DH’s Anonymous Message…

[AnonymousMessage]

DH has received a text message accusing him of flirting with/messaging their wife. Something in the message indicates that they definitely do vaguely know DH and myself.

They refuse to say who they are, and say that DH knows who they are but DH says he hasn’t a clue what this message is, what it’s about or who it’s from.

I’ve searched the phone number and can’t seem to find anything to suggest who it belong to.

I don’t think DH would cheat on me. However things have been a tough the past year with the birth of our first child.

Any idea where I can go from here to uncover who this message is from, and get to the bottom of it?

Not really sure what to think at the moment.

That's hilarious - unless this person was credibly harassing you in other ways!

Could it be a woman that likes him and is just trying to cause shit? Also there is an app that you can download that gives you a fake number to use throught the app so could be something like that rather than somebody's actual phone x

THat's actually a bit scary. Is there anything else weird happening? Does have an enemy at work or something? Weird neighbour? etc.

The police rarely come out when you are robbed I sadly don’t think they would do much about this

An ex once messaged a gay male friend of mine (to be clear, this was while I was still together with said ex)... it was a really horrible and threatening message basically accusing my friend of coming on to me, and telling him to back off. I hadn't even realised that this friend was on my ex's radar; they'd never met in person and it wasn't someone I was particularly close to. I think my ex must've gotten the wrong end of the stick from our Facebook interactions, and my ex refused to believe me when I said this friend was very much not into women.

Needless to say, this ex was absolutely horrible in so many other ways - just a nasty, controlling, and abusive asshole (who was obviously cheating on me throughout the entire relationship).

Anyway, just saying this to a) agree with PP who said it's highly likely it has nothing to do with your DH and everything with the sender being a controlling husband, and b) maybe consider if your DH has any new-ish social media connections? I know some people are more trigger-happy with the like/comment function than others and this could be misconstrued by someone looking for problems (as it was in my case).

Sorry this is happening to you, and how gross that he brought your pregnancy into it.

Could it be a husband of a work colleague? I know about my DH’s work colleagues even though I’ve never met them. So the fact he knew you were pregnant doesn’t mean he actually knows you or DH in person.

I’d probably ignore it, sounds like someone out to cause trouble.

I'd ignore that if there's no other evidence of anything.
"Flirting" could mean anything. A woman once accused me of flirting with her husband because we had a 10 minute conversation about a mutual hobby on a night out with a larger group of people. She was also there and saw exactly what "happened" which was precisely nothing but still decided I was flirting and after her husband.
Similarly, messaging could also mean anything from completely innocent work chat to friendly banter to flirting to messages which cross line and enter emotional affair territory.
It could be a very jealous partner who has completely overreacted to something innocent. It could be someone who was interested in your husband but he's knocked them back because he's married and they've decided to make trouble. It could be someone who has a grudge against you or your husband for some reason.

I really think you should just ignore it. If another message arrives you can readdress the situation then - ie. whether to report to police.

I once had a woman call me demanding why her boyfriend had called me twice on a Saturday night. I was absolutely baffled. She was super aggressive. After wracking our brains it turned out he was the takeaway delivery driver who was lost and had called for for instructions. She must have been going through a long list of numbers!

Because presumably they recognise his number

Ring from another phone (not yours)

I know it's weird, but for some reason they are very hot on this kind of thing. Possibly because it is essentially a solveable crime, when theft etc. so often isn't. I think it's probably quite satisfying from a police point of view.

If you want you can DM me the number I will put it into my WhatsApp, take a screengrab, block them and message it to you.

Solved crimes probably good for police stars?

If they’ve messaged in a threatening way I’d report to the police.

I’d definitely give your DH the benefit of the doubt. I’ve been trolled this week and somehow, God knows how, they got hold of some pictures of me with my family and posted them ‘ warning’ everyone that I am a stalker ! I have no idea who this person is, I simply called them out on a very abusive comment they posted .

Me too

Some of these responses are quite wide of the mark.

firstly the message was to the husband, not the op. The message was not getting involve in her relationship. It was telling him to stop getting involved in the testers relationship.

i suspect the op means aggressive rather than threatening , but i could be wrong and she needs to clarify.

this is a man who thinks the husband is hitting on his wife. It could be some controlling freak, it could be true. But the message was not intended for the op; people need to remember that. It was not sent to her. She was not threatened in any way.

and if my suspicions are right, her husband will not want her to go to thr police at all.

its clearly someone who knows them, as a couple but distantly. I think the op has had her baby and the person doesn’t know that if they are asking if she’s still pregnant. Unless she’s pregnant again.

the police won’t act after one text saying stop hitting on my wife. Unless the op used the right word and there was a physical threat to her in there. And not just a “if you don’t stop I will tell her kind” of thing

When my partner started a new role he had to get a regular train to and from the city. A woman (younger) got the same train each day. He noticed her looking at him strange, followed by her obviously avoiding him, moving seats and changing carriages if she saw him. Escalated over time to her boyfriend blocking my partners route out of the train station to warn him off of her, telling him if he looked at her again he’d have him beat up.

partner was in tears every evening and really anxious every day (all on top of a brand new stressful job).

there’s some weird people out there.

Have you put the number into Facebook and TikTok?

Put the number in Facebook search bar or search it up on PayPal

I know people are saying don’t contact the police but I still would. If your DH genuinely hand on heart doesn’t know what this is about then you need to protect yourself.

I would block the number. They sound unhinged. Hope you are OK @AnonymousMessage I doubt your DH has done anything wrong!

Yeah, even if it's the non-emergency number - 101 is it?

These snide anonymous texters / poison pen writers are not remotely harmless. But on the bright side, they are cowards who always think they won't be detected and absolutely shit themselves when they get caught.

If this person believes the DH is hitting on his wife or that there is something more going on, the question about is your wife still pregnant is more likely to carry a sub-text meaning of "you are an absolute shit for hitting on or as I suspect slepping with my wife, and you are even more of a shit to do this because your own wife is pregnant."

I work in a sector where there is much opportunity for cheating and plenty of men who do it openly. Sad to say after the birth of a child is a really really common time for cheating to happen. Men can be vile.