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AIBU?

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Original poster

No food

218 replies

cherrychapstickk · 01/12/2023 18:07

hello,

As the title says really.

My 2 and 3 year old have been taken out for the afternoon by their aunt and uncle.

They ended up having them for around 4 and a half hours, I expected around 2 but they said they got carried away.

Once they'd left 3 year old burst into tears saying she was hungry (they normally have dinner at around 5) and it turns out (i checked with auntie) they've not eaten with them at all.

Had I known they were going to be 4 hours I'd of packed some food but as I didn't know and they got carried away, am I unreasonable for thinking its quite harsh not to offer your young nieces any food?

I cannot imagine having any of their children, especially at such a young age, for that duration of time and covering dinner time and not offering anything to eat whatsoever.

OP posts:
Wednesdaysotherchild · 01/12/2023 18:46

I wouldn’t know that kids need feeding in that timescale tbh!

AhBiscuits · 01/12/2023 18:46

My kids would 100% ask for food if they were hungry. Did yours?

WhateverMate · 01/12/2023 18:47

cherrychapstickk · 01/12/2023 18:13

around 1.15ish to 5.45, nowhere major, just a wander around to look at some Christmas lights and then back to their house for a bit as they had some other family members popping in

So after lunch till just before dinner then?

I wouldn't have had a problem with that especially with verbal DC.

CavalierApproach · 01/12/2023 18:47

I doubt it was intentional harshness unless you’ve some other reason to think so. Far more likely it didn’t occur to them.

Mrgrinch · 01/12/2023 18:48

Should they have probably at least given snacks? Yes.

Have the kids suffered any lasting damage? No.

Sounds like they got carried away having a good time. Definitely not something I'd kick off about.

themusingsofaninsomniac · 01/12/2023 18:49

Wednesdaysotherchild · 01/12/2023 18:46

I wouldn’t know that kids need feeding in that timescale tbh!

This for me too!

No kids myself but I'd assume they were returning for dinner back at home around 6ish which seems perfectly reasonable.

also if it's an aunt and uncle wouldn't they say? I probably wouldn't have as I was a very shy kid too. But I think definitely focus on the 4 hours of freedom and less on the oversight about dinner. It wasn't intentional on their part - they are probably like me and think 5:45 is incredibly early, maybe they fed their own kids at around 7pm when they were that age? Everyone does things differently?

Nearlyadoctor · 01/12/2023 18:49

In their defence they may have thought about it mid/late afternoon and decided against it so as not to spoil their tea. Damned if they did , damned if they didn’t type scenario

Haydenn · 01/12/2023 18:49

sounds like they were out between meal times and got carried away having a good time. I think you are being a bit precious.

If you were my sibling every time I saw the kids in future I’d fill them with sugary snacks, just to be on the safe side

Original poster
cherrychapstickk · 01/12/2023 18:50

no snacks, I said no food not no meals.

I wasn't expecting meals, was just a bit surprised they'd had nothing in 4.5/5 hours, especially as they'd been walking around the markets/lights for a while.

I dunno, I don't think they've done it deliberately but just seems a bit of a while for such young kids to go with nothing and not something I'd do but it looks like I'm in the minority there which is fine :)

OP posts:
WhateverMate · 01/12/2023 18:50

Nearlyadoctor · 01/12/2023 18:49

In their defence they may have thought about it mid/late afternoon and decided against it so as not to spoil their tea. Damned if they did , damned if they didn’t type scenario

Exactly. Look how many parents would be annoyed if the kids didn't eat their dinner because they'd been snacking.

Livelovebehappy · 01/12/2023 18:51

Moonshine5 · 01/12/2023 18:39

Personally I think that's outrageous but that's just me. I wouldn't dream of not giving children refreshments over a 4 hour period. Nothing to do with being a parent.

Give over…. Op hasn’t said they didn’t get a drink. It’s such a minefield these days doing a good deed and taken young children out. I guess they might not have fed them because there are so many rules from parents these days - absolutely no fast food, so McDonald’s would probably have OP coming on here complaining about that. Some have allergies, or only like certain foods, or like crusts off sandwiches, or have their food presented a certain way, or absolutely have to have at least a couple of sprigs of veg with their meal. Nightmare.

LakeTiticaca · 01/12/2023 18:52

Age 2 and 3 I would offer them a snack mid afternoon, some fruit and/or crisps, biscuits. It's not a mega long time to go without food but little ones need refuelling more often than adults, in my experience 😉

caringcarer · 01/12/2023 18:52

Kids can go without food for 4 hours. It won't hurt them. If they had felt really hungry they'd have asked for food.

KThnxBye · 01/12/2023 18:52

I wouldn’t generally consider feeding them between those times. Obviously if they asked theyd be welcome to eat something. But we’d regularly go out for eg a full day with a lunchtime picnic with kids that age and wouldn’t make any other stops until dinner at home.

GreyhpundGirl · 01/12/2023 18:53

I have a 3 year old. If someone was taking her out for the afternoon I'd either provide a snack bag or tell them what sort of things they could have mid afternoon. It sounds like you didn't communicate and they didn't know to. Hardly their fault if they don't have kids that age.

Original poster
cherrychapstickk · 01/12/2023 18:53

oh I am not fussy about what they eat at all lol - I love a mcdonalds!

maybe harsh is the wrong word - just a bit forgetful then, I was just a bit surprised that's all.

Also, I don't use them for childcare (I feel there is going to be an ungrateful element coming my way at some point) they asked if they could take them this afternoon as their own kids are not interested in all the Christmas "magic" if you like anymore

OP posts:
megletthesecond · 01/12/2023 18:54

They should have given them some snacks. Especially as it's cold. I'd have snacked in that time too.
At least you'll know if they take them out again and can send them with food.

paintingvenice · 01/12/2023 18:54

cherrychapstickk · 01/12/2023 18:50

no snacks, I said no food not no meals.

I wasn't expecting meals, was just a bit surprised they'd had nothing in 4.5/5 hours, especially as they'd been walking around the markets/lights for a while.

I dunno, I don't think they've done it deliberately but just seems a bit of a while for such young kids to go with nothing and not something I'd do but it looks like I'm in the minority there which is fine :)

Hang on. You told them No food, and then your annoyed because the gave no food???

hate to break it to you most meals contain food?

Original poster
cherrychapstickk · 01/12/2023 18:55

GreyhpundGirl · 01/12/2023 18:53

I have a 3 year old. If someone was taking her out for the afternoon I'd either provide a snack bag or tell them what sort of things they could have mid afternoon. It sounds like you didn't communicate and they didn't know to. Hardly their fault if they don't have kids that age.

their kids weren't this age that long ago...

I've also explained that I thought it was going to be about 2 hours. not 4.5/5 that it did end up being but fair enough

OP posts:
Original poster
cherrychapstickk · 01/12/2023 18:57

paintingvenice · 01/12/2023 18:54

Hang on. You told them No food, and then your annoyed because the gave no food???

hate to break it to you most meals contain food?

Show quote history

ffs

that is because some people have misinterpreted "no food" from my OP to mean "no meals" and that they've been given snacks. I was just saying no snacks either, I said no food not no meals.

thanks for the education point there though. I may have a 2 and 3 year old but thankfully the brain hasn't quite declined that much yet

OP posts:
andHelenknowsimmiserablenow · 01/12/2023 18:57

To be fair they had them between lunch and dinner so they may just have not wanted your DC to spoil their dinner by having snacks.
Your DC must be incredibly polite! A lot of kids wouldn't hold back just asking / nagging the adults they were with for food if they were hungry.

ManchesterGirl2 · 01/12/2023 18:58

I can see how it happened - for an adult 6 or 7pm is dinnertime. Seems like oversight rather than malice. If they taking them out again, I'd give a gentle reminder about when meal/snack times are and what foods are okay.

IsItOverYetAndCanIComeOutNow · 01/12/2023 18:59

cherrychapstickk · 01/12/2023 18:57

ffs

that is because some people have misinterpreted "no food" from my OP to mean "no meals" and that they've been given snacks. I was just saying no snacks either, I said no food not no meals.

thanks for the education point there though. I may have a 2 and 3 year old but thankfully the brain hasn't quite declined that much yet

Show quote history

But surely you can see where the confusion might lie?

Original poster
cherrychapstickk · 01/12/2023 18:59

My two are very shy.

I think I will have a chat with them and say they really must ask if they're hungry, auntie and uncle won't mind

thanks for thoughts though, I wasn't planning on kicking off about it, I have just been in a cycle of days planned around food and naps now that you can forget others don't live like this 😂

OP posts:
thebestinterest · 01/12/2023 19:00

Yaiks! How could they not offer them something to eat!???? Did they offer water at least? That’s ridiculous that because they don’t have kids they didn’t think to. They are children!