To tell DH that MIL has got me a Christmas present i will have to get rid of?

[haribosmarties]

Or does that seem ungrateful? Its only a low cost item. Should I just pretend to like it?
DH told me the ILs were asking about gifts for us so I told him a brand of toiletries I like of which you can buy various gift sets between a tenner and twenty quid.
I borrowed DH phone whilst we were out and as I was using it a txt message came in from MIL saying she had forgotten what he'd said and just bought a Dove body set for me and would that be ok?
I handed back the phone to my DH without mentioning seeing the message.
Issue is I have eczema and altho its not severe it does flair up with random things.. Dove shower cream, soap and body wash are amongst those things. Ive tried using them before.

So now I dont know whether just to pretend to like the gift when I open it or to tell my DH that I saw the text and its not suitable.
I know these seems like a petty issue but my relationship with MIL has never been great... I mean we've never actively fallen out... but basically she doesnt like me anyway I can tell, and we have very little to do with each other.. I get the sense she thinks I'm high maintenance.. saying something about this gift might add to that.
My DH won't have any advice, he'd probably just tell her to change the gift because interpersonal dynamics go over his head quite often unless people are actively shouting at each other. He also hasnt mentioned the text to me which makes me think he's just replied 'that's fine' and forgotten about it

YANBU= just tell your husband to answer the text saying its not ok and she should change it for something else

YABU = dont say anything. It doesnt really matter, just give it away to someone.

Yes I know I probably should have said something as soon as I saw the text but I just didn't. I struggle with being thought of as difficult so my first response to anything like that is to freeze and then think about it carefully.

HNRTFT but I think you should just accept and say thank you. It is something that the majority of people do every year !

And what I need to add to my above post, when seeing each other bring a fancy tea/coffee/biscuits/cheese/pudding/wine/spirit/ or whatever to share together rather than a pointless token gift. Christmas is about family after all

@Jk987 I know the password for my husbands phone, he knows mine. Why wouldn't we know each others?
We use each others phone if we need to from time to time.

Just say thanks and then donate it.

Accept it and then rewrap it and gift it back to her next time.

MIL got me a bottle of dove shower gel for Christmas once, I was underwhelmed to say the least.

Fair enough but I can never understand it. Being in couple shouldn't mean you share your phone and all your messages etc. You're still a separate being!

@Jk987 it's just a phone - not secret government nuclear codes.

I agree that you sound like a nightmare to buy presents for !

So what happens next year when MIL thinks you like to receive a Dove gift set for Christmas because you thanked her so nicely this year?

And for the next 40 Christmases?

@creativegoblin the OP told her husband a specific brand she likes and doesn't effect her skin.
How on earth is that "a nightmare to buy presents for"? All they need to do is buy that brand.

For 10 years my MIL has got me Baylis and Harding sets. My DH has told her they give me horrific itchyness (the level of scent gives me thrush)

Every year the sodding box arrives and I regift it! She has a really poor memory in fairness but I hate the stuff!

It’s dove, not even scented or anything so could your dh not just use it? Since it’s quite a standard daily use shower product? I would do that - no need to donate just tell him to use it up, not really a big deal

Surely you just say thank you, how kind and then put it in the charity shop? Never make a big deal about presents, it’s not worth the aggro

Think you are making a mountain out of a molehill. Just do what every other person does, re-gift it or donate it.

Just accept it, pretend you love it then either regift in the future or donate it.

My MIL bought me a gin gift set 2 Christmas’s ago, I hate gin. I pretended to love it and my husband drank it. I was pregnant last Christmas but I’m half expecting gin again this year, it is what it is. 🤷‍♀️

Just smile and say thank you. I’m sure you can think of someone to give it to or drop it in at the local food bank. Would you give back presents you don’t like if they were given to you by other people?

So many fucking ungrateful bitches on here. How dare you say any gift is thoughtless.
Why don't you just all tell your MIL's not to fucking bother.
It's why I don't ever buy presents for adults. Nothings ever good enough.

@Fizzadora or rather this is why in my family we do wish lists and actually follow them.

@Fizzadora and it is "thoughtless" if the gift is unusable due to medical reasons (like in this case).

Tbh I have a skin condition and my ils bought me dove stuff all the time because its supposed to be kind to skin. Would just say thank you and give it away

How much thought goes into a dove body set?😂

Not using a product that gives you an allergy is not ungrateful either

Why on earth would you think that? That's nothing in the OP's post to suggest that.

I honestly wonder about posters who deliberately twist innocuous posts in order to put the worst possible spin on someone's intentions (especially if the subject is a MIL)

As a pp said, why can't OP's DH or DC use it?

Does MIL even know that OP has eczema, and that Dove is not good for her skin? I have used Dove in the past when I've had rashes due to the fact that it is a lot more gentle than many other products. How can the gift be "thoughtless" if MIL doesn't have all the facts.

Such a fuss over nothing.

@ithinkthatmaybeimdreaming yes the MIL might not know. In fact she asked the husband "is this ok?".
So why on earth can the OP or her husband just not TELL HER ?
One simple conversation.....