Good morning @Crumpetdisappointment.
Please can you explain why you asked this question in your opening post when you didn't actually want an honest answer:
"would you have lied in this situation or is it fair enough to complain?"
although having read all of your posts up until now (8.00am), I think I can answer my own question 🙄
You - presumably - often (hopefully not always) ask questions that in your head only have one right answer, and if you don't receive the 'correct' answer from the person/people you ask, then you get annoyed, and their answer puts you in a bad mood?
I ask that question because many PP's have already told you that in their opinion (which you asked for)
a) You shouldn't ask a question that you don't actually want a truthful answer to.
b) Your DM was not being rude to either you or your DH.
I am sorry OP, because I am going to make another presumption - which I am very happy to have an honest reply to.
I presume that you had a particularly bad childhood for which you directly blame your DM? If that is the case, then please don't read past the end of this paragraph for my response to you. Instead, if you haven't already done so, please consider having counselling rather than doing what I have done, which is to spend the past 50 odd years trying to push all the negative thoughts about my childhood into tiny boxes buried deep in my mind.
Dear Crumpet, as you are still reading this, may I suggest that you are harming yourself far more with your own negative reactions to simple responses from those you have asked questions of, than the honest and perfectly fine answers that you have received in this thread should be capable of. As you probably don't want to discuss any of this with your DM, could you do so instead with your DH, or trusted friends? If you are not mainly content, and often happy, with any serious aspects of your life, then I am suggesting again that maybe you would benefit from some professional counselling.
I am really sorry OP if I am treating your thread far too seriously! I suppose that I don't want you to spend your life growing more and more narrow minded, and taking things from other people in a way that was never intended by them.
In case you are still reading this Crumpet, I would like to suggest a couple of practical actions that your DH could take. One of your posts suggests that he is already taking medications for his possible bladder problems, which suggests that he does indeed have a medical condition that affects his urinary health. If that is so then I agree with you when you mentioned that his meds might need tweeking, so he should return to see either his GP or specialist asap.
I hope that if your DP does have a medical condition that either directly affects your DH's bladder, and/or kidneys, or a condition that can have urinary problems as a side effect, that he has been given helpful advice on what, when, and how much fluid intake he should have. Obviously having things like caffeinated, or most alcoholic drinks, within a few hours of going to bed, should be avoided by everyone when possible. We all know that once past babyhood, water is by far the safest and healthiest liquid we - who are lucky enough to live in well developed countries - can drink. But it is my understanding that in some cases it is not advisable to even drink a lot of water too close to bedtime. However, if your DH is seeing a specialist about his condition, he should have already been strongly advised about everything to do with it, including (or especially) his fluid intake.
May I ask you another question OP (I will assume yes, although I am not even sure that I don't mean it more as a refective question, rather than one that I think you should answer on a forum like this)? You seemed to me to be more annoyed for your DH's sake, rather than for yours, that your DM gave you an honest answer to your very normal question about how she slept?
You appear to think that your DM - or anyone really - could be blaming him for his need to frequently urinate over night? However, say for example that your DH didn't have a medical condition that affected his urine output, and say he drank several pints of beer before bedtime, then yes, he probably would be to 'blame' for his frequent visits to the loo, and the remedy for that should be reasonably easy to 'fix'. Although if beer is his fluid of choice, the one that he uses for quenching a raging thirst, then again he needs to see his GP asap, to find out what is causing that thirst.
If your DH does have some sort of medical condition that is causing his frequent bathroom visits, then he is not to 'blame', and neither he nor you should be embarrassed about it. I know that what I am about to suggest now would be rejected by a lot of younger people, and some men of my age too, but for the sake of a more peaceful night for all of the household, including your husband, it might be a good idea for your DH to keep one or two of those urininal "bottles" (that are often used in hospitals) beside his side of the bed. As well as not disturbing the rest of the household, it should mean much less disruption to your DH's sleep as well. He could keep them in a discreet open bag, along with a packet of wet wipes.
I am so sorry that this is so long OP! I can easily understand that seeing it's length even before you started reading it, may have stopped you from reading it, which means I will have spent two hours one finger typing purely for 'fun', and the only person I can blame for that, is me 🙈 🙈🙈