DH’s Anonymous Message…

[AnonymousMessage]

DH has received a text message accusing him of flirting with/messaging their wife. Something in the message indicates that they definitely do vaguely know DH and myself.

They refuse to say who they are, and say that DH knows who they are but DH says he hasn’t a clue what this message is, what it’s about or who it’s from.

I’ve searched the phone number and can’t seem to find anything to suggest who it belong to.

I don’t think DH would cheat on me. However things have been a tough the past year with the birth of our first child.

Any idea where I can go from here to uncover who this message is from, and get to the bottom of it?

Not really sure what to think at the moment.

this is exactly the kind of thing my ex would have done, he was obsessed with the idea that I was cheating on him and if I mentioned another man in passing he would be convinced I was cheating with them or they were trying to chat me up Even dads from school etc.

This is exactly the kind of thing he would do after ruminating over his ridiculous ideas and working himself up so I wouldn’t be surprised if some poor women you barely know had just mentioned your dh in passing and her dh has become convinced yours is chatting her up and decided to call him out on it.

Can you search Facebook for the phone number? Some people forget they have them linked to their accounts.

I got a Facebook message a while back from someone saying she had never forgotten what I’d done to her and that she and her sisters were going to come for me; that I’d get what’s coming. I’d never seen her before in my life. She tried again a few weeks later, telling me I was scum for not replying and that my day would come.

I never replied - just reported to Facebook. I never got a third message. Some people are just loons who like making trouble.

That's scary, I'd be worried because of the threatening part. I really doubt it was your DH at fault here. If he was that much of a liar to be so bold about it, you'd know by now. I hope you figure it out! If the threat is serious I'd talk to the police.

I'd reply with "I've reported this to the police"

When they reply with "You don't know who I am" I'd go back with "Well, I've been flirting with your wife"

Oh, yes - I had numerous calls from the police investigating my "harassment" of him, a load of laughably-fake letters from "lawyers", he made videos about me on YouTube, he even set up a website about it.

I think his wife lost her job at a local school because of his lunacy, and his business never recovered from it. All because I caught him scamming people for £50 at a time.

This is exactly what I was going to say . The number of women I know who's controlling partners hate them working with any men and cause this sort of trouble , happens alot.
The fact your husband is honest and upfront about it speaks volumes, if he had anything to hide he would not have even told you about this

The ops not come back, but this is exactly why she needs to clarify, people are reading threatening as a physical threat to her. When I suspect strongly that’s not what it was at all.

Not sure if this has been said as I haven’t read through all the posts. But there are websites that you can send messages through and they just generate an anonymous number. Perhaps they’ve messaged him through something like that which is why it’s untraceable

I'd message them from my phone saying this is X's wife. He showed me your messages. Who are you - either put up or shut up.

I think this is the approach I'd go for given your DH was happy to call in front of you.

Yes. Tread carefully here .

I agree with pp that this sounds like the work of a controlling jealous partner. Jealously drives people absolutely nuts and this type of thing is common. Also that your partner was willing to be open & upfront straight away is a good sign. I would definitely phone the number in about a week or two once dust settled from another number as I’d be too curious not to try to find out who it was but I wouldn’t stress too much as to me it’s clearly a jealousy thing

send a message back saying any further contact will be construed as harassment and reported to the Police. Feels a bit stalker to me.

I lived in one county, my parents lived in another.
I had a stalker who was very familiar to the police in my county - they didn’t take his threats seriously.
Then he phoned my parents and threatened them and they called the police.
The police threw him in jail.
So yes, they would.

Sorry you went through that. Horrible and not funny at all.

I once received a very angry message from a UK registered number saying there will be consequences for messing with another woman's husband. It was quite lengthy.
I live in Japan, it was my work mobile number and I had no clients or work acquaintances from the UK. Let alone I would never "seduce" another woman's husband lol!
There's a possibility it's scam to make you call/ message back and lose money

Can you really not see the difference between that and one text telling someone to stop hitting on the wife?

Exactly, if people think the police will care about one message then I don't know what to say.

This. As long as there’s no sex going on, let it be 😂

Get the app TruCaller and put in the number...if you are linked to the person even indirectly a name may pop up.

@TossieFleacake the torment from anonymous letters is very real! I’ve had one this year and it’s literally hurting my brain and heart! My trust was low before this and now it’s zero 😢

Try typing the phone number into Facebook. In the search bar, you never know, it may link to an account x good luck to finding the culprit OP

This sounds actually like they have blocked you OP! Ask a friend to check for you!

Or the person he's ringing knows it's him and wants him to get in the 💩

Always be wary of anyone who wants to remain anonymous - a lot of the time they can be out to just cause trouble. I would send them a message to say that you pay no mind to anyone who isn't even confident enough in their accusations to disclose their identity and you don't appreciate people trying to cause issues in your relationship where there are none. I had a similar situation once and sent the person the number for a Samaritans helpline and told them that, if attempting to ruin relationships was their only entertainment, they needed professional help. Turned out to be a disgruntled ex from YEARS ago. It may not be innocent but your best hope of finding out who it is would be to tell them to keep their nose out of your relationship and 'grow a pair' by telling you who they are.