Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do you find this offensive like I do and would you comment on it?

287 replies

Sunandnomoon · 29/11/2023 14:26

Shared by an elderly friend of my mum’s on Facebook. I find it offensive but I’m debating whether it’s worth the hassle of saying so.

It’s certainly not kind, it’s condescending and misogynistic. I’ve known her my whole life and I’ve never seen her be unkind before, actually she did my mum a great kindness many years ago, so I’m not looking to be confrontational or mean.

I just think shit like this being unchallenged makes the world a little bit worse off every day.

OP posts:
beforethecoffeegetscold · 29/11/2023 15:35

Bemyclementine · 29/11/2023 14:39

How does she feel about women from other religions covering up?

This is often the irony.

KatBurglar · 29/11/2023 15:37

What a sexist pile of claptrap. I'd either say that to her, or just the eyeroll emoji if I couldn't be arsed.

Raffington55 · 29/11/2023 15:38

I'd leave it. The post is just bizarre!!!! I
Jewels, wares on show, mining companies! Talk about warbling on about a load of crap to make even more shite a point !

Shareiscare · 29/11/2023 15:40

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Sunandnomoon · 29/11/2023 15:42

No-one has commented or liked it so far. I’ve seen photos of her wearing mini skirts when she was younger as someone else suggested. I’d love to add a cheeky comment along the lines of ‘I didn’t know you’d joined the taliban’ but I think it’d go over her head.

I’ll just leave it. I don’t see her often face to face and I’m not going to bring up a Facebook post from months ago.

Social media does open your eyes to what the people around you truly think. I did comment and challenge someone else I know last year when she suggested a local stabbing was carried out by refugees who’d moved to the town despite no-one else saying this and it not being the truth. And I’m so sick of seeing those foolish ‘stop giving our money to refugees and give it to army veterans instead’ posts.

OP posts:
EasternStandard · 29/11/2023 15:43

Just leave it. It’s barmy and I only read a few lines

HeraSyndulla · 29/11/2023 15:45

No, I don't find it offensive.

MissHoollie · 29/11/2023 15:45

My mum once shared something that I and lots of people found offence
In my mum's case her understanding has decreased as she's got older and I felt sorry that she hadn't understood the full meaning .
Maybe this is the case here too

NaughtyBoyGeorgeMichaelJacksonBrown · 29/11/2023 15:46

Oof, I haven't been mined for a while.

Women in any clothes cannot be compared to objects because WHATEVER they are wearing, everyone knows what is under there. You can't lock your tits away like you'd hide your purse in the glove compartment, you can't leave your fanny at home like you might do with a fancy watch or wad of cash and you can't bury your arse underground for a government approved company to mine. Our bodies are always with us, whether they are covered or not and wearing loose garments does not screen out bad men: they know what is under there anyway.

5YearsLeft · 29/11/2023 15:47

MelsMoneyTree · 29/11/2023 15:21

It's funny how often people want to challenge 'old women' about posts like this but not sexist young men when by my reckoning there are a shit tonne more of the latter on social media than the former.
If you must shout at someone for being sexist on the internet, why not go for Andrew Tate? At least then lots of other sexist arses will see your arguments too.

I have to agree. There are a few people saying that she’s “a product of her generation.” I just don’t believe that - my grandmother, who raised me, was born in 1926 and she couldn’t have been more the opposite. She never told me this shite, and none of her friends would have agreed with it either. She was never racist either, so I never listen to “product of their generation” excuses for that either. I see a lot of people are saying they quit Facebook, and I’m another, but I quit when I lived in America for a while - it seemed like every city everywhere, no matter how “easy-going” according to other Americans, would have several of these mega-churches.

You might not know these people were part of such a church. They would seem nice, seem to have the right values, feed the homeless, give a shite about others, and then you suddenly discover on their Facebook, they’d have bollocks like this, or their opinion of homosexuality would be, “Oh, I hate the sin, not the sinner.” (You fucking what???) But yes, of course, my very favorite were not “old” misogynistic women; I didn’t even run into many older women secretly filled with hate that often. It was, in fact, more middle-aged misogynistic women who would be incredibly into supporting abstinence before marriage and outlawing abortion… almost ALWAYS because they’d had an abortion themselves and they “so deeply regretted it” even though having a child at 15-16 would have ruined their lives (since now they had nice husbands and nice houses and teenage children of their own). It’s all just complete madness.

Anyway, I’ve never gotten back on Facebook, and I’m sad to see that if I did, I’d see these posts on this side of the Atlantic now, too. Or maybe it’s been here just as long. All they’re doing is adding God into the saying about the cow and the free milk; and only arseholes said that to begin with. Sigh.

Butsheisnot · 29/11/2023 15:47

Has she given any context to why she shared it? Ie a comment like 'totally agree!'

I know a couple of older people who would either hit share by mistake and not realise or would post something like this as a commentary on how things used to be - and not realising it comes across as if they agree. I'm not being ageist - for me the 2 people who these scenarios could easily apply to are both 70+.

Anyway. Just a different suggestion that she may not have shared it because it's her view. If she did, it's a really really odd and outdated post. Depends on the type of relationship you have as to whether I'd address or not though.

MrsMarzetti · 29/11/2023 15:49

User13579367337 · 29/11/2023 14:34

Why even give things like this any headspace? You can’t argue with stupid.

So the elderly lady is stupid for holding views that going out showing a great amount of flesh means you don't value yourself highly enough ? They are her views and were from a time that it was socially unacceptable to go out without a lot on. Maybe she doesn't agree with your views just as you don't agree with hers and maybe the time you get to her age your views will be seen as outdated and you will be classed as stupid. Do you class everyone that hold an alternative view to your stupid or just those who are elderly? Because of it is the latter, that makes you ageist.

LameyJoliver · 29/11/2023 15:49

I mean, yes, it is offensive American crap, but I'm more likely to comment on posts like HOMELESS VETRUNS B4 ILLEGALS to be honest

itsmyp4rty · 29/11/2023 15:50

I don't call out people's ridiculous opinions on FB, it just lets you know who they are.

HorseySurprise · 29/11/2023 15:51

How old is she?

CurlewKate · 29/11/2023 15:51
  1. her age is irrelevant
  2. yes, I would say something. I would send a message saying that maybe she should read her message again because it may not be saying what she thinks it's saying.
Namechange666 · 29/11/2023 15:52

As shite and stupid as that post is, it's her page to post and I can simply scroll past anything I find offensive. That or remove the old bag. 😁

YerArseInParsley · 29/11/2023 15:52

Just leave it, it's her opinion. It's nothing to get heated about. If you really want to say something you can say people are free to choose what they want to wear but I wouldn't make a massive issue of it., she's of a different generation.

LondonLass91 · 29/11/2023 15:54

Don't contact her! It's none of your business what she shares. Just because you find it offensive doesn't mean you automatically become the Facebook police! I find Facebook pictures of people's babies offensive and exploitative but I wouldn't say it! Go and have a glass of wine..

Wendyspotatopeeler · 29/11/2023 15:55

I would use 🤣 emoji on the post. I do this with my conspiracy theory friends who I love dearly but they post some utter tripe.

Flyhigher · 29/11/2023 15:57

The text is offensive. But I think she's trying to say that women should really take care of themselves and not be overly sexualised all the time.
I'm constantly struck by women on TV chat shows showing lots of skin. While men are suited and booted. It's a power play that we buy into.
If everyone was showing skin fine. But the men aren't. There's a reason.
I loved Madonna but she has just perpetuated this imbalance while saying it's sexual freedom.
It's not freedom. It's subjugation.

5128gap · 29/11/2023 15:58

I'd probably comment tbh. Largely because I find all the talk of 'old dears' as some sort of half wits who can't possibly be expected to grasp the attitudes of the so much smarter young people, (and who's opinions dont matter to the important young people anyway) almost as offensive as the original post. Having spent a few extra decades on the planet doesn't render a woman incapable of critical thought, debate or discussion. She posted something highly controversial and its patronising to assume it was because her age has made her too dim to know better and that she couldn't cope with a polite challenge.

Yekaterinap · 29/11/2023 16:01

My opinion is those shorts are woeful and be prepared to get stares. But each to their own.

NinaGeiger · 29/11/2023 16:02

It's also bollocks that everything valuable is covered up.
What about sunsets? The sound of children laughing? Running water?
I bet people who post this stuff also don't say "brilliant, that lady is wearing a hijab, very covered up."

porridgeisbae · 29/11/2023 16:02

He's kind of got a point. But I don't think most young women would really sit and listen to that length of stuff :)