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Original poster

Partner not come home freaking out and angry

821 replies

annabel586 · 25/11/2023 00:05

My partner went for Christmas party with work last night, he was going to drive but called me about 7 saying he was getting a cab home at 10. He tried calling me twice about 9.30 but I was in the shower so missed the calls.

Been calling him back ever since and he's not answering at all- rings through to voicemail. This is VERY unlike him as he always keeps in touch and calls me back etc

I know it's only been a couple of hours but I'm going out of my mind with worry now. Sad I'm so angry but upset as well, I would never do this.

OP posts:
halfthesun · 25/11/2023 06:31

We share location with one another ... Google maps. I know too late now but for next time? 🕰️

Brightredtulips · 25/11/2023 06:35

Let him have a good night out. Hes been sensible not driving . He's probably fallen ason someone's couch. As long as he's safe.

losingthe · 25/11/2023 06:36

Probably asleep on someone's sofa as others have said, not the point though op as I'd be worried and angry by now too. Hopefully you hear something in the next few hours!

AhBiscuits · 25/11/2023 06:37

He's more than likely passed out drunk on a colleagues sofa. Hope you hear from him soon.

Bobtheamazinggingerdog · 25/11/2023 06:38

My XH used to do things like this all the time so I understand why you're triggered. I couldn't be with a man who drinks so much he loses his phone/forgets to come home. I just couldn't.

LoudSnoringDog · 25/11/2023 06:40

I think I would be pretty pissed off at my DP not coming home all night and not answering his phone.

Namechange4234 · 25/11/2023 06:43

Unless he's in hospital or a police cell he is a VERY selfish man. I'm really sorry you're going through this, OP

AllEars112232 · 25/11/2023 06:44

I really feel for you OP. Have you called the police at all? You could report this via the non emergency line then if he’s had an issue they might be able to put things together.
if he’s just drunk with colleagues then no harm done reporting it.
I hope he’s home soon and it’s all been a big mistake .
.

Scarydinosaurs · 25/11/2023 06:45

Given how you said he would also worry this is incredibly unfair.

I hope you have a better day and an answer. I agree going to your mum’s is for the best. Does he have his own place too, or are you living together full time?

bengalcat · 25/11/2023 06:49

offload on your mum and have a nice time at the Christmas market this evening ( he’ll have sobered up by then , even if you want to ‘ kill him ‘ ) - he clearly tried to contact you at 9.30 , presumably to communicate a change of plan but he could’ve texted his plan and one should always endeavour to keep phone charged ( DD teases me as I start to fret if below 80% - I do need to be contactable for work though ) .

AngryBird6122 · 25/11/2023 06:51

Really hope he gets in touch soon. DH did this once, got absolutely hammered and a colleague took him home with him. He regretted it very much and hasn't done anything like it since (he felt like shit the next day, both physically and mentally!) it's horrible, the worry. But I bet that's what has happened

Pelham678 · 25/11/2023 06:53

These threads happen regularly and they always turn up fine having left their partner feeling frantic.

Original poster
annabel586 · 25/11/2023 06:53

I keep switching between being furious and then feeling sick with worry.

Problem is now, if he says he's going to an event like this again I will now panic and worry immediately remembering this incident, so it's going to cause issues down the line

Time for a coffee now I think Brew

OP posts:
Original poster
annabel586 · 25/11/2023 06:54

Pelham678 · 25/11/2023 06:53

These threads happen regularly and they always turn up fine having left their partner feeling frantic.

Yeah I have noticed this and always felt so sorry for the people posting as it's hellish.

Why do so many people seem to think this is acceptable behaviour

OP posts:
Original poster
annabel586 · 25/11/2023 06:55

AllEars112232 · 25/11/2023 06:44

I really feel for you OP. Have you called the police at all? You could report this via the non emergency line then if he’s had an issue they might be able to put things together.
if he’s just drunk with colleagues then no harm done reporting it.
I hope he’s home soon and it’s all been a big mistake .
.

I might consider doing this in a bit or hopefully they will be able to tell me if he's been arrested. Part of me hopes he has as at least he will be safe 😂

OP posts:
Timeforallthecheese · 25/11/2023 06:56

Morning OP. Hope you managed to get some sleep.

Pippa12 · 25/11/2023 06:56

I have OCD too. I know how sick and out of control you’ll feel. Ignore the posters telling you to calm down. It’s a shitty thing to do!

NovemberAutumn · 25/11/2023 06:56

If he has a chest infection he might be more easily affected by alcohol (just low resilience, anti biotics etc) so he might well just be sleeping it off somewhere.

I hope so much he comes home soon. Thanks

Autieangel · 25/11/2023 06:57

I'd assume he's drunk and staying out later. I'd be annoyed about him not taking a key as you now have to wait up.

I wouldn't kick off tho, just next time I'd insist he takes his key.

LakieLady · 25/11/2023 06:57

SparklingSparkle · 25/11/2023 06:22

He might have fallen asleep somewhere x

On the train, possibly!

A friend of mine fell asleep on the train back to Croydon after a work do and woke up in Hastings. The last train back had already left, so he had to find a hotel for the night. (This was approx 1980, so no mobile phones).

Joystir59 · 25/11/2023 06:57

Sorry you've had such an anxious night and looking forward to your update that he's home and all is well. I could have writte your post OP, I even reported an ex partner to the police once because he stayed out all night and it was out of character. I had a lot of therapy to help me deal differently with my overwhelming separation anxiety/abandonment issues, and can cope much more effectively all these years later (I'm 66 now), so I hope things get better for you too. A lightbulb moment for me was recognising that the anxiety was something I was doing to myself and that I could control.

HungryandIknowit · 25/11/2023 06:58

I'd be really unimpressed with no message at all. If he was that drunk he may have lost his phone and / or is asleep at a colleague's house. I'm quite surprised someone would get that drunk at a work party tbh. Not a good look in front of colleagues.

supersop60 · 25/11/2023 06:59

I'm sure he's fine OP. Crashed on a mate's couch probably.
If it were my DP I'd be asking why he didn't leave a message saying where he'd be. Then you'd have peace of mind.

HalloweenIsDone · 25/11/2023 07:00

Don't ring the phone anymore. It'll drain his battery so when he does wake up he won't be able to contact you. He's already got loads of missed calls and probably just as many messages. Leave it now.

Original poster
annabel586 · 25/11/2023 07:01

HungryandIknowit · 25/11/2023 06:58

I'd be really unimpressed with no message at all. If he was that drunk he may have lost his phone and / or is asleep at a colleague's house. I'm quite surprised someone would get that drunk at a work party tbh. Not a good look in front of colleagues.

I agree.

I really hope he has severe hangxiety from this now. I know that's cruel but I have a headache from lack of sleep and worry

OP posts:
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