To think this is CF and inappropriate and say no?

[KindaProm]

Well actually, I've already said no, and I'm getting a lot of attitude from various folk about my response sadly. So I'm here on AIBU to check myself.

A close family member, Zara has a son, Xander 17 who is at a specialist sixth form.

Every Christmas the school has a Very Fancy Christmas Event for Year 13 that all the children make massive efforts for. Think red carpet, photos, lovely food and entertainment.

They like to arrive in style.

I have a nice car. Zara would like to drive Xander in it to the event.

She's not willing to pay for insurance to drive it, and I'm not willing to fund her, so I've refused. She's not a great maneouverer anyway and I'd be concerned that she'd damage it.

She's having a hissy fit because I've RUINED his evening, they've been plotting this arrival since he joined this College. News to me, I was asked at the weekend for the event at the end of term.

Another close family member, Wilma, has called me several times to cajole, persuade and finally berate me for not allowing Zara to have this pleasure. Yes it's all about Zara, not Xander.

Wilma's DH, Vince, has also started trying to persuade me to let Zara drive it just in the grounds of the event, as its private property and insurance is almost irrelevant at that point.

I'm still saying no. Even if I'd consider it, what would I do whole she drove it on the grounds? Stand at the roadside like a plum while she pootles up the driveway?
How's she going to get to the venue?

I've offered to drive him myself but nope, not good enough; Zara needs to be there.

I'm not being unreasonable am I?

And Wilma and Vince need to stick out of it, don't they?

What happened to hiring cars?

so cheeky of her if she’s been planning this since whenever she should have made allowances for a back up car in case you said no, it was never a given as it’s not her car.

I would come away from them tbh, they sound entitled.

Yanbu, can't you drive and she be in passenger seat if she's absolutely got to be there? Tell her that's the only way it's happening if she won't pay the insurance

Nope

you’ve offered to drive him, so he is fully able to get the entrance in style points.

this is all about Zara

YANBU! The request is absolutely bats*. I would never in my life ask to borrow someone's car just because it looks fancy and everyone will think I'm amazing driving it! Your friend is delusional. If Zara wants to drive a fancy car, she is free to hire or purchase one herself!
Even if you or Zara were willing to pay for insurance, think of the massive headache if Zara did damage your car, or cause damage to something/someone else with your care. It's bad enough having to deal with an insurance claim for any reason, but to throw a 'friendship' into the mix will be a world of pain.
I assume she hasn't offered to pay for fuel either? What would the arrangement be on cleaning bills if it comes back dirty? Or damage that's too minor to warrant a claim? Definitely not worth the hassle.
Lord knows why other family members are getting involved. Next they'll be asking to borrow your house for a few days 😂

Is the car a soft top?

If not, could you lash her to the roof with bungee cords?

They are all batshit!!

Nobody is actually going to GAF what she is driving, let alone remember the next day!!

Surely if Zara were to drive, Zara would not be able to get the video/photos of Xander arriving. Ergo, the best plan is Zara and Yves/Vince should get themselves to the venue, find the absolute best spot for photos and station themselves there for the car's arrival.

But this ^ is actually the best suggestion

But if Yiannis exists, Xander is no longer. Wilma becomes Xanthe and Vince becomes Wyatt.

On another note, what do you think of Yanbu as a boys name beginning with Y? It seems to be quite popular.

Tell Zara she should focus more on not using Bangladeshi children to make her products!

Might want to check the details on the Boxster 🤣

I’m surprised she didn’t ask you to just give her your car she sounds so entitled. Of course she can’t drive your car anywhere without insurance. Supposing she hit someone. Point her in the direction of limo hire companies.

They sound entitled and I wouldn't go along with it. Let them hire something.

Ah well, if your sister wants your car she'll have to pay for insurance and drive it herself. How much would it be for that short amount of time?

YANBU thats outrageous and then getting others to try to bully you into giving in. Awful

YANBU. If she wants to rock up in a flash car, she can hire one. I believe there are companies who specialise in high end car rental, and there are definitely companies who specialise in classic car rentals. A friend hired a '70s Aston Martin for a weekend.

Is Zara’s son learning to drive/passed his test yet? Could the reason they’ve declined you driving him there be that once out of your sight/on the venue’s grounds they are planning for him to drive the car and make his entrance driving a swanky car?

That would be beyond cheeky fuckery!

Zara clearly only cares about herself, given that you've offered to take Xander yourself and she's refused.

Just tell her the only way it’s happening is if you drive them there - surely they could both come in the car with you. I would never let anyone drive my car uninsured, ever, under any circumstances.

Allowing someone to drive your car without insurance is also an offence. If caught could both be disqualified from driving

Its not a risk worth taking.

Its their problem not yours.

Can’t she hire a limo taxi or something similar? Don’t let her drive your car uninsured. If she continues say that you’ll contact the police so that they can explain the rules to her.

It's a 2 seater

Could they go on a tandem? Much more zeitgeist than some naff sports car