Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

No food

218 replies

cherrychapstickk · 01/12/2023 18:07

hello,

As the title says really.

My 2 and 3 year old have been taken out for the afternoon by their aunt and uncle.

They ended up having them for around 4 and a half hours, I expected around 2 but they said they got carried away.

Once they'd left 3 year old burst into tears saying she was hungry (they normally have dinner at around 5) and it turns out (i checked with auntie) they've not eaten with them at all.

Had I known they were going to be 4 hours I'd of packed some food but as I didn't know and they got carried away, am I unreasonable for thinking its quite harsh not to offer your young nieces any food?

I cannot imagine having any of their children, especially at such a young age, for that duration of time and covering dinner time and not offering anything to eat whatsoever.

OP posts:
Calliopespa · 01/12/2023 21:05

Penaeus · 01/12/2023 20:54

Is "pilling" related to "fumming"?

It seems to have a similar etymology. Anyway, I don’t think anyone was “pilling “ on @ cherrychapstixx were they? It was the allegations of “neglect” that were attracting pushback.

gotomomo · 01/12/2023 21:06

1.45-5.45 isn't that long, certainly not tears level. I don't get the snacking culture myself, it wasn't as much a thing when mine were young

Bellyblueboy · 01/12/2023 21:07

This thread is bonkers.

I don’t have children but always have snacks ready for my nieces and nephews. This long I would have snacks in my bag and I would make food when they come home.

the adults should of course have provided snacks and food to such small children

Calliopespa · 01/12/2023 21:08

mantyzer · 01/12/2023 21:03

@ImustLearn2Cook that article is absolute rubbish. You only have to look at the fact that lots of different cultures do it very differently.

It may not be absolute rubbish but it certainly is no blanket authority. The wording itself says “most “ children not all. And I notice the upcoming section on how snacks cause problems was not included. The word neglect was overkill, that’s the point posters are making.

Rightsraptor · 01/12/2023 21:09

Who on earth are all you people here saying it's reasonable for little children of that age to go without food for that period of time? It is absolutely not OK.

They may not recognise their feeling as hunger so might not even know to ask for food.

All I can suggest, op, is that you take it on board and send them off with food or really ensure that a snack or meal is planned.

gotomomo · 01/12/2023 21:09

I'd add that my kids uncles (my brothers) would know not to give snacks because it ruins their appetites. We always ate at 6.30pm

Bellyblueboy · 01/12/2023 21:10

And snacks don’t have to be unhealthy. Grapes, cheese, crackers, yoghurt, veg sticks. But most very small children are used to eating regularly.

DisforDarkChocolate · 01/12/2023 21:10

I can't imagine doing this, little ones need little and often. I can't imagine keeping children that small longer than expected either.

boohooloo · 01/12/2023 21:15

Did you send them with their water bottles? Assuming they've been drinking, they may have been having so much fun they didn't ask or want snacks.

Lookingatthesunset · 01/12/2023 21:16

They won't die of malnutrition.

Next time, set out your expectations.

Calliopespa · 01/12/2023 21:17

Lookingatthesunset · 01/12/2023 21:16

They won't die of malnutrition.

Next time, set out your expectations.

In fairness OP hadn’t expected it to be so long. But as you say, they will be fine.

Lookingatthesunset · 01/12/2023 21:20

Calliopespa · 01/12/2023 21:17

In fairness OP hadn’t expected it to be so long. But as you say, they will be fine.

Show quote history

It's done - it's over. Maybe OP didn't expect it to be so long but next time she needs to tell them when the kids need to eat.

However, there are too many children in the world who don't get to eat when they need to. Which is why I could never make this a big deal.

Calliopespa · 01/12/2023 21:22

Lookingatthesunset · 01/12/2023 21:20

It's done - it's over. Maybe OP didn't expect it to be so long but next time she needs to tell them when the kids need to eat.

However, there are too many children in the world who don't get to eat when they need to. Which is why I could never make this a big deal.

Show quote history

Exactly.

2jacqi · 01/12/2023 21:25

@cherrychapstickk Heavens, my daughter had a soft toy called "feed me"!!!!!!!! that is all they do! a constant round of drinks and food which goes in one end and straight out the other all day long! what was auntie thinking!! wouldnt trust her to take the kids out again!

LuckySantangelo35 · 01/12/2023 21:32

megletthesecond · 01/12/2023 18:54

They should have given them some snacks. Especially as it's cold. I'd have snacked in that time too.
At least you'll know if they take them out again and can send them with food.

@megletthesecond

what’s the cold got to do with needing more snacks?!

Katbum · 01/12/2023 21:33

When people watch my kids I tell them 'X will need to eat something at X time.' If they have them longer than agreed I'd probably send a text 'X will need food soon, so could you buy a bag of wotsits (or whatever) and offer her some?'. I get you being annoyed, but also get the aunt and uncle not thinking that they'd need to eat if they had lunch and were coming home for tea.

LuckySantangelo35 · 01/12/2023 21:33

2jacqi · 01/12/2023 21:25

@cherrychapstickk Heavens, my daughter had a soft toy called "feed me"!!!!!!!! that is all they do! a constant round of drinks and food which goes in one end and straight out the other all day long! what was auntie thinking!! wouldnt trust her to take the kids out again!

@2jacqi

i don’t think all kids are like that.

billy1966 · 01/12/2023 21:41

Very small children have very small stomachs and they need filling regularly, particularly if they are out and about.

That was a long time without food.
Lesson learned.
Those little backpacks are great to have for that very reason. So easy to fill with bits to snack on whenever they are heading out with you or others.

Glad its sorted.

Calliopespa · 01/12/2023 21:41

LuckySantangelo35 · 01/12/2023 21:33

@2jacqi

i don’t think all kids are like that.

Show quote history

No they aren’t. Just as some babies sleep through the night, some don’t etc. I think the aunt and uncle just didn’t have that experience.

Calliopespa · 01/12/2023 21:43

LuckySantangelo35 · 01/12/2023 21:32

@megletthesecond

what’s the cold got to do with needing more snacks?!

Show quote history

I think because food warms you and you burn energy trying to stay warm.

billy1966 · 01/12/2023 21:47

We burn more calories in cold weather particularly if you are out and about walking etc..

My children would eat far more in winter than summer.

My daughters in particular.
They won't eat dinners during the summer.

Wraps, toast, burritos, home made burgers, the odd pizza.
Unless it really is yummy home made junk food, they have zero appetite in the heat.
Very different in the school months.

FrostieBoabby · 01/12/2023 21:52

Guessing they will be about 15-20 years older than you when snacks weren't really a thing? Aunt and Uncle probably didn't want to spoil their appetite. Did they get a drink though as that's too long without fluids of some sort?

StarvingMarvin222 · 01/12/2023 22:03

I know you've updated @cherrychapstickk but I he onus is on the adults to ask the kids do they need food.
Not a 2 and 3 year old.
Plus who goes to a Christmas market and doesn't buy a snack.

MixedCouple · 01/12/2023 22:10

Now I am a Mum in relaise how important is to feed these gremlins. So yes they should have offered food. Snack plate at least! They can't be expected go from Lunch - dinner with nothing.
My LO has 2 snack a day between breakfast and lunch anf then lunch and dinner. I do a plate of fruits, crackers, cheese, a little treat (kiddilicious) and some veggie sticks. He devours it!

Someone who is a parent should know that. Buuuuut saying that I always pack a small snack bag for my LO if OH or parents are taking them for some time. Just to avoid them being burdened to provide.

My niece and nephew came over in the summer and I made sure they had healthy snacks at the same time as my LO. Common sense.

betterangels · 01/12/2023 22:17

Plus who goes to a Christmas market and doesn't buy a snack.

People who don't have a lot of money, for instance? Actually, I think that if a parent wants to make sure that their children have snacks, they should provide them. As I said above, I would have bought something, but it (evidently) can't be expected.