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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect parents not to have child’s birthday party on Xmas Eve

375 replies

I88l · 04/12/2023 11:33

One of my daughter’s school friends has a birthday party on Xmas Eve.
i think the idea of inviting school kids to a birthday party on Xmas eve is pretty odd, because Xmas Eve should be spent with family.

OP posts:
GalileoHumpkins · 04/12/2023 12:56

Are you the Christmas eve police?

LolaSmiles · 04/12/2023 12:57

You're welcome to decline if your idea of Christmas Eve is a special family day.

It's not unreasonable for someone to have a party though, and there'll be plenty of people who are happy for their child to enjoy a friend's birthday party.

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 04/12/2023 12:57

One of my DDs best friends has their birthday on Christmas Eve.

Their parties were always popular with parents who took the chance to drop them off for a few hours and go and have child-free time sorting stuff for the next day.

There was only ever one or two children who didn't come and that was generally if they were travelling to visit family.

It's totally bizarre that people think there is a "should" involved in this. If the family involved want to have a party, knowing that some won't come, it's entirely up to them. No different to a party the first weekend of the summer holidays when there's a high chance of a lot of people being away. Either let your child go or don't. No need for drama

ChocolateCakeOverspill · 04/12/2023 12:58

This makes me so sad. My son has never had a party because he was born on Christmas Eve and people want to spend it with family.

Even trying to organize something earlier in December is a waste of time because people are busy and after Christmas everyone is skint .

Chipsandbeansandcheese · 04/12/2023 12:58

There’s no ‘should’ about it.

Personally I think it’s a great way to kill some time on Xmas eve with excitable children.

purplecorkheart · 04/12/2023 13:00

Maybe the birthday child wants to have their party on their actual birthday. Maybe it is the only date that the parents can book the venue.

If it is a drop off party I would be thrilled with a couple of hours to do those last minute jobs that crop up. If it didn't suit I would just politely refuse the invite.

Ofa · 04/12/2023 13:00

Yeah that’s weird and puts the child’s friends in an awkward position as obviously the invited kids will want to go to the party, but most of the invited kids’ parents will say no because family guests are coming. So then parents and children are arguing, the birthday child gets a crap small party and no one is happy.

It’s selfish (and attention-seeking) to send an invite like that imo, as it’s likely to cause family arguments and stress between child friends.

Born on Christmas Eve? Don’t be a dick, just have your party a week before.

3peassuit · 04/12/2023 13:01

When my children were little Christmas Eve was always busy and it would have difficult to attend. That said, it’s up to the birthday child’s parents when to have the party and they probably realise that Christmas Eve will mean a few no shows.

PianPianPiano · 04/12/2023 13:01

KaiserChefs · 04/12/2023 12:02

Because no one will turn up because the vast majority of people have plans or are travelling to their Christmas plans on Christmas eve!

How absolutely tragic for the poor child that their parents were obtuse idiots (like so many who have answered this thread while doing absolutely zero thinking) and booked them a party on Christmas Eve (regardless of when their birthday is). My birthday is Christmas. No one would turn up to a Christmas party. No child should stand in the middle of their party wondering when their friends are coming and no one turns up.

You have to book it when people will actually turn up, it's the only fair thing for the child.

Show quote history

Most people would have RSVP'd, so the 'poor child' and their parents will have a pretty good idea about how many people are coming - so unlikely to be anyone dramatically stood in an empty room wondering where all their friends are. Most people aren't so rude as to just 'not turn up'.

I don't have any plans for Christmas eve. If DS was invited to a party, I would absolutely take him to it.

daisybrown37 · 04/12/2023 13:01

You can’t “expect” parents to arrange a party when it suits you better. Also there is nothing to say Xmas eve “should” be spent with family.

Just decline the invite.

Solmum1964 · 04/12/2023 13:01

My friend's son has a Christmas Eve birthday.
We joined them every Christmas Eve afternoon for a lot of years whilst they were school age to go to the cinema and then have a meal at Pizza Hut.
It made his birthday a bit more special and my view was that anything that hadn't been done by that time didn't need doing!

NorthernAttitude · 04/12/2023 13:02

Ofa · 04/12/2023 13:00

Yeah that’s weird and puts the child’s friends in an awkward position as obviously the invited kids will want to go to the party, but most of the invited kids’ parents will say no because family guests are coming. So then parents and children are arguing, the birthday child gets a crap small party and no one is happy.

It’s selfish (and attention-seeking) to send an invite like that imo, as it’s likely to cause family arguments and stress between child friends.

Born on Christmas Eve? Don’t be a dick, just have your party a week before.

Attention seeking 😂

ToothFairy2023 · 04/12/2023 13:02

What about the poor child with a Christmas birthday OP. The parents can have it when they want. I used to do DS’s December birthday party early or mid December when he was little to ensure most of his friends were free. Now he is older and at Uni every year he assumes friends will be free and will make the effort to be available but as its so close to Christmas very few people are free or do make the effort. I always remind him to plan a night out or something well in advance but he never does. But at least we now always go out for a family meal with him on his actual birthday.

Alondra · 04/12/2023 13:02

It's odd and they should expect few kids attending. Kids are on holidays and many have Christmas Eve dinner celebrations.

To each their own. Just refuse the invitation.

PianPianPiano · 04/12/2023 13:04

takealettermsjones · 04/12/2023 11:44

Oh, of course they are unreasonable. Your children should fit in with your traditions no matter what, but now you've got to explain to your child why they can't go to their friend's party. How very unfair of the other parent to put that on you.

So like literally any other situation where your child can't attend a party because their parents have plans already? Hardly 'putting it on you' to have to explain to your child that they can't attend because they already have plans.

Beautiful3 · 04/12/2023 13:05

This happened to me, but on new years day! I didn't fancy driving 24 miles hung over, for a kids birthday party! Apparently it was cancelled because no one could make it. I did think it wad a little silly notnto have moved it, to the Saturday after.

luckylavender · 04/12/2023 13:06

If you have a child born on Christmas Eve, I figure you'd do everything to make it special and different from Christmas.

yikesanotherbooboo · 04/12/2023 13:07

Christmas Eve is a working day usually and a day of preparation as far as I am concerned. If it is the child's birthday ( or very close bearing in mind it is a Saturday this year) it would seem the obvious day on which to hold it. When mine were young I would have been delighted to have the distraction for them. If , of course, you are busy then your child can't attend. I think it is odd that you think there is anything unreasonable about a party being held on 24th though.

Chipsandbeansandcheese · 04/12/2023 13:08

It’s selfish (and attention-seeking) to send an invite like that imo, as it’s likely to cause family arguments and stress between child friends.

Born on Christmas Eve? Don’t be a dick, just have your party a week before.

FML. What an overreaction. For plenty of us Christmas Eve is a normal day, because you know, we have to work.

Stephisaur · 04/12/2023 13:08

It's an invitation, not a summons.

There are 24 hours of Christmas Eve, I fail to see how spending 2 of them at a party (with your child, who is a member of your family) detracts from the rest of the family time.

Mumof2teens79 · 04/12/2023 13:09

I like to spend xmas eve with my family...but christmas eve is a working day (except this year its sunday)
As long as party is earlier in the day it sounds like a useful distraction/activity while you get any last minute stuff done....or go along and have fun, or don't go.

Deathbyfluffy · 04/12/2023 13:09

Think it's odd all you like, but I think it's great - everyone will be in a good mood (well, apart from the OP) and it'll be nice for the kid to see all their friends so close to Christmas.

YABU

swimsong · 04/12/2023 13:10

I've always thought that christmas eve doesn't really start till the evening. Presumably the party is in the daytime?

Namerequired · 04/12/2023 13:11

I think it’s lovely. They get to see all their friends on Christmas Eve, imagine the excitement. The only thing is it would become more about xmas than the child’s birthday.

reluctantbrit · 04/12/2023 13:11

It depends.

If it's a workday, chances are I am working, at least until late lunchtime. A friend often offered to have DD to give DH a couple of hours to run errands in the morning when she was younger.

We would decline an afternoon one as we are Germans and Christmas Eve is when Father Christmas comes when it's dark and delivers the presents.

So each family is different and not everyone is going out/doing big family things or goes to church on Christmas Eve.

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