No food

[cherrychapstickk]

hello,

As the title says really.

My 2 and 3 year old have been taken out for the afternoon by their aunt and uncle.

They ended up having them for around 4 and a half hours, I expected around 2 but they said they got carried away.

Once they'd left 3 year old burst into tears saying she was hungry (they normally have dinner at around 5) and it turns out (i checked with auntie) they've not eaten with them at all.

Had I known they were going to be 4 hours I'd of packed some food but as I didn't know and they got carried away, am I unreasonable for thinking its quite harsh not to offer your young nieces any food?

I cannot imagine having any of their children, especially at such a young age, for that duration of time and covering dinner time and not offering anything to eat whatsoever.

Yep, I would have made sure they were given a drink and something around 3.30/4pm (probably something totally unsuitable like hot chocolate and donuts) but that’s a long time without something.

I'd have thought that children could manage for 4 hours without a snack, personally. But I wasn't one for constant feeding when my DC were little - they ate when we did.

I'd have asked if they were hungry but only because I've been a nanny. Me and my DH don't have children. I don't think it would occur to him that children might get hungry between lunch and dinner.

My 3 year old wouldn't need to eat in that time frame assuming they'd had a good lunch. We've never given him snacks so he's not used to eating between meals. I would expect them to have been offered a drink though.

Your rude response is complete wrong - this was in reply to another poster…meaning they’d had no food at all, which means no snacks aswell not just no meals.

I have a 3yo and wouldn’t have fed mine between those times, maybe a drink or a donut at the market? But my children eat at 6pm so I wouldn’t have thought they needed anything till they got home.

They do have kids.

If Auntie and Uncle want to volunteer to look after toddlers and are really this daft and unaware when the OP might rightly assume them to be sensible adults, then they are at fault. They HBVU, you OP are not. It's normal to offer adults a drink or snack during a 4 hour activity or visit let alone a small child!!

They also shouldn't have kept them for 4 hours when it was meant to have been about 2, it's not the OP's fault that OP didn't send along a kit bag of drinks and snacks due to this. My sibling was 15 when my child was born, they would've been able to work out that snacks and drinks needed to be offered and would've knows what was appropriate or (key point) would've had the gumption to ask me, or ask someone else with more experience, before or during. I seriously despair, how do some people function in the world?

Honestly, I have friends with children 3/4 years older and they have forgotten what it's like at this age, just like I can barely remember how to care for a newborn. E.g reminding them grapes need to be quartered etc. Don't be too hard on them.

if i took someone's young children out, I would absolutely buy them snacks along the way, or sandwiches and a drink. I don't understand posters saying if they didn't have children they wouldn't have known to feed them. Even adults get hungry in that time frame, never mind children. It's just common sense!

Honestly, I have friends with children 3/4 years older and they have forgotten what it's like at this age, just like I can barely remember how to care for a newborn. E.g reminding them grapes need to be quartered etc. Don't be too hard on them.

Yes be hard on them, they have their own children FGS. Did they likewise ask them if they needed the toilet, check if they were warm enough? They sound like idiots.

I find people like this bizarre. Fortunately, I haven't forgotten about small children now mine are grown up and my parents hadn't forgotten when they became grandparents and it's not even as though have been lots of nieces, nephews and cousins to practice on in the meantime as there haven't. Yes, styles of care vary and the done thing can change, but fundamentals are fundamentals. It's common decency to ask your guests, small or otherwise, the basic questions of comfort and safety! Isn't it?

Four hours is a long time for any activity with children that age. And yes I'd expect them to be offered a snack. Was there any communication between you and them while they were out? I expect your child is tired as much as hungry.

I think YABU to be annoyed.
At that time I wouldn't have expected the dc to need a meal (but would have messaged what time we were going to be back so you could get something ready).
And I'd assume that if you wanted them to have snacks you'd have given them something in their bag.

None of my 4 would have needed a snack in that timeframe. If that’s what is normal for your dc I can see why they’d be hungry, but it isn’t what’s normal for all children/ families so it’s unrealistic to assume that everyone should know when to feed your children, whether they have their own dc or not.

My brother and sister in law don't have kids, and it wouldn't occur to them to feed a child at that time. They would, however, have bought sweets, chocolate, and all kinds of crap so no one would have gone hungry

I don't have kids but I would have asked my sister

WhatsApp time do they need feeding. What are they allowed to eat
Confirmed our return time and would not dream of extending that without any further contact.

Not feeding such young children during this time out shows an astounding level of ignorance and a lack of empathy. I’ve had this before when some older relatives have forgotten how young kids only have little tummies but it’s usually only the selfish ones who have done this, because they don’t think about other people. Some kids won’t feel confident asking for food especially if they’re not that close to the aunty or uncle.

i wouldn’t leave them again in their care if I could help it, or if you do make sure you pack plenty of food and water.

Really awful on their part.

Never mind the length of time, I'm surprised at Xmas market they didn't buy a wee treat for them, sound stingy to me.

So after lunch and before dinner 🤷🏻‍♀️

My children would have had lunch at 1, and dinner at 6, and I wouldn't have offered another meal or snack in between, unless they'd asked, which would be unusual. They'd obviously have had drinks though.

TBH, if I was taking kids home for 5.45, I'd think I was taking them home in time for dinner (although I'd probably aim more for 5.15-5.30). If they had an especially early dinner routine, or needed constant snacks, then I'd expect the parent to tell me that.

Until school aged, after they no longer needed a diaper bag, my kids each had a little bag that we packed with a change of clothes, their travel cup, snacks, an activity book and colored pencils. Every time they went anywhere with anyone, they took their bag. This way they could help themselves to drink/snacks as needed and if someone had a potty accident, got sick or spilled something on their clothes, they would have something clean to wear.

They’ll survive. No one needs constant snacks & food.

I don't think the Auntie and Uncle did anything wrong to be honest. If they don't have small children anymore then thoughts of an afternoon snack will probably not be at the forefront of their minds. They probably didn't think of food as a problem as they picked up after lunch and dropped back before dinner. I would however have expected them to offer a drink.

I would personally feel that the snack arrangements were my responsibility. I understand they were only meant to be gone for a couple of hours, but if they left at 1.15 surely this would still cover snack time assuming 3ish? So I would have sent a snack just in case.

My parents have my one year old a couple of afternoons a week and I always remind them she will need her afternoon snack as otherwise it just isn't on their minds.

We’re a bit unusual in that DS doesn’t really snack - it’s a habit from when he had a very poor appetite and snacks would ruin meals - so him not eating in that timescale is fairly standard and as others have said they will have made the lunch / dinner assumption. But still, are people actually blaming the toddlers for not ‘speaking up’ ?

I just had a chat with their auntie now, not a horrible conversation at all, she actually mentioned it! said my god I'm so sorry we picked up some pie from the market and must of got distracted by other family members, I've just seen it sitting on the table!

so no harshness on her behalf, no kicking off on mine!

all sorted, just a genuine unfortunate over sight.

also poster who said 3 year old probably tired, also correct. Both were knackered!