To think this is CF and inappropriate and say no?

[KindaProm]

Well actually, I've already said no, and I'm getting a lot of attitude from various folk about my response sadly. So I'm here on AIBU to check myself.

A close family member, Zara has a son, Xander 17 who is at a specialist sixth form.

Every Christmas the school has a Very Fancy Christmas Event for Year 13 that all the children make massive efforts for. Think red carpet, photos, lovely food and entertainment.

They like to arrive in style.

I have a nice car. Zara would like to drive Xander in it to the event.

She's not willing to pay for insurance to drive it, and I'm not willing to fund her, so I've refused. She's not a great maneouverer anyway and I'd be concerned that she'd damage it.

She's having a hissy fit because I've RUINED his evening, they've been plotting this arrival since he joined this College. News to me, I was asked at the weekend for the event at the end of term.

Another close family member, Wilma, has called me several times to cajole, persuade and finally berate me for not allowing Zara to have this pleasure. Yes it's all about Zara, not Xander.

Wilma's DH, Vince, has also started trying to persuade me to let Zara drive it just in the grounds of the event, as its private property and insurance is almost irrelevant at that point.

I'm still saying no. Even if I'd consider it, what would I do whole she drove it on the grounds? Stand at the roadside like a plum while she pootles up the driveway?
How's she going to get to the venue?

I've offered to drive him myself but nope, not good enough; Zara needs to be there.

I'm not being unreasonable am I?

And Wilma and Vince need to stick out of it, don't they?

Does he not want to travel to the event with his friends like a normal teenager?

YANBU anyway.

Yorick, Yaron, Yannik, Yannis, Yuval, Yonatan/Yoni…

I am sure there are more…

Also @KindaProm, have you reminded Zara that if you let her drive your car without insurance both of you will be committing a crime?

alas, poor Yorick was overlooked 😉

Zara will just have to pay your insurance, petrol and wear and tear, plus any excess if she damages the car. Or she can hire one.

I guessed it was two seater from your comments about her turning down your offer to drive him there yourself. Would Wilma and Vince hand their car keys over if they had a ‘Nice’ car to an uninsured driver, I doubt it.
I’ve had sports cars, beautiful expensive cars and hell would freeze over before I’d hand the keys over to an inexperienced, uninsured driver. I say inexperienced driver because a sports car handles different to a saloon.
All of mine were rear wheel drive, twitchy in the wet, tendency to slide side ways in snow unless handled carefully.
A return trip of 15 miles on public roads and a mile on a private road = 32 miles. All it takes is to take a corner too fast and she could flip it, Has she forgotten that other vehicles will be driving those same 32 miles?
Tell them it’s a once only offer, You drive or they get a cab.

It literally says in the OP that she is refusing to pay for the insurance.

Although if I were the OP I would say no even if she were willing to pay for the insurance.

Just here for the names...
Yosef, Yves, Yorkie.

If Wilma is that fussed she can offer to pay surely…

They All seem pretty unhinged, is this an isolated incident or is there a history of pandering to Zara?

As a further point, I follow a number of police accounts on twitter. They are regularly posting about uninsured cars being seized.

OP would then need to go to the impound lot, provide all her own paperwork and pay a hefty fee to get her own car back and if she doesn't do it within 7 days they'll dispose of it.

I'd send one final copy and paste post to everyone:

"I will not lend Zara my car without her having appropriate insurance to drive it fully comprehensive. Zara has refused to pay for this, so I cannot allow her to drive it. Driving a car without insurance is illegal and could end up with my car being seized and crushed. I have offered to take Xander to his Prom in the car if he wants to, but this is the only way he'll be able to go in my car. I have nothing more to say on the matter."

Your family are batshit.

No way in hell would Zelda be allowed behind the wheel of my car, even if she paid for the insurance.

Wilma and Vince would be getting an earful, such that they would never darken my phone-line again.

Just fuck no if she won’t pay the insurance

There is a limousine here in our town much in use for Prom Nights. Groups of four or so friends hire it to arrive in style.

To be honest, her attitude towards your car makes me think even if she did pay for the insurance, the answer would be no. She doesn’t sound considerate of other people’s property.

Mine were a BMW z4 3l and a Porche Boxter S 2.8l. No one drove them but me and dh.
Comprehensive insurance doesn’t always automatically cover third party to drive someone else’s car so it’s best to check before driving a car that’s not yours.
Another name suggestion…Yugo

They all sound (overly) theatrical. PS YANBU at all. PPS you are very kind to offer to drive a young relative to their prom in your lovely car. A generous offer. Shame it has been so sulkily declined.

YANBU. You have offered to drive him. If it was all about him then she would have accepted this.

Absolutely no way would I allow anyone to drive my mum mobile car uninsured let alone a fancy car. I wouldn't even be keen to allow them to drive it insure. I rely on it to get to work, get DH to work on time and my kids to appointments I flushing medical ones.

If she can't come in the car with you and her son, can she drive in a separate vehicle just behind?

YA most definitely NBU, but I'm disappointed more family members didn't get involved so we could have got all the way back up to Balonz! 😂

1. It’s a 2-seater.
2. The boy’s mum doesn’t want to do that.

Yanbu

I've offered to drive him myself but nope, not good enough; Zara needs to be there
She can be there, she can just be waiting for him to arrive and take the photos. But I think now with the added fam pressure, it would be a hard no to even driving him yourself.

Oh, and Yan

Yves

I'd tell a more loquacious member of the family that you've offered a lift and she's turned it down, because it sounds like that part of the narrative has been overlooked. My cousin turned up for his fancy prom in a wheelbarrow and his mate on a pantomime cow. Most photos taken ever. Sometimes you've just got to think outside the (car shaped) box

Only read page 1.

Why don't Yorrick & Z-lister hire a flash car for the evening?