Excluded At My Own Birthday 'Celebration'

[WickedWitchOfTheEast87]

So before I start this happened early this year, I was off sick from work for 5 weeks and my birthday was during the time I was off but as I was sick I was stuck at home.

During the day messages were coming through on the work group chat with photos of a birthday cake and a message that it was for my birthday. No one wished me happy birthday but messages followed how lovely the cake was and thanking the colleague who got the cake which I didn't get to try! AIBU to think that was really cheeky and I was upset at the time I was basically excluded from my own birthday! I'm now just pissed off at the fact they basically made my birthday an excuse for cake and then had the nerve to send photos in the group chat of it knowing I would see it, when I did return to work no card or present despite me always paying towards other people's birthday's. What do you guys think of this? Thoughtless and nasty or they just didn't think? I'm no longer working there now I left a few weeks ago but was talking to ex colleague earlier about it and she's had similar happen to her too and she said it was horrible of them to do that.

So as not to drip feed the ex colleague who got the cake and put the photo and msssage in is a two faced cow and she'd done things like this before but she really surpassed herself this time in my opinion.

So you said nothing to the cake /pictures on the chat

They prob think you are very rude

I think this is one of the wierder things I've read on here.

And they didn't even try to get the cake to you? No birthday wishes. Extremely weird behaviour.

You're better off now you're out of there.

I would just ignore and keep in mind that colleagues are just colleagues. They’re not your real life or your real friends.

🙄
I didn’t guess the cake though, did I?
I guessed that the OP’s favourite cake is a cake that is a favourite with many.
I may be wrong, but maths says I have a good chance of being right 🤷🏻‍♀️

If indeed this were done maliciously and her aim was to get under your skin then she's really succeeded.

You're right you didn't specify the type of cake, you guessed that OP's favourite cake was half the Nations favourite cake. If I said I had a favourite type of cake I like for my Birthday. Would you guess my favourite was half the Nations?

Missed the flavour of cake

What was it

OP, let it go. Let them eat cake.

Buy yourself an entire cake and eat it too.

A guess would be that it's half the Nations favourite.

Chocolate
Victoria sponge

Tho I like banana or lemon drizzle 😂

Mine is Black Gorest Gateaux.

I bet they had an even bigger cake when you left.

The only cake I can bake is a banana cake everyone trying to guess is very amusing 🤣 so I shall reveal that it was a jam sponge cake with buttercream icing probably very popular but the one cake I enjoy and is my favourite

Mini blondes and i made banana cake today

how many other colleagues were involved in the birthday “celebration”?

what a weird nasty yoke your ex-colleague was, anyway free of her now, so put it behind you, but it wasn't normal and done with any good intentions (seems of lot of posters would fall for it though).

From what I could tell of the photos at least 5 others. The message basically said my ex colleague we'll call her B was "I've got a cake for WickedWitch's birthday enjoy everyone" with some emjoi's, photos of the cake and a few balloons, my colleagues then messaged thank's the cake was lovely and how nice it was of her to do that" followed by 😊😊 from B and a couple of colleagues praising her for being thoughtful then photos of the others with cake and smiling that was it. I acted completely normal when I went back to work I didn't mention it, I was breezy and got on with my work although I did notice B and two other colleagues were slightly cold with me everyone else was ok so it could be as another poster suggested annoyance because I was off but that was out of my control.

so 5 colleagues seem to dislike you very much and / or be insanely thoughtless and / or thick?

I never need an excuse for 🍰

💪

carrot cake, what about carrot cake??

The messages were obviously directed at yo7 to let you know they were thinking of you on your birthday. The rest of them were there and didn’t need a message in the WhatsApp! When you didn’t reply they assumed you weren’t well enough to engage, but balloons and a cake and pictures of it were clearly directed at you. Your reaction is bonkers.

You seem to be over thinking things. It's quite possible the cake was arranged before hand. Definitely so if its a landmark birthday.
How were you seeing these messages? Personal WhatsApp? Fine. Work Teams? Well you shouldn't be looking really if you're off sick.
Could the real issue be that you thought some of your work colleagues were closer friends than they actually are and had hoped for a personal card/visit? It's not unusual for people who are off sick to be 'ignored' especially if you're off with mental ill health, as any contact especially wishing you get well soon could be seen as harassment.

I'd be upset at the lack of card yes but you wasn't excluded you was ill

Why on earth would you still be fretting about this when it happened ages ago and you don't even work there any more? Just move on.

Were you off work for mental health reasons? Your interpretation of this is askew. Dwelling on it a long time later is also not a good sign.