Partner not come home freaking out and angry

[annabel586]

My partner went for Christmas party with work last night, he was going to drive but called me about 7 saying he was getting a cab home at 10. He tried calling me twice about 9.30 but I was in the shower so missed the calls.

Been calling him back ever since and he's not answering at all- rings through to voicemail. This is VERY unlike him as he always keeps in touch and calls me back etc

I know it's only been a couple of hours but I'm going out of my mind with worry now. I'm so angry but upset as well, I would never do this.

It was 9pm. There are trains.

Yes. Sounds like you both need some support with your drinking.

@redxlondon Why does OP need support with drinking?

Why are you drinking at 11.30 in the morning? It's not a healthy way to deal with stress. I'm glad your partner is safe and well but to crack open a beer the minute you get to your mums is a bit worrying.

There are really no mitigating circumstances for drinking and driving. And even if there were, I'm damn sure being afraid of an argument with your partner wouldn't be one of them.

It is dangerous and it is a crime, so anyone who does it is, at the time of the offence, a dangerous criminal.

That's why you can get a 6-month custodial sentence for it, although that is very rare for a first offence and there would have to be significant aggravating factors.

Bloody hell. I would be absolutely furious!! Has he ever done this before? Is he a heavy drinker in general? He’s lucky he didn’t kill someone.
So that’s him unable to drive for at least 12 months. Hope he doesn’t rely on a vehicle for his job, OP.
What an idiot.

Honestly @annabel586 put the beer down and have a cuppa instead. I totally understand you want to forget/pretend none of this has happened, but alcohol is never a good idea in such situations.

You haven’t explained what is going on at the house. He has no keys. Do you trust him not to break in? Is it his house and so you are leaving him to it?

Sorry to read this update today OP.So much for saying he was getting a Taxi home!

What an idiot,

Drinking at 11.30am isn't a good idea OP.
Do either of you have a drinking problem?

My god, are you all quite well? OP is having a beer, not smoking crack and cavorting with prostitutes and strippers.

@LuckySantangelo35 · Today 10:08

He’s gone for a night out. Got carried away. He’s an adult, it’s his prerogative. It’s really no big deal.

The same happened to the man who was drunk driving when he crashed against my late friend’s young daughter.

He thrashed her car, killed her and left her younger sister without a guardian.

No big deal? Fuck you.

I had a beer yesterday at 11 when visiting a Christmas market. Then I had another and that was it. Why is drinking in the evening acceptable but not in the day? But that’s beside the point, OP you’ve had a massive shock so do what you need to do today to soften the blow.

(and that’s from a daughter of an alcoholic where a parent didn’t need an “excuse” to drink)

OP I’d have cracked out the vodka. Don’t worry about a beer.

Why on here do people think you have suddenly have a problem with drinking if you crack open a beer at 11.30 on a Saturday.

Enjoy your beer and snuggle.

There are a lot of (tea total?) judgy people on here this morning that think having a beer after a stressful night equals you having a drink problem.

Exactly. OP has had a traumatic evening, a massive shock and suddenly she’s being judged for having a beer.

Sometimes we make bad decisions in moments of trauma - whatever it takes to get through.

Op, earlier you mention Worse because my ex would do this constantly and I would lie awake all night all the time and then get a call he's been arrested etc. so it just really freaks me out and he knows this which is why he usually stays in touch

You seem to have a trend here. Partners being arrested, going missing. It might be time to look inwards. What is attracting you to these losers. Get therapy, stay single and have clear boundaries for future relationships.

He tried to drive from London to Kent drunk what the actual fuck... what a complete irresponsible twat. He could have killed someone.

And your answer is at least he's safe. He smashed some poor sods car up, I bet they aren't as understanding.

Then to go off to your mum's and have a beer at 11.30 in the morning!

What have I just read!

lol I knew you were a man before you mentioned it . what a stupid comment . it's not her fault he decided to drink and drive.. typical man blaming the woman for his actions.

Exactly why are we judging OP??

@MeMySonAnd1 she hadn't read the update - she was referring to the original post and not the updates

@MaliciaKeys @Mycatmax @ZekeZeke

Alcohol dependency is judged on volume consumed and a long term psychological relationship with – not having a single beer when your partner has left you in a sleep deprived panic for over 12 hours with the outcome of a pending criminal conviction.

Enjoy your beer, OP. Have a hug with your mum and try to get more sleep when you can.

I don’t think you drinking is going to help OP.
your DH is a massive bellend for this, he could have killed someone!

Mumsnet at its most toxic. 👏

OP . I hope you are now having a good nap ! Ignore all the judgy comments,not your fault that your partner is so stupid and selfish!

The op has done nothing wrong, no need for judgment, she's allowed a beer if she wants one, she isn't driving !!