AIBU to Just keep DD off school until Xmas now !

[Ihatemondaymorning]

I know they won’t be impressed with my decision but I’m battling the thought of her being stuck in hospital over Xmas of keeping her safe at home 😩

back story - she is complex health needs but cognitively fine.
in the last 5 weeks she had been admitted for RSV followed by Influenza A followed by sepsis.
she has now been home for a week and I haven’t sent her back yet.
I keep putting it off and now I’m just like I will keep her home to avoid an admission before Xmas.
her bloods still have not fully recovered. There is 3 and a bit weeks left of term !
as soon as I’m feeling ready to send her back something pops up like measles outbreak etc
i feel like emailing and just be like she won’t be back until January.
she has a IV central line/ feeding tube etc
our drs would write a letter no issue they would rather her no go back at all 🙈
but the LA / school don’t always agree with the hospitals opinion !

Exactly . What a silly thing to say. As if Xmas party afternoon at school trumps her health .

my goodness 🙄

I would keep her off especially with her immunity being low. This weather is when there are a lot more bug's going around. See if school can send her work to do.

Keep her home. I don't think a week is long enough to recuperate from a stay in hospital for sepsis.

So she thankfully has 3 hours of 1-1 at home when not attending school.
the central line and feeding tube are normal for her yes I do find because it’s chronic that often we expect her to bounce back and be ready for anything when she is over an illness when in reality an adult or healthy child would need time to get better completely
I mean her school are supportive and not badger me when she is “ sick “ as in more sick than her usual sick but I do get the impression that the la and them want her in school. The issue was raised only the other week by consultant who basically said mum is this worth it anymore but when I suggested this there was a completely negative response by both school/ LA which I do get as it’s weighing up both sides
they are education and consultant is health.

No she isn’t bothered by the festive season at school
it’s really just Christmas carol performance which for sensory issues she wouldn’t participate anyway and Xmas school dinner with Xmas jumpers and she can’t eat a Xmas dinner.

I would do the same YANBU, as someone with similar complex health conditions, she’ll thank you for it later

Oh bless her.
Honestly you seem a lovely caring mum. Do what YOU think is best for her and doesn’t give it a second thought. Hugs to you both

Tbh I think Christmas is actually a bit of a red herring.

Nobody would expect an adult who left hospital after sepsis a week ago to be back at work yet.

You don’t think she’s up to it. Her consultant doesn’t think she’s up to it. That’s it.

Health first! Keep her off

Keep her off, let her rest and recover. She can do some reading. If she feels up to it could do some light school work at home. We have one life.

I would definitely keep her off, I had sepsis when I was 11 and went back to school 5 days after discharge from hospital. For the next 6 weeks I would get home from school, have a 2 hour nap, have my tea and watch a bit of telly then be back in bed by 8pm as I was so knackered from it. In hindsight it was far too early to go back to school and as others have said I wouldn't have been expected back at work that soon.

@Ihatemondaymorning

we break up on the 15th. 2 school weeks.
all the schools around here do.

i would definitely keep her home. Not just because it's almost Christmas, but because she's been unwell enough already with no real time to recover & sending her into school germ soup is sooooo pointless.

I would ask her class teacher to send any work home that she's able to & then work on maths & English. You can do that in fun ways, nice Christmas activities making up the bulk of it with some focussed time on things 10 year olds have in the curriculum that we never had!!

if you can afford it, I'd get some fun activities in as well as streaming Christmas movies etc.

I hope she builds up well & isn't in hospital again this year. Poor kid xx

OP is taking about trying to keep her DD out of hospital, which may happen if she gets another illness before she is fully recovered from her recent bad health. She has 'complex health needs' - it's a bit more than being concerned about her opening her presents on the right day.

I'd keep her at home and get her well. Nothing is more important than her health. She won't learn much if she's feeling sick. I despair at the idea that missing a few weeks of learning will mess up a child's future. If you're able to help support her pick up learning when she's better, then no harm done.

OP literally said stuck in hospital over Xmas in the first line like that is different to any other time

OP literally said stuck in hospital over Xmas in the first line like that is different to any other time

Are you always like this or have you made a special effort for this thread?

Nobody wants their child in fucking hospital.

Because it is!!!

She is 10 ffs... hospital stays are part of her normal life, but doesnt every kid want Xmas at home rather than in hospital? There is a reason why my friends son, when he was being treated for a very aggressive cancer at 15, had xmas day at home. As did all the other inpatients if it could be safely done (this was in NZ but I know that hospitals here try to do it too if they can). Because Xmas IS special.

Are you really thinking "Well she is sick other times of the year, it might happen at Xmas....so what?!" Poor kids is getting over several infections that your GP would sign you off work for for several weeks. Why the hell should she go back to school far quicker than you would go back to work after the same illness whilst AT THE SAME TIME risk ending up back in hospital over Xmas?!

I've just been looking on the Sepsis Trust website

They say it usually takes a few weeks to a few months to recover from sepsis.

So taking 2-3 weeks off school to convalesce seems pretty sensible to me, and then the schools holidays should consolidate it

For goodness sake, dramatic much. She asked an opinion, I gave it.
If DD was in true danger by going back to school she wouldn't be asking a random bunch of strangers on the internet.

It's not about her missing Christmas, it's about adding another illness to her body while she's recovering. It'll just add to more burnout for the poor girl.

Hey, OP!
I don’t think you’re BU provided you do supplement her learning at home.

I was actually just discussing with my partner that I will not be taking ours to nursery/library for the two weeks before Xmas as I don’t want to be sick for the holidays, which is absolutely going to happen!

I had a very bad case of chickenpox when I was eight. I was off school for nearly a month because I was so poorly. I remember the doctor coming to the house and checking it was chickenpox and not smallpox (it was 1973). When I was ten, I had a major operation on my left ear and was in hospital for two weeks. I was off school for nearly half a term in total. It has not made the slightest difference to the rest of my life but it meant that I was able to fully recover at my own pace. I think it is important for your daughter to make a full recovery. The weather is very cold and damp at the moment. This alone will have an adverse effect on her health. When you add all the horrible viruses that are going around at the moment into the mix, it would be foolhardy, in my opinion, to send her back to school. She will recover far more quickly and completely in the warmth of home where she can get adequate rest.

I have a child with complex health needs and if I was you I wouldn't hesitate to keep her off. We face the same issues and our child's health and welfare always comes first. Follow your instincts. x

Keep her off!!

@kitsuneghost

For goodness sake, dramatic much. She asked an opinion, I gave it.

I wasn't being dramatic by pointing out your opinion is shit.