To think this is CF and inappropriate and say no?

[KindaProm]

Well actually, I've already said no, and I'm getting a lot of attitude from various folk about my response sadly. So I'm here on AIBU to check myself.

A close family member, Zara has a son, Xander 17 who is at a specialist sixth form.

Every Christmas the school has a Very Fancy Christmas Event for Year 13 that all the children make massive efforts for. Think red carpet, photos, lovely food and entertainment.

They like to arrive in style.

I have a nice car. Zara would like to drive Xander in it to the event.

She's not willing to pay for insurance to drive it, and I'm not willing to fund her, so I've refused. She's not a great maneouverer anyway and I'd be concerned that she'd damage it.

She's having a hissy fit because I've RUINED his evening, they've been plotting this arrival since he joined this College. News to me, I was asked at the weekend for the event at the end of term.

Another close family member, Wilma, has called me several times to cajole, persuade and finally berate me for not allowing Zara to have this pleasure. Yes it's all about Zara, not Xander.

Wilma's DH, Vince, has also started trying to persuade me to let Zara drive it just in the grounds of the event, as its private property and insurance is almost irrelevant at that point.

I'm still saying no. Even if I'd consider it, what would I do whole she drove it on the grounds? Stand at the roadside like a plum while she pootles up the driveway?
How's she going to get to the venue?

I've offered to drive him myself but nope, not good enough; Zara needs to be there.

I'm not being unreasonable am I?

And Wilma and Vince need to stick out of it, don't they?

I know a couple of people that have used their flash cars to drop teenage relatives at proms and such like, but in every instance the owner of the car drove.

Why don’t you say ‘look I’m happy to drop Xander off, but me and only me will drive the car. If it helps I will wear a chauffeur’s cap and you can all pretend I’m on the payroll. That’s the best I can do.’

Squeezed into the glove box?

Me too. Been driving 30 years, and as long as I've had a fully comp policy, I can drive another car, third party. I would be concerned about damaging another car, though! I've used it to drive a friend's car home, the night her mother died; and to take my Dad's car somewhere once. But yes, they're quite common.

YANBU not to let her drive it. You've offered to drive him, which is generous, she's said no. Nobody would be driving my car without insurance, either.

But anyway, Zara is a total CF - and she wouldn't be getting any access to my fancy (9 year old, dirty, Vauxhall Astra) car!
They can hire one, or she can take him in her own car.

I bet Xander doesn't want it at all.

He won't want the fuss, most teenage boys hate this sort of stuff.

Most of them rocked up to my DS's end of sixth form event either on foot or by train. No posh cars at all.
My DS got the train and then walked.

(City centre venue admittedly)

And why does ZARA not just hire a fancy car for the event and stop being a CF!

And what about YORAM ...

Stand your ground OP!

I thought that was the case -

no, say no, mean no and TELL her not to be so ridiculously entitled. She can't go around promising things to others that she doesn't have.

And if she has been planning this for some years, she could have saved up the money to hire something suitable and LEGAL.

Shut down Wilma and Vince, tell them to beak out or stump up for Zaraand her entitlement themselves

Yanbu AT all.
youve offered to drive him, that’s kind enough. End of story.

They probably don't have insurance themselves

Yannick or Yash

Zara wants to pretend it's her car so you can't drive it....and is too tight to get it insured.

YANBU (also doubles as a good name).

IMO these events are encouraging teenagers to be insufferable and materialistic. Ridiculous £££ on prom dresses and arriving in fancy cars. In my day...

Anyway, the point is that this whole thing reeks of Zara being an indulged sister and your parents trying to get you to let her have YOUR toy that you saved up for yourself just because she's thrown a tantrum. No way should you let them.

Why won’t she just pay for the insurance if she’s that keen?

@KindaProm - Are you all on WhatsApp as I'd create a message to all of them along these lines:

Hi All - Recently I was asked to loan my two seater car to allow Zara drive Xander to his end of term event. I have subsequently been contacted by numerous members of the family saying that I'm ruining Xander's end of term event. Apparently my car was to be featured heavily in getting Xander to this event.
I have refused to loan my car for this event and any others going forwards. I think at this point Google would be Zara's friend as you can hire similar vehicles from "Luxury Motors Now" (insert name of car hire company).
As I have been badgered into a corner I am stating clearly I am not loaning my car out to anyone and I deem the topic of conversation closed.

They all sound like children. They need boundaries. Good for them to hear a no from you

Oh, and I'm going to suggest Yehudi.

Yury :)

Zara is a narcissistic CF. Wilma and Vince are her flying monkeys. You are their target, along with your boundaries.

I'd go with. 'This doesn't work for me. The answer is no and I don't want to discuss it any further.'

Rinse and repeat. Block if necessary.

Keep saying No OP.. I think it has to be no now that the Flying Monkeys have been employed !I think that if you did lend her the car.. ol' Zara sounds like the type that would be borrowing it again and again at the drop of a hat... lending it out as a favour to her mates too.
If she doesn't care about driving uninsured - I'd not trust her to care that much about drinking "Oh it was only a few tiny glasses of wine."

At worst - you will acquire a reputation amongst the CFs for being too mean to lend them your car despite all their pleading... so they will stop asking...
Which is actually a result!

I know this is not the point of the thread and Op is definitely not being unreasonable, BUT, I just want to know what Op's car is.

Aston Martin
Bentley
Ferrari
Lamborghini
Porsche Boxster
Morgan

Tell the whole alphabet to ODFOD! Cheeky sods.

Alas poor Yorrick.

YANBU

Wh do people think they’re entitled to other’s possessions? When I had a horse, people would discuss riding him (mostly clueless non riders). It was astonishing. He was precious, I don’t want some numpty on him!

This is exactly what I was thinking!

I would also add
Maserati
McLaren