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Original poster

Partner not come home freaking out and angry

821 replies

annabel586 · 25/11/2023 00:05

My partner went for Christmas party with work last night, he was going to drive but called me about 7 saying he was getting a cab home at 10. He tried calling me twice about 9.30 but I was in the shower so missed the calls.

Been calling him back ever since and he's not answering at all- rings through to voicemail. This is VERY unlike him as he always keeps in touch and calls me back etc

I know it's only been a couple of hours but I'm going out of my mind with worry now. Sad I'm so angry but upset as well, I would never do this.

OP posts:
Loubelle70 · 25/11/2023 09:42

Ffs OP. Sorry. Big words when he gets released.

Nowherenew · 25/11/2023 09:42

annabel586 · 25/11/2023 09:31

He's been arrested for drunk driving.

I'm pleased he's safe but fucking furious.

What an idiot.

I’m glad he’s safe though so you’re not worrying and that he was arrested before hurting anyone.

Hopefully this will be a wake up call and he’ll never drive drunk again.

Next time he needs to leave his car keys and take the house keys instead.

OrlandointheWilderness · 25/11/2023 09:43

Fucking hell, that would be the end for me. He could've killed someone.

Milamight · 25/11/2023 09:43

If he was arrested for drink driving, what time? As he would have been taken to the station for an evidential breath test then released. They dont stay in the cell overnight unless there are other offences. Doesnt really explain why he has been missing all night?

Iwantamarshmallowman · 25/11/2023 09:43

Iwantamarshmallowman · 25/11/2023 09:42

My partner did the same thing to me when we first moved in together. I got myself in a terrible state . I called the local police station custody centre and the hospital, and then i repoted him as a missing. the custody Sargent told me he was probably with a woman. when he did eventually roll in he told me he was alseep on his friends sofa, but looking back he probably was with a woman.I should have seen this for the red flag it was but i didnt at the time.
i hope he's ok, but if and when he comes home safe and well, I would advise you to think about your future with him. This man clearly has no respect for you.

sorry just seen your update .. that thought had crossed my mind. there was another post on here very simular last year

MayThe4th · 25/11/2023 09:43

So I’m guessing that he called at 9:30 to tell you he’d been arrested.

He must have been pretty drunk to have been kept in the cells overnight.

I would already have packed his bags by now but given this information I definitely would. Absolute dealbreaker and I would leave his stuff on the front lawn and go out. He’ll have no option but to fuck off somewhere else because he doesn’t have a key.

Absolute fucking arsehole.

Original poster
annabel586 · 25/11/2023 09:44

I'm going to stay at my mums and I'm taking the keys with me. He can get himself home and deal with the consequences.

OP posts:
KimberleyClark · 25/11/2023 09:44

Oh my god he could have killed someone. Why on earth didn’t his colleagues try to stop him? Put him in a taxi? This would be the end for me.

RampantIvy · 25/11/2023 09:45

Sorry to read your update 💐

Dustybarn · 25/11/2023 09:46

So glad he’s safe and that he didn’t injure anyone. The consequences of what he has done are huge and probably starting to sink in for him. You don’t have to say or do anything - just step back and let him deal with this horrible mess all on his own. And definitely go to the Christmas do tonight - without him. Sounds like he needs to do some thinking about his life.

Original poster
annabel586 · 25/11/2023 09:46

MayThe4th · 25/11/2023 09:43

So I’m guessing that he called at 9:30 to tell you he’d been arrested.

He must have been pretty drunk to have been kept in the cells overnight.

I would already have packed his bags by now but given this information I definitely would. Absolute dealbreaker and I would leave his stuff on the front lawn and go out. He’ll have no option but to fuck off somewhere else because he doesn’t have a key.

Absolute fucking arsehole.

Yep this was it. It happened at 9pm last night. 4 witnesses. Destroyed some other poor persons car.

Livid doesn't begin to cover it. And I've been sat here all night worrying about his safety he could have killed someone else!!!!!

OP posts:
Sparklesocks · 25/11/2023 09:46

MayThe4th · 25/11/2023 08:58

The first time my partner behaved like that would be the last.

TBH it doesn’t make sense that he would have passed out that early, we’re not talking about someone going out drinking and calling in the dead of night, that could easily point to someone else having passed out drunk. But he rang at 9:30, and failed to answer when the OP called back.

TBH I’d be assuming he’d gone home with another woman, because let’s be honest, Christmas parties are well known for workmates ending up sleeping together.

But whatever it was, assuming nothing bad had happened to him I would pack his bags and he could get the fuck out.

This isn’t helpful to OP who is already so worried, and thereS nothing to suggest this is the case.

Lilibert456 · 25/11/2023 09:46

annabel586 · 25/11/2023 09:44

I'm going to stay at my mums and I'm taking the keys with me. He can get himself home and deal with the consequences.

Good for you. Glad you are a strong woman with a sense of worth.

willWillSmithsmith · 25/11/2023 09:46

MrsW2015 · 25/11/2023 09:12

I’m sorry but anyone who is happy not to know where their drunk partner is for 24 hours without worrying has got a problem with their relationship and it’s not a realistic thing to expect the op to be able to do.

For me the only reason why you wouldn’t worry is because it’s happened too many times before and/or you know your partner’s a douche. My ex did this early on in our (otherwise very good) relationship and if I’d known then what I know now I would have dumped him that night. Without me realising it he told me who he really was that night.

RJnomore1 · 25/11/2023 09:47

oh bloody hell love. I was reading last night and checked in this morning expecting to see he had rolled in about 3 (and possibly thrown up or something going by previous threads I’d read).

I totally get the anxiety. But you’ve got a new issue now. This would for me absolutely end the relationship, I couldn’t live with someone who did that. Did you go to your mums?

rainbowunicorn · 25/11/2023 09:47

MrsCocoaJones1 · 25/11/2023 09:38

Did they not know this when you phoned 101 and filed a missing persons report? Or does it not work like that? I don’t know how the police systems work

They can't just give out information like that to a random person phoning up. It would be a breach of the arrested person's rights.

Isometimeswonder · 25/11/2023 09:47

What a shock for you. I'm sorry he has put you through that stress. I have no idea what I'd do, drink driving is so selfish.

SaltyGod · 25/11/2023 09:48

I’m so sorry OP.

Going to your mum’s is a good idea. Let her look after you whilst you consider your next steps

RJnomore1 · 25/11/2023 09:48

Sorry, I cross posted with you. Good for you.

Lindjam · 25/11/2023 09:48

@annabel586 does this Prince among men live with you? Do you own/rent together?

Prepare for the drip feed too. He may have had a crash, you only know what he’s told you so far. Does he have form for drunk driving?

I would not continue in a relationship with someone this selfish, entitled and stupid.

halfthesun · 25/11/2023 09:48

Oh no! As I said my ex was DUI . Still didn't learn his lesson - in fact drunk even more as I had to do all the driving. Let me know if you need any advice Daffodil

VisionsOfSplendour · 25/11/2023 09:49

Rosiiee · 25/11/2023 09:17

@MrsW2015 but it hasn’t been 24 hours…..

And it doesn't have to be, don't perpetrate that mytb that might lead to someone coming to harm

cakeorwine · 25/11/2023 09:50

If he's been arrested, shouldn't he have had / don't the police contact someone who might need to know - to prevent this kind of worry.

Especially as he was expected home. The OP has been out of her mind with worry.

I don't know what happens if someone is arrested - and the need to contact someone who is expecting them, just to let them know that they won't be able to make it.

Doggymummar · 25/11/2023 09:50

Wow, so sorry, will he lose his job? Construction needs driving usually what an arse.

mommatoone · 25/11/2023 09:50

Milamight · 25/11/2023 09:43

If he was arrested for drink driving, what time? As he would have been taken to the station for an evidential breath test then released. They dont stay in the cell overnight unless there are other offences. Doesnt really explain why he has been missing all night?

Depends what time he was arrested . Plus - if he was absolutely hammered they would wait til he had sobered up before releasing him.

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