Partner not come home freaking out and angry

[annabel586]

My partner went for Christmas party with work last night, he was going to drive but called me about 7 saying he was getting a cab home at 10. He tried calling me twice about 9.30 but I was in the shower so missed the calls.

Been calling him back ever since and he's not answering at all- rings through to voicemail. This is VERY unlike him as he always keeps in touch and calls me back etc

I know it's only been a couple of hours but I'm going out of my mind with worry now. I'm so angry but upset as well, I would never do this.

I’d be so worried in this situation too op, it would be completely out of character. I hope he turns up soon. If he’s passed out drunk at a friends I wouldn’t be impressed - it’s really shitty behaviour.

He tried to ring her twice (presumably to say he wasn't coming home).
She didn't answer.
He got blathered at the Xmas do and fell asleep.
He'll be home soon.

I can't get over him not taking his keys. Who does that? Especially when they're going out drinking? What a bloody stupid thing to do.

I don't care if DP comes home late, drunk or stays out all night (we have both done all those things) but like hell would I stay up waiting for him to roll in. That's a completely unreasonable thing to expect your partner to do.

I also wouldn't be anxious if DP was out later than expected - things happen, I'm sure he can handle himself even when drunk - but I probably wouldn't know as I'd have happily taken myself off to bed.

However in this case it seems like the OP wasn't wrong to worry and I hope her partner's safe. I don't think being out a few hours later than you'd planned warrants a text back home, but staying out all night/crashing somewhere else absolutely does. And unless it's something serious like an accident, there's always a way to do it.

I still can't get over the keys thing though. If you've forgotten your keys then you don't get to cut loose. If you're reliant on someone else being awake to let you in then you come home early. I cannot comprehend going out drinking without my keys!

Yep, just like the ones that would never have an affair…

Hope he appears soon OP, most probably with his tail between his legs and a stinking hangover

I hope you hear from him soon

He's been arrested for drunk driving.

I'm pleased he's safe but fucking furious.

oh god OP I'm so sorry, what an idiot.

I’d be packing his bags, honestly.

Good grief. What a stupid thing to do. No wonder you’re furious.

It’s completely normal for you to be worried in these circumstances, op. I would be too. Try to stay calm though and remember that the most likely explanation by a mile is that he got absolutely hammered and is sleeping it off on someone’s floor. He’ll turn up looking like shit and hopefully feel so crap that he won’t do it again for a looooong time!

Hi OP, I’m one who thought you were being controlling and dramatic when your DP hadn’t picked up his phone for a couple of hours at the work Christmas do.
Although him not having keys made your concern more understandable , I didn’t really understand why you couldn’t just leave the door unlocked , or leave them outside somewhere for him to pick up.
However, him being out all night and still no word since 9.30pm is a completely different matter and would have me so upset and worried too.
As others have said , I’m sure that he just got drunk and is now sleeping it off somewhere on a colleagues couch. I’m guessing after trying to call you a couple of times at 9.30pm , he went into avoidant mode, and worried you would be cross he was out later than expected, he decided just to ignore the issue and deal with the consequences later. Absolutely dickish behaviour but you said it’s out of character and hopefully a one off.
really hoping he wakes up and has the decency/ sense to call you soon x

Fucking hell what an idiot. Let him feel all your fury.

OP, I've been checking your thread and I'm so glad you know he is safe. You can get on with your day, and leave him to sort out his own mess. He should have asked the police to contact you.

Oh no, I'd be absolutely furious too. Glad you know he's safe but what an idiot.

So he should have left her a voicemail when she didn’t answer.
Or text her.

That’s basic common sense and bloody obvious!

Never mind it’s just the basic level of courtesy you should show to the person you know will be sitting at home and worrying about you.

It’s completely selfish of him to not even send a text after trying to call her.

Christmas do in Nov??

Oh OP, I'm so sorry. That is unforgiveable. Have you spoken to him?

Jesus OP I’m sorry. How did you find out? You must be livid.

Oh thank God he’s safe!!!

But what an idiot!!!!!

Absolutely unforgivable. He was already drunk and slurring at 7.

As someone who has lost a loved one to a drunk driver, I have no sympathy.

He is despicable.

Oh wow, well thats a whole new level of fucking furious. Easy for me to say OP but I wouldnt be easily forgiving of him drink driving. In your shoes you now need to spend the day with your mum, or shopping or anywhere. I would be leaving him to deal with his own shit x

Fuck me. He’d be coming home to his shit outside the door.

People all have different relationships with their siblings. My brother has called me in the past for help when he has been in a pickle. I can understand why she would call him and ask.
Also, the OP is clearly worried and I would he too, so do you have to he so harsh in your comment? It isn't even a helpful comment.

Because that is the issue here? 🤷‍♀️