Husband left kids alone at home

[OhDamnYourEyes]

I just came back home after a night out with friends, which was arranged a week ago. Husband was going to be home with the kids (8 & 11), put them to bed etc.

Yesterday he asked what time I was likely to be back, as a friend had asked him to go out for a drink. I said that I wasn’t sure, but not until fairly late. As a joke I said ‘you won’t just go out and leave them, will you’ and he laughted and said ‘of course not’.

Fast forward to tonight, I come home at 23:45, kids asleep, he’s not here. When I call him, he’s at his friends house (ca. 15 mins away) for a drink.

We had recently discussed starting to leave them home alone for short periods every now and then, and once went out together to a birthday nearby from 8-10.30pm (we couldn’t get a babysitter and gave them a phone to call us if they needed to). I did however say that I feel they are actually a bit to young for this, and that while I think it’s ok to go to the shops for an hour in the daytime and leave them, I don’t feel comfortable doing so at night.

I had a massive go at him over the phone, told him that he’s irresponsible and that I don’t want to see him. What would you do?

Junbean, he said he put them to bed at 9 and then went out at 10. I don’t think he would have told them that he was planning to go out.

Wow. Parents of the year.

My god. You left them home alone? Why? Just take them to the party or don't go. Now your husband has fucked off out and they're on their own after midnight. Poor kids

You were wrong previously. You set a dangerous precedent. You know this and have moved on. The current facts are that he has put his fun‘ before the safety and security of your children. He has disrespected you and proved himself a completely irresponsible father. For me, and I suspect a lot on here, putting my children in danger is not something you get to do twice. He would be gone. I wouldn’t let him back in the house. For good. Done.

Sorry OP. Ive got to unfollow thread. Its giving me panic attack!!!. What if those kids woke up... frightened no one was in?..omg. what if house was broken into whilst kids were alone... thinking dad was about?. Theyre asleep and there's a fire. No adult. I gotta go OP. Youve a problem...this means u cant leave husband with kids alone now...babysitter or nothing.

I couldn't be in a relationship with someone so fucking selfish.

He went out to drink knowing his kids could wake up to an empty home with no adults, with no warning. He doesn't give a shit about how horribly scary that would be for them. Let alone about the risks it causes.

I couldn't even look at him tbh.

I think that's too young, but don't understand why you had a go at him when you've done it yourself

Yeah I mean for me this is an absolute leave the bastard situation but given that you’ve done it before I’m not sure where this leaves you 🤷🏻‍♀️

You're fucking ridiculous and responsible for how this has played out. You took the complete piss leaving them like that and set a precedent for him to do so.
Give yourself a serious fucking shake.
The pair are you are completely stupid and irresponsible. You deserve what you're getting here. Your poor kids. Do spend some time pondering what could have happened, you should've done that well before now.
What next when you want some time off? I don’t believe that you'll actually learn from this.

We did check if they were ok with it or feeling worried about it and they were fine, otherwise we wouldn’t have done it.

^^

Re. They were fine with it

😳
This isn't their decision to make.

It's yours.

They are too young.

I would actually kick him out over this. He didn't tell them and he didn't tell you. Unforgivable.

I’d be really upset!! Let’s all stop bashing OP. Not saying what she did was right but she clearly said she wasn’t comfortable with it and hasn’t done it again.

The two situations are totally different. In the first scenario the kids were aware they were alone and had a way of contacting their parents. Walking out on your kids during the night is so different! I can’t imagine the kind of hysterics my 7 yr old would be in if he woke up and couldn’t find me!

You set a precedent, and this ridiculousness is the result.

You haven’t made it any better op. And they aren’t ok during the day either. Maybe the 11yr old alone if they are mature and sensible, but you can not leave an 11yr old in charge of an 8yr old beyond you going for a shower or maybe nipping next door to the shop or something. I live in a very safe area, I also have an 8yr old I wouldn’t be leaving.

I'm guessing all the judgmental, bitchy posters on here have never ever made a decision they later regretted? The OP has explained it was a mistake to leave them last time and had discussed with her husband that it should never happen again until the kids were older. She hasn't set a precedent and she doesn't need to give her head a shake (because she's already fucking done so ages ago).

Why is this board filled with semi-literate, nasty posters who like to make shit up in order to talk down to another person?

So they could have woken for any reason and found no parent in the house? That's neglect.

My husband’s neigbour was home with his kids when his wife was working the 3-11pm shift.

He decided he could go to the pub and he locked the kids in their mobile home.

It went on fire. DH’s friend who was a volunteer fireman, found both little boys bodies at the door where they were trying to get out. Worst night of his life.

Don’t leave young kids home alone, ever and especially not when they’re asleep.

"I'm guessing all the judgmental, bitchy posters on here have never ever made a decision they later regretted?"

Loads. None that involved sitting my kids down and asking them if they felt worried at all being alone because mummy and daddy wanted to go on the piss for a few hours. Judgemental is right in this situation.

I'm guessing all the judgmental, bitchy posters on here have never ever made a decision they later regretted? The OP has explained it was a mistake to leave them last time and had discussed with her husband that it should never happen again until the kids were older. She hasn't set a precedent and she doesn't need to give her head a shake (because she's already fucking done so ages ago). Why is this board filled with semi-literate, nasty posters who like to make shit up in order to talk down to another person?

Most parents don’t need to leave their young children home alone for 2.5 hours at night to work out if they are or aren’t comfortable with it. Most parents wouldn’t even consider it in the first place!

Fucking hell OP

8 and 11 wow what great parents you are...can I ask if the house went on fire who's going to sweep the kids ashes up heaven forbid...Some people should not be parents, selfish or what and tbh the night you've gone out that night your other half is the bad parent selfishly leaving to go drinking as your entitled to a might out but the other times your both horrendous..I'm glad me and my hubby aren't like this with any of our kids

And most parents (all parents) will make a mistake at some point. The important thing is they learn from it and do better - which is exactly what the OP has done.

At what point would he have checked on them? Or if you were home?

I hope someone saw and reports this because he clearly doesn't give a fuck what you think.

But the OP learnt from that and decided she would never do it again so why the need for so many to put the boot in here? Or is your life so empty you take any chance to feel morally superior?

And I'm sure you've done something at some point that has made your child worry.

Someone very close to me adopted a primary school aged child recently. Being left in the house alone while his birth “parents” went out on the piss is a huge part of his backstory. It is child neglect. Damn right this needs saying.