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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that you shouldn’t choose to rent an upstairs 2 bed flat if you have 4 noisy kids

405 replies

shatteredmama · 25/11/2023 14:51

Just after your thoughts. We rent a ground floor flat, we expect to hear some of the usual sounds of upstairs neighbours such as footsteps, doors closing, washing machine, Hoover, the odd thud. Am absolutely fine with that.

A new couple moved into the flat upstairs, normal neighbour noises could be heard. No problem with that. Soon after they told me they had lied to our landlord and that it won’t just be the two of them, their 4 boys from the ages of 2 -11 would be coming over from their home country and living in that flat with them. Theirs is a 2 bedroom flat, no outside space, our flats are converted from 1 house. As she told me this she laughed and her exact words were oh you’ll know when they’ve arrived. Things are going to get very noisy!

Since the kids moved in the noise levels are ridiculous. Constant loud bangs, thuds, shouting, squealing, we can hear them running up and down their flat. It isn’t occasional. It’s all day every day as not all of them attend school.

I know kids make noise. On a couple of occasions I’ve knocked on and as nicely and politely as possible explained how it’s impacting us. For example when my child was crying and couldn’t go to sleep at bedtime because all the kids in the room above were jumping off the sofa onto the floor, our lampshade was swinging from the impact. At other times they’ve all been running and screeching so loud it sounds as though they are actually in our flat with us. The neighbours have then shrugged, argued back and said they’d try to keep the noise down but there’s nothing they can do.

I don’t know what we can do other than move out ourselves, but with the housing crisis the way it is, it wouldn’t be easy. I feel angry that they lied to get the tenancy and moved the family in knowing that it would disturb us and make our lives difficult.

Would any of you say I’m justified in feeling this way, any practical advice you’d give?

OP posts:
LBFseBrom · 27/11/2023 16:53

Tessabelle74 · 27/11/2023 14:16

Damn straight they CHOSE! They chose to rent a 2 bed, they chose to lie to the landlord, they then chose to bring kids over from another country to that flat . At what point was ANY of that not a choice THEY made?

Show quote history

How do you know they lied to the landlord? They probably viewed the flat with the two children that were with them and no more was said, or asked. Either that or the landlord doesn't care as long as the rent is paid.

LBFseBrom · 27/11/2023 16:56

shatteredmama · 25/11/2023 16:03

Dweetfidilove

You’ve pretty much summed up how I’m feeling, thank you. Those poor boys only ever seem to leave the flat to go to school, and that’s the ones old enough to go. I actually feel really sorry for them. They never get taken to the park or anywhere to let off steam.

You obviously observe them closely, I've never noticed what my neighbours do or don't know, when they go out, etc, and I doubt they take any notice of me.

Do you not like these people? You talked to them at one point.

lollipoprainbow · 27/11/2023 17:01

Mum gets a job in a new location, moves to said location alone to find accommodation while dad or other family sort things out in the old place before coming to join her? Maybe the timing was related to the kids' schooling? Maybe it was related to their dad also needing to find a job locally before they could all move? Maybe there are other family circumstances that you know nothing about?

Did you miss the part where the OP said a couple have moved in?? So clearly the dad wasn't sorting things out.

PinotViogner · 27/11/2023 17:01

@PTSDBarbiegirl OP said they came over from another country and then in a follow up claimed she was trying to be careful with her wording to not seem racist or xenophobic. I'd imagine if the family was white she would have just clarified that.

Accusing these people of being child traffickers is repulsive either way though. What an assumption to make on absolutely nothing.

lollipoprainbow · 27/11/2023 17:03

@LBFseBrom If my neighbors were making my life hell, id follow closely when they are were out so I could enjoy the peace

PinotViogner · 27/11/2023 17:05

lollipoprainbow · 27/11/2023 17:01

Mum gets a job in a new location, moves to said location alone to find accommodation while dad or other family sort things out in the old place before coming to join her? Maybe the timing was related to the kids' schooling? Maybe it was related to their dad also needing to find a job locally before they could all move? Maybe there are other family circumstances that you know nothing about?

Did you miss the part where the OP said a couple have moved in?? So clearly the dad wasn't sorting things out.

She was literally just throwing around numerous possibilities of why families would be separated for a brief period. You could just own up to being wrong instead of trying to pick apart one of the many reasons you were given.

PTSDBarbiegirl · 27/11/2023 17:07

PinotViogner · 27/11/2023 17:01

@PTSDBarbiegirl OP said they came over from another country and then in a follow up claimed she was trying to be careful with her wording to not seem racist or xenophobic. I'd imagine if the family was white she would have just clarified that.

Accusing these people of being child traffickers is repulsive either way though. What an assumption to make on absolutely nothing.

I didn't see the follow up you mentioned, I responded to the OP. No accusation made, I mentioned the possibility. The reason I mentioned the possibility is it happens. Why would 4 children suddenly appear yet are not sent to school. In 2022 7019 children were identified as trafficked in England and Wales (National Referral Mechanism Statistics, 2022).

PinotViogner · 27/11/2023 17:08

Based on OPs threads on this site it's more likely she was watching them closely because she's just a straight up troublemaker but whatever you choose to believe is fine.

I for one am too wrapped up in my own life to keep tabs on my neighbours but hey ho. Even more creepy when you consider that they've made it clear that they don't particularly like OP.

Tessabelle74 · 27/11/2023 17:13

PinotViogner · 27/11/2023 14:31

Yep and these choices were very likely made in the same spirit as people who chose to prioritise buying food over heating. Or people who chose to give up their beloved pet because they could no longer afford to look after them. Welcome to the allegedly 'developed first world' Britain in 2023.

It's almost as if everywhere you look people are being forced to make choices that absolutely break their hearts and crush them because in reality there is no other choice. Do get a grip.

Show quote history

Keep on telling yourself that. Lots of selfish behaviour is CHOICE. if you HAD to choose to live where they do, then CHOOSE to be decent humans and tell your kids to behave. They've made choices to be shit neighbours, no excuses for that

PinotViogner · 27/11/2023 17:13

@PTSDBarbiegirl OP said that the younger two don't go to school presumably because they're too young for schooling. The older two do. I'm not denying the existence of child trafficking but it's a very uncalled for thing to throw into this conversation. Especially since you clearly haven't read enough of the thread to know your facts (not that I blame you at this point given how long and full of brain cell deficient numpties it's become)

mycatcontrolsmylife · 27/11/2023 17:18

@Tessabelle74 why do you assume that the neighbours aren't telling the children to behave? It's not like kids, especially toddlers, are known for being the best listeners so she's likely tried. For how annoying it is for OP if this woman is living in that flat then I imagine shes feeling even more bothered by the noise.

PTSDBarbiegirl · 27/11/2023 17:29

PinotViogner · 27/11/2023 17:13

@PTSDBarbiegirl OP said that the younger two don't go to school presumably because they're too young for schooling. The older two do. I'm not denying the existence of child trafficking but it's a very uncalled for thing to throw into this conversation. Especially since you clearly haven't read enough of the thread to know your facts (not that I blame you at this point given how long and full of brain cell deficient numpties it's become)

Okay, thanks. I am hypervidulent re this issue due to employment so would always be suspicious of scenarios like this. I haven't made any accusations and I don't care if the family are black or white, it happens and it's important to be aware of that.

minicheddars87 · 27/11/2023 17:34

All of ops posts have made it onto Reddits MumsnetTrolls subreddit 😂😂

I imagine shes loving all the xenophobia she's whipped up here. Regardless of what side your on here I think you're all being royally trolled

BeggyMitchell · 27/11/2023 17:37

minicheddars87 · 27/11/2023 16:03

Well I rather selfishly and cruelly had four entire children so you can sit and spin 😉

While the rest of us pursue our own versions of what happiness is you can be a good little snowflake patting yourself on the back on your deathbed for how oh so very good you are for not being like all those other savages and being so very selfless. The rest of us will just be happily fulfilled, thanks😂

Op its indeed pretty terrible that these evil not even propah British bastards "chose" to live above you so if I were you I'd go choose to live in a lovely big penthouse suite far away from such selfishness. Hope this helps, thoughts and prayers. 🤘

I take it OP touched a nerve.

PinotViogner · 27/11/2023 17:43

@BeggyMitchell I thought that was a right laugh 🤣

PinotViogner · 27/11/2023 17:45

*laugh

Lolalady · 27/11/2023 17:45

Doesn’t sound like the parents are doing anything to keep their children under control. Growing up I lived in an upstairs maisonette and had it drummed into me about making too much noise as the lady downstairs was disabled. I appreciate keeping 4 boys quiet is hard but they could be taught an element of respect and consideration. Sadly we are all supposed to put up with these entitled children. I would speak to the landlord. Check your tenancy agreement. I expect there is a clause which says you have the right to quiet enjoyment of the premises.

minicheddars87 · 27/11/2023 17:47

😂🍷😂

lollipoprainbow · 27/11/2023 17:58

PinotViogner · 27/11/2023 17:43

@BeggyMitchell I thought that was a right laugh 🤣

Edited

You would

minicheddars87 · 27/11/2023 18:03

lollipoprainbow · 27/11/2023 17:58

You would

Show quote history

Wow the xenophobes and we-want-to-control-womens bodies crowd are getting touchy these days 🤣🤣 you creeps at least used to have a sense of humour

NeverDropYourMooncup · 27/11/2023 18:11

WinterWarmth · 26/11/2023 18:18

This is not a situation where a family has had to downsize/struggled to find a big enough property after losing their last home for whatever reason, this a couple who moved over here without being able to adequately house their family.

Their children obviously had another home in their country if they arrived 4 months after their parents. They shouldn’t have brought them over until they could afford to house them. They’re not asylum seekers, sounds like economic migrants.

The OP and her landlord should not be negatively impacted by their choices. As for telling them to go the council, why on earth should the council house them?

Inform your landlord OP in writing stating what you were told about them lying that they had no kids, the noise and that they are not interested in your requests to be quieter. There will definitely be additional wear and tear from 4 kids the landlord didn’t know about so I doubt landlord will be happy.

If they’ve been there over 6 months, landlord can probably give Section 21 notice with no reason needed.

You think they should send the children back to where they came from?

Tessabelle74 · 27/11/2023 19:07

mycatcontrolsmylife · 27/11/2023 17:18

@Tessabelle74 why do you assume that the neighbours aren't telling the children to behave? It's not like kids, especially toddlers, are known for being the best listeners so she's likely tried. For how annoying it is for OP if this woman is living in that flat then I imagine shes feeling even more bothered by the noise.

Did you not read what the neighbour said before the kids even got there? Who finds it funny that their kids are going to be so noisy the neighbours will know they're there?

Socksforxmas · 27/11/2023 19:20

If she seems unwilling to sort things between two of you then your next step would be to contact the LL but bear in mind she'll no doubt know that you're behind it which may cause further problems so it's your call if you want to risk that.

Was the family being from another country really relevant to mention? On mumsnet it seems a given that that would attract the undesirables to your thread.

Tessabelle74 · 27/11/2023 20:08

LBFseBrom · 27/11/2023 16:53

How do you know they lied to the landlord? They probably viewed the flat with the two children that were with them and no more was said, or asked. Either that or the landlord doesn't care as long as the rent is paid.

Show quote history

If only you could be bothered to read the VERY FIRST POST

CarrotCake01 · 27/11/2023 20:18

I think it sounds really annoying and I'd be pissed off too but I also don't feel like you can tell someone they can't live in an upstairs flat if they have young children.
They probably didn't turn down a luxurious, mansion to be there, they probably didn't have a lot of choice.

But, you shouldn't have to deal with excessive, unacceptable volumes of noise pollution either. As you haven't done anything wrong and you're entitled to a fair amount of quiet in your own home.

I'd say maybe speak to your landlord and see what they suggest?