Friend demanded my honest opinion re her child's diet.

[Eastie77Returns]

My friend's child is just under a year old. She mentioned to me that he eats several pre-prepared pouches (Ella's Kitchen, pureed fruits) a day. On an average day she might give him 3-4. She asked me if I thought that was excessive as her MIL has been highly critical and also said she should cook everything from scratch for a child of that age.

Inwardly I partially agreed with her MIL. I don't think everything needs to be cooked from scratch (who has the time?!) but 4 pouches seems a lot. However I remember the stress of bringing up young DC and didn't want to pile on so I just replied that as long as her DC is happy, fed and gets a variety of food it is fine. Friend replied "you didn't really answer the question...do you think that's too many pouches" and insisted I give her an honest answer. In the end I said yes, it seems quite high if it's that amount every day. She was then clearly upset and things have been really strained between us since.

I mean, I don't get it. In the grand scheme of things it's really not that important - the pouches are not poison - but if you want honest feedback on what you are feeding your child then surely just accept the opinon when it's given? If you don't like what you hear then ok, just move on.

Rookie error. You were meant to say "your bub your rules hun" and then something about her mil being a right cow

This 😂

The ingredients aren’t the issue, the long shelf life of these pouches are.

I’m really not sure about Ella’s Kitchen but most baby pouches are cooked in a way that preserves shelf life, unfortunately this reduces the nutrients in the meals and kills off some vitamins too. So there is a difference where it really matters for a baby (nutrients/vitamins) between these pouches and freshly cooked meals. It’s sad because you see ‘organic this and organic that’ and automatically think it must be good quality but it’s all a bit of a con!

Tbh without even knowing about the cooking process of pouches it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that a pasta bolognese pouch that can sit on the shelf for months without going off isn’t ideal for a baby!

When pushed I just said ok well I think that number of pouches is a lot

this is blunt though.

You are giving him an excessive amount of processed puréed food when you could just as easily provide him with a balanced set of meals based on what you already cook for yourself

It’s not “processed food” , it’s literally just blended fruit and veg. And It’s not easy to feed one yr olds what you cook yourself without either eating a completely bland diet or feeding them far too much salt.
why are you being so judgemental and sanctimonious about what your friend feeds her child?

See latest posts on the thread. If this stuff isn’t processed in any way how on earth can it remain edible for months at a time?

When you cook a meal from scratch are you then able to pop it into plastic packaging and leave it in your cupboard for up to a year without it going off? How do you think the makers of baby food achieve this - kisses and prayers?

Of course you can give a toddler food that isn’t completely bland or saturated with salt😂. There is an in between.

You have a very odd definition of a blunt comment btw!

You have a very odd definition of a blunt comment btw

it was blunt. You directly told her you thought she was feeding her baby wrong. If it wasn’t blunt why do you think it upset her?

Of course you can give a toddler food that isn’t completely bland or saturated with salt😂

Guess you have it all figured out eh? My only point was it’s not as simple as feed them what you feed yourself. To deny this is ridiculous.

When you cook a meal from scratch are you then able to pop it into plastic packaging and leave it in your cupboard for up to a year without it going off? How do you think the makers of baby food achieve this - kisses and prayers?

it’s the method of cooking and the air tight packaging used. Once the seal is broken and it’s open the food does go off very quickly.

your tone is so arrogant! Def not the type of mum friend “support” one needs when in the trenches looking after an infant . 😢

Ps. And yes, if you have a pressure canner it is possible to cook a meal from scratch and do this yourself. No kisses and prayers required.

They're canned food in fancy packaging. Who'd want to live off canned fruit and veg? Let alone canned meals?

Jars and pouches are useful. I even trained my poor babies to eat from cold jars for when we were out and about. None of that softy warmed food.

But they aren't nutritious, however much we'd like them to be.

How does she think it would be easier to identify the allergen from a pouch than a meal she's made herself which will likely have fewer ingredients than a pouch?

4 fruit pouches a day and NOTHING else? that is not nutritionally complete and if she carries on, baby will become malnourished. the processed food issue is secondary. baby needs protein, complex carbs, fats and a wide variety of vitamins and minerals. no wonder her MIL is concerned.

But they aren't nutritious, however much we'd like them to be

canned fruit and veg may not be as tasty as fresh fruit and veg, but it is just as nutritious.

Canned vs frozen vs fresh is marginal nutrition wise. Let’s not pretend everyone cooks a balanced nutritionally proportioned dish for every meal for yourselves and your family. The pouches have more vegetables for a ragu than I cook (I make a soffritto then add chicken liver, milk, white wine, beef mince and tomatoes and cook for 5hrs).

Do adults have a perfectly proportioned meal at each occasion? If not, then it’s silly to expect the child to if you are all eating the same. I’d have a salad when out. My child would vaguely pick at some cucumber. A pouch is a lot more nutritious than that.

I’m obviously not saying punches for every meal, but if it’s the choice between a cheese sandwich and a packet of crisps, then a pouch is more nutritious.

We did a combo of finger food, pouches, home cooked ridiculousness of elaborate nutritious baby food.

Our child likes squid, hates prawns. Likes cucumber, hates tomatoes. Likes spicy crisps that they pinched from a table at a party, hated the sweets that were also on the table. Children go through so many likes and dislikes.

The pouches aren’t the problem. As you have said it’s the lack of things like fresh fruit and vegetables raw in chunks to bite down on and cause resistance. If you home cooked all those pouches everyday, you’d still have the same issue!!

I'd try not to take it too personally, especially if she's usually a good friend. It does sound like a sensitive issue for her, I imagine because she knows it isn't ideal but it sounds like she's very anxious and that is what wins out. Hopefully at least he can move onto the toddler meals soon which again, aren't ideal but they will maybe feel a bit more 'safer' for your friend and hopefully build up her confidence.

Does your friends son go to nursery at all? If so, I wonder if he eats more home cooked food there. Though if he is having 4 pouches a day, maybe not.

Not just fruit pouches but meal pouches such as spag bol etc. OP clarified in a later post.

If you knew an adult who was eating 28 ready meals a week and they asked you if you thought that was a lot, what would your response be?

I don’t think it’s realistic to expect everything that passes a child’s lips to be nutritious and home cooked. But there has to be a balance.

why is everyone pretending feeding your kid 3/4 meals of canned food a day is a good and normal balanced diet.

she shouldn't have pushed if she didn't want the truth, she knows that its not great and wants someone to tell her it isn't

No one likes to hear that they're not doing their best when it comes to children but if no one says anything how can parents do better.

No one is perfect and sure no one likes to be corrected on how they're raising their kid but some people can and should be stepping their game up a little bit

Ok, you’ve completely missed what I am saying. Your issue was that she is giving her child too much soft food/same texture at first. I agreed, but said that a lot of the pouches are aimed at different ages so the texture is the same as you would cook at home if it was a stew or pasta.
The pouches are the equivalent of tinned/frozen food. I used to have a stack of frozen vegetables that I’d whack into pasta or rice with some passata. Or some tinned seeetcorn or tuna. I don’t think that’s any different than a pouch.

The pouches are in (my mind) irrelevant and possibly why she feels a bit aggravated. If you have an issue with the fact the child isn’t getting any taste/crunch of raw fruit and vegetables, then just say that.

Adult ready meals are not a comparison though, I think you know that, but if not, compare the ingredients and see for yourself. It’s more like comparing batch cooking a stew, a curry, a rice dish, a chilli, a pasta, then freezing it and having it for every meal.

Are you listening to anything anyone is saying or are you just stuck in your ignorant judgement?

baby pouches are not “ready meals”, which are unhealthy because they tend to be high in salt and low in nutrition.
Baby meals are like if you cooked a very low salt, high veg or fruit meal from sctach , put it in a blender and packaged it. they are highly likely to contain lower levels of salt and higher levels of nutrition , than feeding a baby a bit of a meal you cooked for yourself.
Your presumption that they are “processed” because they keep on a shelf is completely false.

Whether you were reasonable depends on how much you understood about what her child was eating, and how you delivered the response.

4 pouches a day where it’s:
One ready made porridge
One meal one with chunky pieces
one yoghurt
one fruit purée.

Thats part of a wider diet with sone more solid foods and some finger foods is pretty good balance. Low food waste, easy way to get a wide variety.

4 fruit / veg pouches and then milk isn’t a great diet for most nearly one year olds.

At one they shouldn't be on that many pouches. I get giving a meal one every now and again., my one year old wouldn't have touched it as she hated puréed food she wanted proper food she could taste and play with.. your friend is heading down a dangerous path, she's gunna have a kid that is funny with textures and tastes. He needs proper food.

4 pouches is a lot and aside from potential sugar etc the pouches aren't introducing enough textures which is really important for oral development (speech). A simple replacement would be weetabix or porridge for breakfast with some real chopped up strawberries.

You did nothing wrong OP. She asked, you tried to be diplomatic, she pushed and didn’t like your reply.
I realise kids can be picky but of course her child is if he virtually eats nothing but those things. She’s setting herself up for major food issues as he grows.

@Tandora there is no need to be so unpleasant. Please just move on from this thread since you seem incensed by everything I write. We’ll need to agree to disagree on what constitutes a healthy, varied diet for a 1 year old. You believe consuming over 2 dozen pouches a week is fine and the equivalent of cooking healthy meals from scratch. Ok.

@ScaryM0nster my responses were initially It’s fine. Don’t worry about your MIL, your DS seems happy etc

Friend became defensive and repeatedly said “you have not answered my question about the number of pouches. Is it lot in your opinion because MIL will not stop going on about it..”

I realise now I prob should have just rinsed and repeated my first reply or as a PP suggested asked her “how many do you think is a lot”. Instead I said well 4 every single day is a lot over the course of a week.

I personally think that is true even if he is eating other bits.

That’s really not true I’m afraid, will copy and paste my previous post from yesterday:

The ingredients aren’t the issue, the long shelf life of these pouches are.

I’m really not sure about Ella’s Kitchen but most baby pouches are cooked in a way that preserves shelf life, unfortunately this reduces the nutrients in the meals and kills off some vitamins too. So there is a difference where it really matters for a baby (nutrients/vitamins) between these pouches and freshly cooked meals. It’s sad because you see ‘organic this and organic that’ and automatically think it mustbe good quality but it’s all a bit of a con!

Tbh without even knowing about the cooking process of pouches it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that a pasta bolognese pouch that can sit on the shelf for months without going off isn’t ideal for a baby!

To those claiming there is little difference nutritionally, that's just wrong. Pressure canning foods IS processing, the ingredients are heated to excessive temperatures to make them shelf stable. (to prevent botulism) This heat process, reduces nutrition and makes lots of vitamins difficult to access. This nutrition continues to decline over time. That's just fact.
Now if you're canning homegrown organic foods, at peak freshness this inevitably will be better than a pouch. However fresh food are at peak nutrition.
This is why uncooked vegetables and fruit are recommended, a raw carrot is much better than a cooked one. In the case of babies al dente is better obviously.

Plenty of studies around the world have found pouches/ canned (jar) baby food has very little nutrition, much less than advertised. Add to that the calls from dentists that these food are very high in sugar.

It doesn't take much time to cook and portion up a few meals, freezing has less nutrition loss if you are very time pressured. But if you eat well, then BLW with tweaks is really the easiest option. There's actually an Ellas pouch that is jacket potato and beans...I mean really??

To poster who took a swipe at me about BLW, I went to a health centre video/session about it and though, no freaking way...a month later I embraced it! Fresh food will always be the best food for humans...and probably cats😂

Exactly. This is all supported by evidence!!!