DH’s Anonymous Message…

[AnonymousMessage]

DH has received a text message accusing him of flirting with/messaging their wife. Something in the message indicates that they definitely do vaguely know DH and myself.

They refuse to say who they are, and say that DH knows who they are but DH says he hasn’t a clue what this message is, what it’s about or who it’s from.

I’ve searched the phone number and can’t seem to find anything to suggest who it belong to.

I don’t think DH would cheat on me. However things have been a tough the past year with the birth of our first child.

Any idea where I can go from here to uncover who this message is from, and get to the bottom of it?

Not really sure what to think at the moment.

Google the number and out it in LinkedIn it often brings up who they are particularly if they are self-employed

I would wait a few days and call the number from another number - not yours - maybe ask a friend to borrow theirs or your sibling or a parent or hide your number in your setting - although some people have a policy of not answering unknown or concealed numbers.

Phone them and ask some questions to find out who it is. worth a punt even if it may not come off.

person answers phone and you say "hello. this is [fake name] calling about the [fake generic reason like a parcel] who am I speaking with please?"

Is there any chance your DH sent the message to himself from a burner phone / anonymous messaging app to test your reaction? The ex bf of a friend used such tactics.

Have you tried 'who called me'? it's a free website where you put the unknown phone number in and it tells you where the number is listed, company, or name and location it came from. Personal and business numbers can be found.
It's also great for checking random numbers for scams and spam.

Could it be a wrong number and the idea that they vaguely know you is just a coincidence that you have noticed?

Drop the number into the search function on Facebook. Sometimes people add numbers to their profiles and it'll tell you if there's a match.

I think there’s a service, possibly from Google, from memory, where you can use a computer to send a text message from a number it generates. So there might actually not be any phone at the other end of that number.

I’d send a message from my number saying who you are and to please tell you what they know.

Perhaps the person who is involved in the affair deserves to lose their trust in everyone. Much like they did to the person who they've hurt with their dishonest, dishonourable behaviour.

Op is the person responding on text. You say they refuse to say who they are but your husband will know exactly. That indicates some form of interaction.

That’s what I assumed the subtext was too, which why I asked if the op really meant threatening in the way some folks are taking it.

Op maybe if they know you they have blocked you and your husband from WhatsApp so you can't see who it is.

Can you try on anyone else's phone. If you want to pm I will try on mine

I'd respond with "I know. It's a new thing we are trying out in our relationship and assumed you were too". But I'm evil.

I do think this is a phishing scam though so probably don't.

The op clearly shouldn’t give the number to randoms on mumsnet. Don’t be silly, she can make up and excuse and ask a friend, a colleague, a family member, she certainly doesn’t need to involve randoms on line.

Do either of you have an ex who would be jealous that you are expecting a baby?

Who are his female work colleagues? Many of them? It may be one has a crush on DH and keeps talking about him to her partner and he's got cross and made it all your DH's fault.

I loosely "dated" a long term friend for a few months. He tells people we were in a full blown relationship for several years and that such was his heartbreak over the "break up" he required therapy. Note: he didn't go to therapy at all, but that's the lengths some people will lie too, in order to take their hatred to anyone they can.

Google the number. Facebook and PayPal search the number. Get a mates phone and call the number.

And it will all probably show as nothing, because it's a burner SIM, bought by some jealous idiot solely to harass you and DH.

It could be anything including a shit stirrer. When I was at school a girl would call random numbers from a pay phone and tell them woman who answered that she was having an affair with the husband. She was a prize winning bitch.

Lot of projection going on on here. 😂

in all seriousness though, surprised at the small number of folks who say they’d ignore it. Let’s face it, it’s a very unusual thing to happen. And it is someone who knows two fairly recent personal things about the op. One so personal she doesn’t want to say. That’s no coincidence. One maybe, not two.

would I heck ignore it, I’d move heaven and earth till I found out exactly who it was and what it was about. If my husband was potentially messaging another woman and flirting, I’d want to know for sure.

It wasn’t to the op, it was sent to her husband, if it was to hurt the op she’d have got it. It was a text to the husband telling him to leave the texteds wife alone.

When my ex and I split up, he messaged virtually everyone I'd ever had a social media interaction with, vaguely implying he 'knew what we were up to'.
It was not a great time!

My daughter (30f) is married. When she was engaged ‘someone’ she never identified them said they were having an affair with my now son in law. They had copied photos from his social media and pretended they had taken them and said they spent time with him. My daughter messaged and asked them to contact her when they were next together. A few days later the message came that they were with her fiancé, the person said she was sat next to him and he was runnIng his hand up and down her leg. The only thing was …. He was in the car with my daughter at the time so not playing away at all!
some individuals play a very underhand and nasty game. Has this been happening to you and your husband?? You KNOW him you know when he’s with you, you know if he’s capable. Personally I’d be inclined to not believe this message

Get your DH to reply with "She needs the attention because you are such a useless tosser"

That should nicely escalate it

This is a great idea 😂

I was wondering if this could be the start of some sort of scam? If your husband’s phone number is public (for work) or on a pet tag on Facebook and they have seen some photos on social media of you both?

Poison pen letters are illegal. I think this is very threatening and unpleasant and should be treated as such.

You can send anonymous texts online for a small fee and the reciever won't be able to call the number.