Excluded At My Own Birthday 'Celebration'

[WickedWitchOfTheEast87]

So before I start this happened early this year, I was off sick from work for 5 weeks and my birthday was during the time I was off but as I was sick I was stuck at home.

During the day messages were coming through on the work group chat with photos of a birthday cake and a message that it was for my birthday. No one wished me happy birthday but messages followed how lovely the cake was and thanking the colleague who got the cake which I didn't get to try! AIBU to think that was really cheeky and I was upset at the time I was basically excluded from my own birthday! I'm now just pissed off at the fact they basically made my birthday an excuse for cake and then had the nerve to send photos in the group chat of it knowing I would see it, when I did return to work no card or present despite me always paying towards other people's birthday's. What do you guys think of this? Thoughtless and nasty or they just didn't think? I'm no longer working there now I left a few weeks ago but was talking to ex colleague earlier about it and she's had similar happen to her too and she said it was horrible of them to do that.

So as not to drip feed the ex colleague who got the cake and put the photo and msssage in is a two faced cow and she'd done things like this before but she really surpassed herself this time in my opinion.

That's fighting talk.

My daughter went into labor and delivered a week early. Her work baby shower had been scheduled for the following Monday. The baby was jaundiced so stayed an extra day in the hospital, but the company didn't wait and held the shower without her. When she went by on the way home, there were some presents, empty snack food dishes and a weirdly-shaped chunk of cake left in the break room.

I guess her labor and delivery inconvenienced them.

“the cake which was my favourite ironically”

That’s not what irony is.
I’m also going to guess that your favourite is half the nation’s favourite 🤷🏻‍♀️

You know this person has form - so yes, it sounds deliberate and nasty from that one individual.

But the others? The photos were acknowledging your birthday. You ignored them. Had you replied, “oooooh, missed out on my favourite cake - glad you’re enjoying it!” you might actually have got a, “yeah - hope you have a happy birthday and have cake lined up too!” reply.

No wonder they didn’t repeat the birthday celebration when you got back - you ignored them all, they probably thought you had the arse over it.

Also, you say it was your birthday celebration.
It wasn’t.
It’s an office tradition designed to alleviate boredom and possibly create some kind of team bond. It’s not about celebrating that individual.

Ha! I'd rather have a warm sausage roll than a cake ANY day of the week (and that's not a euphemism) 😋

A Birthday celebration isn't about celebrating the persons Birthday. I've heard it all now.😂

Thank you this has made me 🤣 when I next speak to my friend I'll have a laugh with her over this!

I used to work in an office where the person whose birthday it was would buy a yard, sometimes 2 yards of pasty from the local bakers, and everyone would get a slice. It was fab. I miss those days.

@Testina
If you can guess what OP's favourite cake is, can you guess mine too? Is it a gift you have. Are you the 7th daughter of a 7th daughter?

You have allowed this colleague to achieve precisely what you suspect she wanted - to enrage and upset you.

It's not cheeky, they don't owe you a cake, it wasn't your cake.

It's just odd.

Concentrate on the fact that they're the ones being really odd.

Better off out of it

Work birthday cake is always just an excuse for cake.

You are making too much of this

Yeah I'll do this in future for sure. I'm not upset now I was at the time but it came up in conversation last night because the same person tried to exclude another colleague from their work xmas do because she's too loud, I know this colleague yeah she is a bit loud but she's really nice, good at her job and when you've handled difficult client she'll find a way to make you laugh that's when what happened with my birthday came up in the conversation and I felt annoyed and wondered what others would think about it.

It’s not at work though, it’s just a handy excuse for cake

It sounds a bit like they couldn't win either way.

They could have either ignored your birthday entirely - which you'd have been upset about.
Or they could have done what they did, got a cake in and sent you a pic. Surely that was just their way of saying they were thinking of you and wishing you well??

Honestly, let it go. It sounds like you'll be happier for it. Plus you don't even work there any more. Stop grinding over old grievances and concentrate on the here and now.

I cannot imagine being concerned my colleagues had a cake without me and didn't wish me happy birthday. They are my colleagues, relationships should be professional only. You have also left the company now. In the nicest possible way you need to let this go, it seems bonkers that a grown woman worries about who had cake and shared it on whatsapp.

Or a different option. Send Birthday wishes on WhatsApp on the day and have a belated celebration with cake on her return.

I could r resist a cheeky AS

Sure enough

the OP has loads of posts and even a couple of threads about ex colleagues being cheeky fuckers or rude

or whether to ditch one friend or another

on and on whinging

Some of these responses are stranger than the actual event.
Who really wouldn’t be slightly put out by this happening? No actual birthday message just a photo of a cake OP can’t enjoy! That’s weird.

Unless….Were they pissed off that you’d been off sick for weeks and they were having to pick up the slack? Either way it doesn’t sound like they actually liked you. You did the right thing by leaving.

It would have been nicer if they could have arranged for the cake to be delivered to your home (assuming your illness didn't prevent you from eating cake - and combining that with wishing you a happy birthday via group chat. Enjoying the cake without you and sending pics of them doing it doesn't sit right with me. I would be wondering if there was an undercurrent of being skeptical about your long sick leave.

Grow up. Most people that come on Mumsnet is to have a whinge.

If you’d only been off 2weeks surely it was ordered before then? And you’re an hour away so not as if they could drop it round.

It is pretty bizarre they got a cake when they KNEW you where off. Like its not a public holiday.

Oh yes, I would be winning "my colleagues are weirder than yours" chats for YEARS with this little episode

There's a difference between being excluded and just not being around at the material time!