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AIBU?

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Original poster

Excluded At My Own Birthday 'Celebration'

173 replies

WickedWitchOfTheEast87 · 26/11/2023 06:52

So before I start this happened early this year, I was off sick from work for 5 weeks and my birthday was during the time I was off but as I was sick I was stuck at home.

During the day messages were coming through on the work group chat with photos of a birthday cake and a message that it was for my birthday. No one wished me happy birthday but messages followed how lovely the cake was and thanking the colleague who got the cake which I didn't get to try! AIBU to think that was really cheeky and I was upset at the time I was basically excluded from my own birthday! I'm now just pissed off at the fact they basically made my birthday an excuse for cake and then had the nerve to send photos in the group chat of it knowing I would see it, when I did return to work no card or present despite me always paying towards other people's birthday's. What do you guys think of this? Thoughtless and nasty or they just didn't think? I'm no longer working there now I left a few weeks ago but was talking to ex colleague earlier about it and she's had similar happen to her too and she said it was horrible of them to do that.

So as not to drip feed the ex colleague who got the cake and put the photo and msssage in is a two faced cow and she'd done things like this before but she really surpassed herself this time in my opinion.

OP posts:
JellyIegs · 27/11/2023 13:31

They sound like pricks. Be glad you’ve left and don’t give it another thought.

Menomeno · 27/11/2023 14:41

On the morning of my 10th birthday I feel off a climbing frame and broke my nose. I spent the rest of the day in casualty with my Dad. Back then not everyone was on the phone, so my mum couldn’t cancel my party. I arrived home from hospital to find that my party had gone ahead in my absence. Everything was gone, including my birthday cake which had been wrapped up and sent home with my friends. Even I didn’t to take it to heart this much. You’re a grown woman, put it behind you!

MargotBamborough · 27/11/2023 15:20

Menomeno · 27/11/2023 14:41

On the morning of my 10th birthday I feel off a climbing frame and broke my nose. I spent the rest of the day in casualty with my Dad. Back then not everyone was on the phone, so my mum couldn’t cancel my party. I arrived home from hospital to find that my party had gone ahead in my absence. Everything was gone, including my birthday cake which had been wrapped up and sent home with my friends. Even I didn’t to take it to heart this much. You’re a grown woman, put it behind you!

That's not the same situation at all though, is it?

Geneve82 · 27/11/2023 16:50

MargotBamborough · 27/11/2023 15:20

That's not the same situation at all though, is it?

Show quote history

no, it’s many times worse than the OP’s scenario!

MargotBamborough · 27/11/2023 16:58

Geneve82 · 27/11/2023 16:50

no, it’s many times worse than the OP’s scenario!

Show quote history

Is it?

The party was planned and there was no way of cancelling it. The alternative would have been sending a bunch of ten year olds away when they showed up.

In the OP's scenario they deliberately brought in cake to celebrate her birthday in her absence. That's fucking odd. They could have waited until she was back or just eaten cake and not pretended it was anything to do with her birthday.

Geneve82 · 27/11/2023 17:16

there was no way of cancelling it.

contact the parents and explain birthday girl in a&e

happened to my friends. very last minute. She only received supportive messages wishing him well and saying not to worry about the party

Geneve82 · 27/11/2023 17:17

In the OP's scenario they deliberately brought in cake to celebrate her birthday in her absence.

no the OP thinks that’s what they did

but if you have a look at the Op’s history, this is not the first colleague or friend that she has ascribed ask is yet motivations to

WhatYouWearing · 27/11/2023 17:30

@WickedWitchOfTheEast87 I get exactly what you are saying. The person who arranged that did it out of spite and probably think they're 'hilarious'. All the other people in the office who join in with this shit are too afraid to go against people like this in case they become a target.

It's not normal behaviour and I'm not surprised someone else is now bearing the brunt since you had the sense to get the hell out!

A normal response would have been to message you happy birthday and send cake to you. Just being a load of arseholes. Now let it go Flowers

Staceymom · 27/11/2023 17:46

Wow! You really need to let this go….

Menomeno · 27/11/2023 18:07

Geneve82 · 27/11/2023 17:16

there was no way of cancelling it.

contact the parents and explain birthday girl in a&e

happened to my friends. very last minute. She only received supportive messages wishing him well and saying not to worry about the party

It was 1985. Hardly anyone on our estate had the luxury of a phone and even if they had have, my mum wouldn’t have had contact numbers for my friends parents. This was back in the days when we’d just go out to play in the morning and not come back till teatime.

Juststopamoment · 27/11/2023 18:17

I think it’s weird. Thank goodness you don’t work there anymore!

Shyam35 · 27/11/2023 18:26

You really need to get a life it was earlier this year, you were also off sick. I've never known a cake to be so offensive. The world doesn't evolve around you, get a grip.

WhatYouWearing · 27/11/2023 18:35

@Shyam35 can't you read? You sound like the workplace bully in the OP.

Myotherrideisabroom · 27/11/2023 18:43

My birthday is in December. At my previous job, I would duly put into everyones birthday collections, then no one would put into mine, or our teams would be shifted around in October/November. I stopped doing it eventually, it's bad enough having a December birthday and your own family being too busy to acknowledge it, never mind expecting colleagues to acknowledge it.

My current job, we have a proper 'birthday club' where we all still put in our money, regardless where we are moved to etc so we all still get our present/cash.

anon666 · 27/11/2023 18:57

I think you're being oversensitive/overthinking it but I'm not party to the back story.

I would do my utmost to shrug it off. Most people will have had no idea it would hurt your feelings and I would try not to give the bitchy one the satisfaction!

One thing is intriguing me - who bought and paid for the cake?

WhatYouWearing · 27/11/2023 18:59

That sounds better @Myotherrideisabroom

Some posters on here are really struggling with the concept of arsehole work colleagues. Makes me wonder how they act at work if they think this is acceptable. 🤔

MargotBamborough · 27/11/2023 19:03

Geneve82 · 27/11/2023 17:17

In the OP's scenario they deliberately brought in cake to celebrate her birthday in her absence.

no the OP thinks that’s what they did

but if you have a look at the Op’s history, this is not the first colleague or friend that she has ascribed ask is yet motivations to

Edited

She says they knew she was off sick though.

Even if they had brought the cake in thinking she was going to be there they could have just eaten it and she'd have been none the wiser.

Ilovecleaning · 27/11/2023 19:11

Thankfully, I worked in a profession for many years where colleagues would never act like this. It seems that some work places are full of arseholes.

Sillyname63 · 27/11/2023 21:14

As they say " what goes around comes around" Did you have an exit interview? Perhaps then would have been then find to have mentioned the low level bullying that goes on.

T1Dmama · 27/11/2023 23:54

Forget about it… they’re your ex colleagues now, and just
think how much better off you are without them and forget about them!

Housenoob · 28/11/2023 09:31

Were you 'breezy' like Monica from Friends breezy?

Pogue4Life · 28/11/2023 11:49

I think if you didn’t say anything when it happened, you can’t really complain about it now, yea by all means you probably are still upset about their behaviour but what good is that doing so you. Move on and try not to let cruel nasty people get you down.

Staceymom · 06/12/2023 18:12

Gah cant help thinkin, you pommie Sheilas do like ta whinge!

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