To feel RAGE against schools lack of care towards working parents?

[Stormy900]

I'm so, so angry!!!!
I'm a working parent.
I'm a nurse, so I can't WFH.
Why oh why oh why do primary schools set ALL their plays and productions during school hours when I, and so many other parents I know, are AT WORK!!!!
WHY don't schools factor this in????
My DC has a Christmas performance coming up and it is really important to him and to me that I'm there, it would fill my heart with absolute joy to see him. But school only informed us of the date 10 days ago. I have requested to take annual leave to attend it, but it has been refused by my manager because there are other colleagues on annual leave that day who have already requested, and I've been told my request is too short notice, but I've only recently been informed of the date by school. I'm absolutely heartbroken to not be able to attend. If I'd been given much more notice, I could have attended.
Also, another issue is HOW LITTLE NOTICE schools give parents about dates for events that parents are invited to. Sports day, parents being invited in to see DC's work and class displays, summer shows, Easter performances, class assemblies where my DC have speaking parts, and of course Christmas events. The school tells us no more than 2 weeks in advance maximum. Why?????
In my job, A/L has to be requested SIX WEEKS in advance because of staff rotas.
And don't get me started on children being given award certificates in assembly each week, which parents are invited to watch and the teachers TELL THE CHILDREN THEIR PARENTS ARE INVITED....they invite parents on the afternoon of THE DAY BEFORE THE CERTIFICATE ASSEMBLY!!!!
On Monday, school sent an email to me at 3pm, which I didn't pick up because I was managing a blood transfusion for a critically ill patient, so I picked it up later that day, as I can't access my emails as soon as they come in if I'm working. The invite was for 9am THE NEXT DAY!!!
There was no way I could attend at this level of short notice, as I was due to be at work the next morning, starting at 7am.
My little DD cried and cried. She said she wanted me there more than anything.
I have missed sooooooo many primary school events for my 2 DC because of horrific short notice from school. If I'd had dates in advance I could have attended them all.
WHY do schools do this???
They MUST KNOW what dates they're going to do events on. I simply refuse to believe they don't. They MUST have to plan their school calendar, activities, shows, performances, awards, in advance.
WHY do they assume all parents are eithet stay at home mothers or are in WFH jobs??
I'm SO angry!!!

It's the title that has wound me up. Schools lack of care for working parents. Schools are their to educate and care for the children during school hours, they are not there to provide evening entertainment for parents.

Exactly.

I love the children I teach but they're not my children. And I love my job but it's only my job and not my whole life.

I have friends, hobbies, a family and others things I want to do in the evening.

I remember being at school and being really surprised when I saw teachers out or realised they had children because I assumed they lived at school and didn't have any other life. It seems like some people didn't ever realise otherwise!

Yes. Besides which a large proportion of teachers and others working in school are working parents themselves and are well aware of the problems. The only valid issue in the OP is the lack of notice (assuming she hasn't just lost the letter given out at the beginning of term).

Because it's working hours for school staff!!
You want them all to work for free to accommodate you??

I do understand your frustration, however I hated evening school shows/concerts etc - I had no desire to take my child home and have to take then back to school again 3 hours later, tired and uninterested in a play/show they already had done/would be doing again 3 days in a row. I don't think it's very kind to expect teachers to do that either.

Can we have one thread where someone doesn't bring how bad teachers have it.

Can we have at least one day on MN where teachers aren’t bashed?

No one is bashing teachers

Some are expecting them to work extra (unpaid) hours - it's not bashing but it's also expecting a bit much too imho.

Of course some are- they're suggesting they don't do enough unpaid work in their own time and they should be. That they don't consider many parents work (when they work themselves so of course they do- many also have children). Bashing doesn't have to just be outright saying how much they suck but by insinuating they should be doing x, y and z outwith their role and because they don't it's shite.

Surely that poster is just saying that teachers are in the same boat (as are many other people) and the OP doesn't have a monopoly on being affected by school opening hours or having a job where they can't just take a couple of hours out of the day.

No one is expecting other professions to willingly give up entire evenings to work for no pay but because this involves people's children it seems to be expected.

And where it also seems to be considered to be done deliberately to inconvenience parents through a lack of care.

NoCloudsAllowed was pointing out how this situation is EXACTLY THE SAME for teachers as for the OP. Not that teachers have it worse, or even bad. Just the same.

@Winterday1991 No, we can't have that and we don't have it here either. People are just pointing out that it is the same for teachers, who normally can't just take time out to go to events at their own children's schools.

OP and others like her tend not to think of that, only how it affects them. Noticeably, OP has not returned to the thread since having this pointed out.

It's just the truth. Teachers can't take a day off work to see a child in a play. The OP suggested teachers had no experience of the problems of working parents and that isn't true.

Seriously, it never fails to annoy me that when a teacher explains their situation and says it's similar to another job or they are in the same boat they are accused of making out their job is harder than anyone else's.

But anyone who works for the public sector should devote their lives to serving others, we pay their wages afterall xoxo

Sarcasm by the way, I get the same as a nurse if you dare complain about anything you're accused of all sorts!

That's what happens when you choose a traditionally female job, especially when you work with children. Some parents genuinely think it's a privilege for you to spend time with their little darlings and don't understand why you might prefer to do something else in your spare time.

As the child of teachers, I'm very much aware of this. I still think it would be nice for schools to give a bit more notice of dates for things that may be important to children, like plays and sports days.

Also for costume days and school trips. "Please send your child in fancy dress tomorrow" is not a fun email to receive at 10pm after a 14 hour shift.

A decent school should be trying to accommodate releasing staff for an hour and a half/2 hrs to see their own children's nativities/leavers' assemblies. Mine asks that staff get their requested dates and times in in advance so that staff can try to cover each other's classes. Or they swap PPA schedules. Or the deputy head or head will cover for a while.

Surely that wouldn't work in a big secondary school though? Many of my colleagues have primary-aged children. My school is very much a decent school, but I really don't think they'd be able to deal with the cover implications of lots of staff taking 2 hours off for nativities!

Can we have one thread where someone doesn't bring how bad teachers have it.

Yes, we can - for example all the threads on MN that aren't related to teachers' working hours. This one is.

I feel your pain op, I'm also a nurse and I'm in the exact same position. It's heartbreaking and so frustrating. There is a Christmas play /sports day /awards assembly etc every single year why can't they just set the dates in advance like they for half terms and inset days?

I've missed so much purely because of short notice and not being able to get the time off

Child of two teachers here too so I grew up with them, though never became one myself. It means I have seen both sides here, but on balance I think that people do forget that teachers are real people with real families, doing a job with its own core hours. Expected to work overtime for free and at the expense of time with their own children.

My mother was teaching part time for a couple of years when my sister and I were very small. At that point she was also searching for another full time role following a house move. That was the only reason she could come to the occasional school event of mine, and not very many at that because no matter how much notice was given, if she was to be working that day then it wasn't possible.

I agree that schools could often give better notice of major events, though many do now put them up on their websites well in advance and just flesh out the details/ sell tickets nearer to the time.

Dressing up days (always at shortish notice) were a total pain in the arse when my children were at primary school, and thankfully disappeared for good once they had transferred to secondary school. I hated those and certainly don't remember them happening when I was at primary in the early seventies. My parents certainly would also have seen them as unnecessary hassle too. Up

Schools should definitely give more notice where possible. Sometimes, for various reasons, more than a few weeks notice isn't possible. And the reason they are during the day is because that's when schools are open. Same as GPs not offering non emergency appts on a Sunday, or at 8pm. They operate within their own working hours.

But as a teacher myself with young kids I find some of the replies slightly hyperbolic. Devastated/infuriated/horrified at missing class assemblies/sports days etc? Really? I generally can't ask for time off for that kind of thing and DH has a job that is slightly more flexible but not much. So we tend not to go for stuff like that and just explain to the kids "sorry mummy and daddy are working". No grandparents to send either but if I have a friend who is going for their kid then I'll ask them to take a quick pic if possible. If not then I just say I'll get the teacher to tell me how well they did. It really doesn't have to be the end of the world and it gets easier!

That's exactly what it is!

Their child is the most important operson in their life and should be the most important person in mine too.

Well, they're not.

Can we have a thread where wombles like you give over on the teacher bashing?