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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To kick dh out after he invited an 18 yr old girl to our house last night and sha""ed her in my bed while I was on a night shift?

188 replies

totaleclipse · 13/03/2008 18:17

Of course he says he only nearly did, but changed his mind at the last minute......yeah yeah whatever!!!!!!

OP posts:
scorpio1 · 13/03/2008 18:44

make sure you take money out of your bank account/s.

digitalgirl · 13/03/2008 18:45

out out out.

You poor thing. Is he likely to put up a fight? I would bag up his stuff put it outside and change the locks as soon as possible.

There will be tough times ahead, but you have got to make a stand.

dizzydixies · 13/03/2008 18:45

agree with Scorpio1 on this, what he has done is unforgivable but maintain a dignified silence re the daft wee lassie that thought she was smart going with a married man, she'll get hers in the end

deal with you and your kids by changing the locks whilst he is away and give yourself time to come to terms with all this

am sorry that such a shitey thing has happened to you, he's an idiot

nappyaddict · 13/03/2008 18:45

not sticking up for him in any way shape or form but don't beat yourself up that it was planned all along. a lot of people do carry around condoms just incase. not that this makes it forgivable but maybe they didn't go the whole way so he is telling the truth in that he changed his mind about shagging her, but just not about doing other stuff?

fairyfly · 13/03/2008 18:46

Oh is feel for you so much, i didn't know if to be sick, or scream when i found out this had happened with the father of my kids. I hate to say it but a long road was ahead of me of all sorts of emotions. Bastards.

FioFio · 13/03/2008 18:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

poshwellies · 13/03/2008 18:47

Carrying condoms when you're married and don't use them normally-"just in case" ?!!!

Lulumama · 13/03/2008 18:48

what sort of married people carry condoms with them? just in case? and doing everything but shagging her is still awful

bogie · 13/03/2008 18:48

I would have killed him by now...
If dp ever did this to me (which i know he wouldn't dare) I would chop his d**k off.

Bag all his stuff up and throw it out and tell him to take it and not show his face again.

Original poster
totaleclipse · 13/03/2008 18:48

I am more concerned about dc, dts idolise him, and ds is ASD so it will effect him quite badly

OP posts:
winniethewino · 13/03/2008 18:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scorpio1 · 13/03/2008 18:49

They can still see him - if you don't want to you can use a contact centre.

You all deserve more respect than this. Imagine if your ds had found them

NAB3wishesfor2008 · 13/03/2008 18:50

Okay, calm down everyone. The post about the DCs has made me post this.

TE - What do you want to do? Would you like to try and work it out or in your heart can you never forgive?

Ledodgy · 13/03/2008 18:50

I think Nappy measnt the condoms could have been the girl's. I'm so sorry you're going through this TE and can't believe he had the cheek to do this in your own home whilst your kids are asleep it's the ultimate betrayal. Keep him out, get practical and emotional advice and stay stong. x

Original poster
totaleclipse · 13/03/2008 18:51

I have no intention of stopping him seeing dc, after all, its not thier fault.

OP posts:
dizzydixies · 13/03/2008 18:51

winnie, we're meant to be the voice of reason her?!?!?!??

its tempting to do ALL of that admittedly and I agree, wasn't taking huge steps to cover it up

git

he'll soon learn when the 18yr old slapper doesn't find him so attractive when he's no longer married and unobtainable - ah the naivety of youth - silly selfish cow and stupid flattered man

Original poster
totaleclipse · 13/03/2008 18:52

I cant trust him again, and refuse to spend the rest of my life worrying what he might be up to, so it has to be the end.

OP posts:
fairyfly · 13/03/2008 18:52

I really would just let yourslef feel what your feeling just now and forget any plans, forget about the kids for a moment, just worry about what your feeling. Plenty of time for decisions.

scorpio1 · 13/03/2008 18:53

Well whatever you decide, TE, i hope you don't ever blame yourself for this.

kiskideesameanoldmother · 13/03/2008 18:53

yanbu. you have been a saint for not being up on manslaughter charges or GBH at the least. I would probably be.

nappyaddict · 13/03/2008 18:54

no, i meant the girl not totaleclipse's dh!!

Original poster
totaleclipse · 13/03/2008 18:55

Thanks for the advice ladies, goiing to try ds in bed now so I can sleep too, I feel like thhe living dead.

OP posts:
Nighbynight · 13/03/2008 19:13

dont know what to say, but much sympathy. It sounds like a horrid situation.

GryffinGirl · 13/03/2008 19:31

WTF??

get the money out of joint accounts and into yours. Take a deep breath and be strong.

Hope you are ok, total.

scottishmummy · 13/03/2008 19:34

dreadful situation

being practical - what do you want to do TotalEclipse?

Are you financially ok?
is the money joint or single accounts?
do you want him to return to the house
can you work through this or is the end
who is there to support you
if you ask dh to leave how will he take it?will he be annoyed but non-confrontational or does he pose any threat to you/children?

Don't do anything rash/impulsive eg chuck out/destroy his belonging's as tempting as it is it only makes look like a head case. ansd it is criminal damamdge. short term buzz for long term hassle

i hope someone cam support you through this terrible mess.none of it your fault

as for the girl she is a daft twinky.stupid enough to fall for married man (who should no better)

hope you get a sleep and some peace to think

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