Partner not come home freaking out and angry

[annabel586]

My partner went for Christmas party with work last night, he was going to drive but called me about 7 saying he was getting a cab home at 10. He tried calling me twice about 9.30 but I was in the shower so missed the calls.

Been calling him back ever since and he's not answering at all- rings through to voicemail. This is VERY unlike him as he always keeps in touch and calls me back etc

I know it's only been a couple of hours but I'm going out of my mind with worry now. I'm so angry but upset as well, I would never do this.

Maybe a tad early, but understandable under the circs - as long as you're not driving anywhere!

I'd want to be sober for The Conversation I'd be having with your DP if I was in your shoes though.

Wow so OP was wrong because she was worried something had happened and everyone had a go at her. She was actually right and now she's having one drink to calm down, and she's ...still wrong? Some of you are unbelievable.

I'm having some lunch now and a coffee. Just needed to chill for a bit lol.

His brother is going to pick him up from the police station later. Then he will probably stay there. I'm done worrying about his whereabouts or how he's getting home when he has shown such little regard for everyone else.

Thank you

This would be a deal breaker fur me. He could have killed some one. Absolutely no excuse.

I can’t believe the focus of this thread has shifted from the drunk driving massive twat to the one-beer-drinking OP. Unreal. 😂

It’s beyond gross.

This is supposed to a a forum of women supporting women. And here we have a woman who has spent the last 12+ hours beside herself with worry over her missing partner and waking up to news of his arrest.

No one here knows OP at all, yet suddenly she needs therapy for a pattern of toxic relationships and is being branded an alcoholic.

Completely unacceptable way to treat someone. Go and relieve your judgemental boredom elsewhere.

Good for you. Hope you get to have a good sleep, too, you must be knackered.

Wow, OP. I’m so sorry. I’m not sure what I would be doing now in your shoes. This is a huge issue. I would probably only be willing to continue if he swore off alcohol and took a variety of classes regarding his behaviour and substance abuse.

Yep.

Don't do this, OP, it is not a good way to deal with the situation.

LUNCH before 1pm? You seem to have an eating disorder, too.

😁

Somewhere in the world it's cocktail hour.

These mumsnet chats seem to attract misogynists of both sexes atm. It’s so disheartening.
@annabel586 You must be so very disappointed and disillusioned right now. I hope you thoroughly enjoyed your beer. Glad he’s his DB’s problem to deal with right now. You’re supposed to be his partner, not his parent. I don’t think I would be capable of being “supportive” in these conditions - especially after worrying all night. He has been stupid, irresponsible and immature. Don’t let him be the victim for even one minute.

Just been to our local Winter Festival where they started MullingWine at 10 am. 😱Are we all alcoholics ?.

Op, sorry you are going through this, and glad you can relax at your mum’s. Hope your weekend gets better. 💐

One beer after a very stressful night and she needs support with her drinking? What are you on?

I know that.
He knew that.
But he made an unwise decision.

You certainly felt something is wrong and you were right.

As for the drink driving, what an absolute scum bag.

Time to reconsider the relationship I think.

I rarely finish a drink, but sometimes when I'm very stressed, the ritual of opening and pouring one is really comforting. OP didn't say she downed it in one gulp FFS.

OP, I'm sorry he behaved like such a twat, but glad that you have support. And pugs!

@VisionsOfSplendour

obviously I posted that before reading the drink driving update. Drink driving is deplorable and he is a prick.

He has been stupid, irresponsible and immature.

I think he's been a bit more than that don't you!

Its a good, if appalling, insight into how some men think „I only hit you because I love you“ springs to mind.

Such a class thing too - can gurantee that if you'd said you were having a bellini instead of a beer you wouldn't have got these replies

Hope you're doing as ok as you can be @annabel586 and have lots of RL support

Fuxake. I put a slug of brandy in my morning coffee today. Does that mean I have a drinking problem, despite the fact that the last time I drank alcohol was three weeks ago?

Lol

Exactly. The finger wagging is tedious.