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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to Just keep DD off school until Xmas now !

150 replies

Ihatemondaymorning · 03/12/2023 19:21

I know they won’t be impressed with my decision but I’m battling the thought of her being stuck in hospital over Xmas of keeping her safe at home 😩

back story - she is complex health needs but cognitively fine.
in the last 5 weeks she had been admitted for RSV followed by Influenza A followed by sepsis.
she has now been home for a week and I haven’t sent her back yet.
I keep putting it off and now I’m just like I will keep her home to avoid an admission before Xmas.
her bloods still have not fully recovered. There is 3 and a bit weeks left of term !
as soon as I’m feeling ready to send her back something pops up like measles outbreak etc
i feel like emailing and just be like she won’t be back until January.
she has a IV central line/ feeding tube etc
our drs would write a letter no issue they would rather her no go back at all 🙈
but the LA / school don’t always agree with the hospitals opinion !

OP posts:
Mynewnameis · 03/12/2023 19:23

What does she want to do?

mynameiscalypso · 03/12/2023 19:23

How old is she?

Hellocatshome · 03/12/2023 19:26

How old is she? If she is old enough to make an informed decision then I think this one is on her.

Naughtytomcat · 03/12/2023 19:30

How old? And what does she think?

AuntMarch · 03/12/2023 19:31

Agree she should have some say if old enough, but I'd me far more inclined to listen to medical professionals than the LA on this one!
An adult would get signed off from work and it couldn't be argued against, it should be the same for children at school!

Original poster
Ihatemondaymorning · 03/12/2023 19:32

Tbf she says stay home but she would always for different reasons 😂😂

OP posts:
Lovedthosechips · 03/12/2023 19:32

Keep the poor bugger off. Medical opinion and your instinct comes first every time.

Stuckinarut123 · 03/12/2023 19:38

100% keep off

EveWinter · 03/12/2023 19:40

When I had sepsis I had six weeks off work and a phased return.

Put your child's health first, not because it is Christmas but it is RSV season and she will need to recuperate properly.

tolerable · 03/12/2023 19:52

Keep her off.

Headshoulderscheeseontoast · 03/12/2023 19:52

It's not worth the risk to send her back in yet imo. Give her some extra time to recover, you wouldn't want her catching something new while she still recovering.

Backtomyoldname · 03/12/2023 19:56

My son, who is on the other side of the teachers’ desk to your daughter was in hospital recently.

He had an infection, suspected appendicitis. Then possible clots in his lungs, downgraded to possible hospital acquired COVID. Turned out to be ‘just’ pneumonia.

I’d be surprised if he’s back before Christmas. And he hasn’t got lines in etc.

Given your daughters potentially serious condition I’d be considering keeping her off. Help her build up her strength.

As a, former, teacher I’d be happy to send work home.

All the best.

SpringerLink · 03/12/2023 19:57

I think we often forget how long an adult would get signed off work if they had been that ill. Keep her at home until January them reassess with your consultant.

The LA can provide home tuition while she's not well enough for school.

Dramatic · 03/12/2023 19:58

Absolutely keep her off. My daughter has just been in hospital with a very nasty infection and she's absolutely wiped out, she has health problems and I'm contemplating whether to send her back or not

Alltheyearround · 03/12/2023 19:59

Agree with PP keep her off. We rush to get back to school/work and it often doesn't do the body any favours.

We need convalescence time.

AuntMarch · 03/12/2023 20:01

Ihatemondaymorning · 03/12/2023 19:32

Tbf she says stay home but she would always for different reasons 😂😂

That would be good enough for me. (I may have let her go in for the social aspect if she desperately wanted to.)

Hankunamatata · 03/12/2023 20:02

She's not long out of hospital for sepsis - I'd def keep her off. Any sensible school would agree. Tell them her bloods have not recovered and medical advice is that she does not attend school until after christmas. Get a letter from healthcare practitioner if needed for the lea

HomiesAlone · 03/12/2023 20:04

Won't she miss all the Christmassy fun if she's Little? However, no judgment if you prefer tk keep her home and home ed. Sounds really tough for her and you. Have a Merry Christmas.

Dowhadiddydiddydum · 03/12/2023 20:04

Unless she was really keen to go to school then I’d keep her home. If she’s had multiple illnesses I’d say. She needs time to fully recuperate before risking picking up another illness.

Milkybarsareonmeeeee · 03/12/2023 20:06

Keep her off and ask for work at home .

curaçao · 03/12/2023 20:06

won't she miss out on a lot of nice christmassy things though, and become isolated from her friendship group?

Crooklodge · 03/12/2023 20:06

To put it into perspective, my perfectly well kids have had the sickness bug for the last 6 Xmas periods, so last year when there was no sign on the last week I decided they weren't going in. 2020 peak brainwashing was the only time they didn't get it since starting school.

Crooklodge · 03/12/2023 20:07

Omg, kindle has autocorrect handwashing for brainwashing 😂i swear this thing fecking hates me.

Precipice · 03/12/2023 20:08

Poor girl! Keep her off. This time of the term, there's very little actual work she'll miss.

EdithWeston · 03/12/2023 20:16

I think a school (unless it has a school nurse on site at all times) would secretly be relieved to not have to take responsibility for a pupil with an IV line and feeding tube in situ. And with a doctor's letter, there should be no administrative difficulty either.

And I think you're absolutely right to keep her out of the germ soup that is the typical classroom.

It might be worth asking about whether they can send some schoolwork for her, and you might find the LA takes an interest of the absence is protracted as they have a duty to arrange education for children who cannot attend school through illness

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