To think this is CF and inappropriate and say no?

[KindaProm]

Well actually, I've already said no, and I'm getting a lot of attitude from various folk about my response sadly. So I'm here on AIBU to check myself.

A close family member, Zara has a son, Xander 17 who is at a specialist sixth form.

Every Christmas the school has a Very Fancy Christmas Event for Year 13 that all the children make massive efforts for. Think red carpet, photos, lovely food and entertainment.

They like to arrive in style.

I have a nice car. Zara would like to drive Xander in it to the event.

She's not willing to pay for insurance to drive it, and I'm not willing to fund her, so I've refused. She's not a great maneouverer anyway and I'd be concerned that she'd damage it.

She's having a hissy fit because I've RUINED his evening, they've been plotting this arrival since he joined this College. News to me, I was asked at the weekend for the event at the end of term.

Another close family member, Wilma, has called me several times to cajole, persuade and finally berate me for not allowing Zara to have this pleasure. Yes it's all about Zara, not Xander.

Wilma's DH, Vince, has also started trying to persuade me to let Zara drive it just in the grounds of the event, as its private property and insurance is almost irrelevant at that point.

I'm still saying no. Even if I'd consider it, what would I do whole she drove it on the grounds? Stand at the roadside like a plum while she pootles up the driveway?
How's she going to get to the venue?

I've offered to drive him myself but nope, not good enough; Zara needs to be there.

I'm not being unreasonable am I?

And Wilma and Vince need to stick out of it, don't they?

How entitled Zara is

Not a cat in hell would I lend my car out to her or ‘specialist college’ son
If she wants to arrive in style then she hires something
i don’t even drive my H car and I’m on the insurance

Of course you are right op@KindaProm

the only alternative solution is for you to drive both of them to this event

they are being totally unreasonable in all various ways

Don't second guess yourself cause of the pressure they are putting on you

What kind of car do you have @KindaProm ?

I am being nosy but also would genuinely be interested in knowing how much it would be to pay for insurance for 24 hours.

Wow, Zara sounds hard work!
Obviously as everyone as has said, you shouldn't be out of pocket for doing a favour and you most certainly shouldn't be using, causing or permitting the driving of a car with no insurance.

What does Zander want? Apart from perhaps the opportunity to shine and not be simply an accessory to his amazing mother's social media glory

No way would I let anyone else drive my DH’s beaten up Mazda 3 if they weren’t insured, even on private property. They’d have a snowflake’s chance in hell of being allowed near my nice SUV. I’m reluctant to even let DH drive it!

YANBU! Refuse to engage in the conversation anymore!

YANBU - Zara is totally unreasonable especially since you've offered to drive him there yourself which is a big ask anyway.

Can't believe no one suggested Yoni!

Yari (French name).

Honestly what does Zara think is going to happen if she does get her hands on this car? The rest of the school are all waiting outside to see them arrive and burst into spontaneous applause.

I'd say no even if she coughed up for the extra insurance on principle now.

Citroen Xsara

When she declined to pay for insurance, was that knowing the specific price for being added to your policy for 24 hours or whatever, or just a wholesale dismissal of the concept of needing insurance?

I don't think you can allow someone to drive your car without insurance!

They sound like a bunch of loons.

Yvain (one of Arthur’s nights).

Knights!

They’re really not, I’ve been driving 38 years and it’s been on mine for donkeys. I’m currently with Admiral. I am the main policy holder though and not a named driver.

I'm in Ireland, and I can drive any car (Third party fire and theft only), on my fully comprehensive policy. Is it the same in UK?

Yabu
(boy's name starting with Y).

Otherwise YANBU.

Alas, poor Yorrick cannot go to the ball in your fancy car.

I thought it was but there’s at least one poster who says their comprehensive policy doesn’t let them drive other vehicles.

I wouldn’t let someone drive my (hypothetical) expensive sports car without fully comprehensive insurance, anyway. What is they crashed it?!

YANBU. You have said no, end of. Also, as I told my DH when late MIL was insisting- if someone is pushing the answer is No.

If they want a good/nice car they can hire one.

Yves.

YANBU I get the impression it's what she wants not what the son wants. Usually at these events they arrive in transport with friends don't they. Not driven by mummy in a relative's flashy car.

Yves (excellent use of names)

I'm not entirely sure that car insurance isn't needed on private property. Especially not the 3rd party part of it.

Stick to your guns. They can hire a car if they want.

To be honest if the car is that fancy, and given Zara sounds like a knob, I don't think I'd want to lend it to her even if she did pay for insurance as she doesn't sound like someone whose driving I would trust and would prefer for my fancy car to just not get damaged.

Tell the lot of them to knob off. YADNBU.

What does it matter if your driving? Surely she can travel alongside him?