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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect parents not to have child’s birthday party on Xmas Eve

375 replies

I88l · 04/12/2023 11:33

One of my daughter’s school friends has a birthday party on Xmas Eve.
i think the idea of inviting school kids to a birthday party on Xmas eve is pretty odd, because Xmas Eve should be spent with family.

OP posts:
housethatbuiltme · 04/12/2023 12:15

Funkyslippers · 04/12/2023 12:03

We never felt Christmas eve should be spent with family. We just did whatever we fancied. I'd be happy to send my child to a party then

Yep, its usually for running round like a headless chicken getting random last minute stuff (like looking for that one brand of stuffing your kid eats thats been sold out for weeks or realising you still have 4 presents to wrap but have ran out of sellotape).

We spend the bed time bit together but not set in spending the WHOLE day together.

I agree with PP if your kids are a bit older it would be handy to drop them at a party so you don't have to drag them around doing the boring admin bits or so you can wrap those presents or get them out the loft or prep the food etc...

BashfulClam · 04/12/2023 12:15

Brilliant idea, tire them out so they sleep!

Elphamouche · 04/12/2023 12:16

Something to keep the kids busy for a few hours on Xmas eve before family time in the evening? Perfect!!

If you don’t want your kids to go, don’t send them. But you ABU to say it should be spent with family, we work Xmas eve…!

NorthernAttitude · 04/12/2023 12:16

For the people have disappointing Christmas Eve party memories- you're not alone... summer holiday birthdays are often badly attended because people are away. It's just life?

kitsuneghost · 04/12/2023 12:17

Have you never gone out with friends xmas eve?
We used to all the time
Guess this is no different.

Nanny0gg · 04/12/2023 12:17

KaiserChefs · 04/12/2023 12:02

Because no one will turn up because the vast majority of people have plans or are travelling to their Christmas plans on Christmas eve!

How absolutely tragic for the poor child that their parents were obtuse idiots (like so many who have answered this thread while doing absolutely zero thinking) and booked them a party on Christmas Eve (regardless of when their birthday is). My birthday is Christmas. No one would turn up to a Christmas party. No child should stand in the middle of their party wondering when their friends are coming and no one turns up.

You have to book it when people will actually turn up, it's the only fair thing for the child.

Show quote history

Obtuse?

What a ridiculous comment!

Koalaslippers · 04/12/2023 12:17

Scheduling a birthday party around Christmas is hard. The parents will probably be aware that not everyone will be able to come but are doing the best they can.

haggisaggis · 04/12/2023 12:19

When I was little my mother would hold a children's party in the morning on Christmas Eve with the main purpose of helping other parents by getting their kids out of the house for a couple of hours. Think she did it for 3 - 4 years running. About 30 kids. She must have been nuts!

mindutopia · 04/12/2023 12:19

Practically speaking, it means that people may be unlikely to attend, as many people away or have family visiting, which is a shame for the birthday child. My dc both have birthdays that often fall during a half term. We tend to have their parties a week earlier or later to account for the fact that friends may be away for half term.

That said, it's likely they could find availability for this date and may have wanted to do it when far flung family would be in town. Actually, if one of my dc was invited to a Christmas eve birthday, I'd probably be delighted to attend as would mean I could avoid all of the in-laws who descend on us for Christmas every year which I don't enjoy at all. I'd be happy for an excuse to do something besides listen to them drunkenly drone on about the same things day after day, year after year. 😂

ActDottie · 04/12/2023 12:20

To me Christmas Eve is about spending time with friends and then family the next day.

They can have a party whenever they want… you can always say no… so yes YABU

AnneButNotHathaway · 04/12/2023 12:20

YABU and you don't have to go if you don't want to. Besides, "Xmas Eve should be spent with family" is your perception, not something written in stone. You do you and let others do their thing.

JoyeuxNarwhal · 04/12/2023 12:20

Xmas Eve should be spent exactly as you please Confused

For you, that may be not attending a birthday party. For the child whose birthday it is, it's having a party and inviting their friends.

YireosDodeAver · 04/12/2023 12:20

If the child was born on or close to Christmas Eve then YABU - the child is allowed a birthday party, it's not the child's fault they were born close to Christmas. Anyway it's an invitation not a summons, if you have more important things to do than nurture your children's friendships and be part of these birthday celebrations, then you have every right to choose to do those instead.

NorthernAttitude · 04/12/2023 12:21

haggisaggis · 04/12/2023 12:19

When I was little my mother would hold a children's party in the morning on Christmas Eve with the main purpose of helping other parents by getting their kids out of the house for a couple of hours. Think she did it for 3 - 4 years running. About 30 kids. She must have been nuts!

Wow! What a heroic and kind thing to do ❤️

Houseplanter · 04/12/2023 12:21

Oh please don't turn down the invitation unless you really have to.

A Christmastime birthday is such a damp squib and the child might be desperate for THEIR special day to be special.

IneedsomeSleeppleasenow · 04/12/2023 12:23

My birthday is on Xmas eve and growing up my parents would plan a party with my friends for a week or two early to avoid clashing with the festivities with the hope more people could attend.

housethatbuiltme · 04/12/2023 12:23

Suddenlychrimbo · 04/12/2023 11:56

I've voted YANBU.

I think it's naive and selfish to have a kids birthday party on Xmas Eve, it's a very busy day and many people will have gone to a relatives for Christmas at that point.

It would make sense to have it earlier or later to get the maximum numbers and all the childs friends there

Having it on Christmas Eve is not really fair on the child or guests.

Naive and selfish?

Because YOU have other plans? which this thread proves is not at all that common.

The only selfish person here isn't the one offering to host your child at a free party... check your entitlement.

Thegoodbadandugly · 04/12/2023 12:24

Just don't go.

Mikimoto · 04/12/2023 12:24

KaiserChefs · 04/12/2023 12:02

Because no one will turn up because the vast majority of people have plans or are travelling to their Christmas plans on Christmas eve!

How absolutely tragic for the poor child that their parents were obtuse idiots (like so many who have answered this thread while doing absolutely zero thinking) and booked them a party on Christmas Eve (regardless of when their birthday is). My birthday is Christmas. No one would turn up to a Christmas party. No child should stand in the middle of their party wondering when their friends are coming and no one turns up.

You have to book it when people will actually turn up, it's the only fair thing for the child.

Show quote history

I think not many people have gone to your parties, but for other reasons...

lanthanum · 04/12/2023 12:24

There's probably no good time to have a party at that time of year, and they will just accept that some people won't make it. A lot of people go away the weekend before Christmas to see those they aren't seeing at Christmas, plenty of people will be away over new year. The family of the child may be in the same boat - it might actually be the easiest time for them to fit it in, and if they have visiting family then it might not matter if not many school friends make it.

RampantIvy · 04/12/2023 12:25

i think the idea of inviting school kids to a birthday party on Xmas eve is pretty odd, because Xmas Eve should be spent with family.

Having a party on Christmas Eve isn't odd
Having a party on a Sunday isn't odd.

Having inflexible views on how the family should spend Christmas Eve together is odd.

I feel sorry for the child who will probably get quite a few saying no because it is Christmas Eve.

NancyJoan · 04/12/2023 12:28

Silly to say Christmas Eve should be spent with family (my DD will be at work), but fortunately attendance at a kids' party is optional.

ghostyslovesheets · 04/12/2023 12:30

StephanieSuperpowers · 04/12/2023 11:37

Christmas Eve novelty and excitement that I wouldn't have to provide for a few hours? I'd be delighted to send my child.

Yes this!

Christmas Eve can be loooong and manic with small people- a party is a great time filler and fun

TakeMe2Insanity · 04/12/2023 12:30

Maybe you really feel babies shouldn’t be born on Christmas Eve?

Zanatdy · 04/12/2023 12:30

I’d send my child. I treat Christmas Eve as a normal day - daytime anyway