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Original poster

Husband left kids alone at home

509 replies

OhDamnYourEyes · 25/11/2023 00:32

I just came back home after a night out with friends, which was arranged a week ago. Husband was going to be home with the kids (8 & 11), put them to bed etc.

Yesterday he asked what time I was likely to be back, as a friend had asked him to go out for a drink. I said that I wasn’t sure, but not until fairly late. As a joke I said ‘you won’t just go out and leave them, will you’ and he laughted and said ‘of course not’.

Fast forward to tonight, I come home at 23:45, kids asleep, he’s not here. When I call him, he’s at his friends house (ca. 15 mins away) for a drink.

We had recently discussed starting to leave them home alone for short periods every now and then, and once went out together to a birthday nearby from 8-10.30pm (we couldn’t get a babysitter and gave them a phone to call us if they needed to). I did however say that I feel they are actually a bit to young for this, and that while I think it’s ok to go to the shops for an hour in the daytime and leave them, I don’t feel comfortable doing so at night.

I had a massive go at him over the phone, told him that he’s irresponsible and that I don’t want to see him. What would you do?

OP posts:
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7
Behindyouiam · 07/12/2023 20:09

CascaandZoe · 05/12/2023 22:41

Sorry, I don't believe children under the age of 12 should be left alone under any circumstances. They don't have the maturity yet to respond properly in the event of an emergency. I would be very uncomfortable doing this, and in Canada where I lived for a while it is actually illegal to do so.

I believe OP is uk based

AvengedQuince · 07/12/2023 20:10

Behindyouiam · 07/12/2023 20:08

What's the relevance?

Show quote history

Irrelevant to me. The child was three. These are older children.

Behindyouiam · 07/12/2023 20:11

Sazzie12153007 · 04/12/2023 20:32

I have mixed opinions on this one! I have an 11 and 8 year old and have to leave them every so often on their own due to having to go to work yo provide for them... I am a single parent with no support whatsoever off dad. My friend directly opposite my house is always on hand in case of emergency and they both have phones to call if needed. I check on them several times during the day via call or get a family member to check on them in person if they are able to.

However, I would never dream of leaving them alone at night or while I went out drinking or even round to a friend's for a brew at night no way.

I only leave them as I have to work which I hate doing hence why I'm looking for another job.

Also I have spoken to people in authority about the legal age to leave a child alone and they said there isn't a legal age anymore it is the parents best judgement if it's not for too long and the child is responsible enough to do this

Edited

I get this morally, you feel better if they've been left as you're working. But really the risks are the same if you're working or socialising.

Danger won't hold back because you're not socialising.

Behindyouiam · 07/12/2023 20:11

Agreed @AvengedQuince

Jomasell · 08/12/2023 10:21

A distance that took 30 seconds to get back to the child. They went back to check on her and she was gone. A risk is a risk and this is a huge one with your most precious....i was going to say possession but thats the wrong word

Jomasell · 08/12/2023 10:23

Plus although theres not a legal age, you can still be done for leaving a child. 8 is far too young and if something went wrong social svcs would decend in 2 minutes.

Bandofbrothers · 11/12/2023 08:42

You only have to read the news about the house fire in Sutton where 4 little boys died - their mother had gone to the shop after she’d put them to bed. Tragedy can happen in minutes.

G5000 · 11/12/2023 13:19

Just wondering about the risk assesment here. If I post that I'm going to shopping centre with my 8 and 11to kids, would people also reply "Think about James Bulger!" No? How's that different than posting "McCann" on this thread?

Meepspeeps · 10/03/2025 12:44

I know this is an old thread but to put an 11 year old in charge of n 8 year old is unfair. Your children should always come first. No babysitter, then don't go out, simple.

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