eve

375 replies

I88l · 04/12/2023 11:33

One of my daughter’s school friends has a birthday party on Xmas Eve.
i think the idea of inviting school kids to a birthday party on Xmas eve is pretty odd, because Xmas Eve should be spent with family.

OP posts:
Hobnobswantshernameback · 04/12/2023 11:41

I'm often in work in Xmas Eve til five and have in the past worked a night shift into Xmas day
Wasnt aware I'm doing Xmas Eve wrong by not being with my family
These days we have a load of friends over for drinks? Should I cancel given I'm not blood relatives of these people?
how did I get to fifty not knowing these things

ElaineMBenes · 04/12/2023 11:42

We spend Christmas eve with friends.
In fact, we also spend Christmas day night with them too. I wont see my family until the 27th

NorthernAttitude · 04/12/2023 11:42

It might be her birthday? It might be a lovely day for a bunch of excited kids? It might be a way for you to get a couple of hours peace before Christmas madness ensues? If none of this appeals to you say no thanks to the invitation. Simple.

Legomania · 04/12/2023 11:43

As Christmas Eve falls on a Sunday this year that is a bit weird. Surely most people in this situation would have gone for Saturday 23rd

LuvSmallDogs · 04/12/2023 11:43

What do you do on Xmas Eve? In my family the only tradition that happens is leaving a mince pie and milk for Santa before bed, which would be totally doable after going to an birthday party.

NorthernAttitude · 04/12/2023 11:43

Legomania · 04/12/2023 11:43

As Christmas Eve falls on a Sunday this year that is a bit weird. Surely most people in this situation would have gone for Saturday 23rd

Why?

NotExactlySuits · 04/12/2023 11:44

I think that sounds great! My kids are always wildly over excited and uncontrollable on Christmas Eve and I'd love a chance to take them out and run off the energy having fun for a friend's birthday.

If Christmas Eve is Monday - Friday I'd normally be working until 5pm anyway so it's not necessarily a family day anyway.

Spirallingdownwards · 04/12/2023 11:44

MumDadBingoBlueyy · 04/12/2023 11:39

Might be a cultural thing. I’m of Polish descent and there is not a chance my DC would be going to a party in xmas eve, it’s the biggest day of Christmas in my eyes 😌

I can’t imagine my DCs would want to go either

Culturally the UK celebrates on 25 December so if the child has a birthday on 24th they probably chose to have the party then as its their actual birthday. It would be more unusual to expect people to go to a birthday party on 25 December here and I feel sure noone would arrange it for then especially as it is a Bank Holiday and Christmas Eve isn't.

madaboutmad · 04/12/2023 11:44

should be spent with family

If you could signpost me to the rule it would help.

takealettermsjones · 04/12/2023 11:44

Oh, of course they are unreasonable. Your children should fit in with your traditions no matter what, but now you've got to explain to your child why they can't go to their friend's party. How very unfair of the other parent to put that on you.

NotToYou · 04/12/2023 11:45

Sounds like a good idea to me, wear the kids out a bit so they sleep that night.

spidermonkeys · 04/12/2023 11:45

If it's a drop off party, I would be extremely pleased of the invite. A couple of hours to sort last min bits !

Having said that, if you don't want to go, don't go! It's very simple.

gotomomo · 04/12/2023 11:46

As Christmas Eve is a work day until 5ish I'm not sure how that becomes a family day? I'd find it odder if the party is in the evening but that's because I have friends that celebrate their main meal in the evening on Christmas Eve, a daytime party is fine though

IDontLoveTheWayYouLie · 04/12/2023 11:46

I thought Christmas Day was more of the familyish day and Christmas Eve was a normal day.

Legomania · 04/12/2023 11:46

NorthernAttitude · 04/12/2023 11:43

Why?

Show quote history

I expect it would have brought Christmas forward for the many families where the adults normally work up to Christmas Eve

IME children's parties are also more often on a Saturday

zeibesaffron · 04/12/2023 11:47

How lovely I would go if I could- perhaps the DCs birthday is on the 24th! She should have her party whenever she likes!!

ManateeFair · 04/12/2023 11:48

This year, Christmas Eve happens to fall on a Sunday but usually, it's an ordinary working day. It's not a public holiday. So YABU to say it 'should' be spent with family. It's just your preference. If want to decline the invitation, that's absolutely fine, but it's not unreasonable to expect them not to have the party on that day. Particularly if that's the kid's actual birthday.

Obviously some people won't be able to go because they're travelling or have guests or whatever, but I'm sure plenty of people would love to send their hyper-excited kids off to wear themselves out a party at someone else's house for a couple of hours. Ideal opportunity to get last minute present wrapping done, get the house in order for Christmas Day, do some food prep, or indeed just put your feet up with a Bailey's and a film and have an afternoon of peace and quiet while the kids enjoy themselves.

Cas112 · 04/12/2023 11:50

Just decline, your entitled to not go just as they are entitled to have a party on christmas eve if they want

Mulhollandmagoo · 04/12/2023 11:51

I would 100% go to a party on Christmas eve!! my daughter is usually on the ceiling with excitement, so a place to run it off and wizz around with her friends for a couple of hours would be perfect! but we don't do so much on Christmas eve until the evening.

Couldyounot · 04/12/2023 11:51

Some of us have children born on Christmas Eve, so there's that

pontipinemum · 04/12/2023 11:52

It's probably the child's birthday and they want to have a party for them. You don't need to go but it's not unreasonable. How old are they? What time is it? Surely it won't take up too much of the day.

CrispsandCheeseSandwich · 04/12/2023 11:52

Is this a birthday where the children are old enough to be dropped off, or do you have to stay?

I'd quite like a drop off party on Christmas Eve, would give me time to get stuff done!

Just don't go if it bothers you.

Janieforever · 04/12/2023 11:54

Not sure what you’re doing that is so special in crimbo eve, but if that’s the kids birthday or the only day they can do ie parents working on the sat, the I think it’s fine,

Suddenlychrimbo · 04/12/2023 11:56

I've voted YANBU.

I think it's naive and selfish to have a kids birthday party on Xmas Eve, it's a very busy day and many people will have gone to a relatives for Christmas at that point.

It would make sense to have it earlier or later to get the maximum numbers and all the childs friends there

Having it on Christmas Eve is not really fair on the child or guests.

3WildOnes · 04/12/2023 11:56

I would be fine with this. Friends of ours host a Christmas eve party every year late afternoon to early evening, It is very well attended by many families.