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Original poster

Partner not come home freaking out and angry

821 replies

annabel586 · 25/11/2023 00:05

My partner went for Christmas party with work last night, he was going to drive but called me about 7 saying he was getting a cab home at 10. He tried calling me twice about 9.30 but I was in the shower so missed the calls.

Been calling him back ever since and he's not answering at all- rings through to voicemail. This is VERY unlike him as he always keeps in touch and calls me back etc

I know it's only been a couple of hours but I'm going out of my mind with worry now. Sad I'm so angry but upset as well, I would never do this.

OP posts:
Sauvblanctime · 25/11/2023 09:05

annabel586 · 25/11/2023 09:04

I just spoke with his brother and he hasn't heard from him either.

Have you called the hospitals? X

PenguinLove1 · 25/11/2023 09:05

Do you know where he was going last night, could you contact the venue? I would be worried too, but i assume he is very drunk and was unable to get himself home, or lost his money and couldnt pay to get home maybe?

If this is just a once off and you worry this will make you panic every time he goes out in future, could you ask him to share his phone location with you on nights out? Then you could see where he was.

Rosiiee · 25/11/2023 09:06

I mean, rationally, why would his brother have heard from him? I don’t text my siblings when I’m at a work event? I’d reach out to people who were actually there at the party.

Applesaarenttheonlyfruit · 25/11/2023 09:06

annabel586 · 25/11/2023 09:04

I just spoke with his brother and he hasn't heard from him either.

Stop OP, you’re making it worse. If something bad had happened the police would be on your doorstep. Why would a pissed bloke phone anyone? He’ll be home, hungover soon.

DottyMacaroon · 25/11/2023 09:07

Bless you OP I’ve been there, it’s horrible. I hope he’s in contact very soon.

Happyhippos21 · 25/11/2023 09:07

Id be going spare. Hope you are okay op and he turns up soon

MrsW2015 · 25/11/2023 09:07

Is he friends with any work colleagues on social media? You could message them asking if they know where he ended up passing out? Keep it light tho so you aren’t embarrassed later.

SheIsStuck23 · 25/11/2023 09:08

Applesaarenttheonlyfruit · 25/11/2023 09:06

Stop OP, you’re making it worse. If something bad had happened the police would be on your doorstep. Why would a pissed bloke phone anyone? He’ll be home, hungover soon.

Show quote history

Why the assumption that the hospital staff will know who he is? Never mind know where he lives?!

Nicole1111 · 25/11/2023 09:09

I’m sure he decided to stay out but was an asshole and didn’t make any attempts to contact you after the one call, partied too hard and is now asleep in some dark smelly man cave after passing out on a mate’s sofa in the early hours. He’ll hopefully wake up hideously hungover, feeling sick as a dog and the shame will almost kill him when you make him ring the police and his brother to explain he’s not missing. Hopefully that happens sooner rather than later then you can set about having a lovely day away from him.

Meggie2008 · 25/11/2023 09:09

My ex used to too this all the time, I panicked the first few times then decided it wasn't a me problem if he wanted to go on like that. He always showed up eventually the next day, usually around lunch time.
I'd like to say the relationship was short lived, but we were together for 10 years before I decided I was better than his crap.

Rosiiee · 25/11/2023 09:09

Woa why are people jumping to hospital conclusions? People go over the top at Xmas parties every year, there’s always tons of threads about it. I’d wait at least 24 hours before calling hospitals! He’s probably just passed out at a mates with a dead phone.

hopeishere · 25/11/2023 09:09

Hopefully he's crashed at a colleague's house and will turn up soon.

SgtJuneAckland · 25/11/2023 09:10

If he was drunk at 7pm , he was hammered by ten, there's no way he's up bright and breezy at 9am. I appreciate your past experiences but at best he's been moderately inconsiderate to not let you know he's staying out. Probably thinking I forgot my key don't want OP to have to get up and let me in at 2am etc, but had tried to call and then either lost his phone or just not bothered to text (the inconsiderate bit).
He'll call before lunchtime, with a hangover like death. I don't see why he won't be able to go to a Christmas thing this evening.
I'm very surprised police took a missing persons report when he'd only been out of contact for a few hours and you knew he was on a work do.

m00rfarm · 25/11/2023 09:11

I’m with you. I’d be furious unless there is an exceptional reason.

2chocolateoranges · 25/11/2023 09:11

If I hadn’t heard from my dh since last night and it was now 9am then I’d be worried too. Hope he’s in contact soon x

Iamblocked2 · 25/11/2023 09:11

Why the assumption that the hospital staff will know who he is? Never mind know where he lives?!

Police/hospital will try to identify the person. DH once had an accident and was unconscious. My contact was an ICE contact in his phone and that was the first bit they checked and I got a call whilst he was taken into an ambulance asking me a lot of medical questions which would have an affect of the treatment provided.

Lovelyjubbbly · 25/11/2023 09:11

My partner does this a lot most times end up in his dads absolutely can’t walk with been drunk very unselfish

wildwestpioneer · 25/11/2023 09:11

Easy for me to say, but I'm sure he's probably asleep on a mates sofa and will wake in a few hours with the mother of all hangovers! He'll feel like an absolute shit and be very sorry no doubt.

When he gets home and sobers up, start giving him adverts of expensive Christmas presents - strike whilst the iron is hot!

But seriously, keep an eye on social media and if he's not surfaced by lunchtime I'd start to think about reporting him missing and then maybe start to worry

TeamSleep · 25/11/2023 09:12

OP you must be so so worried! I’m sure someone suggested this but can you contact someone he works with?

AnImaginaryCat · 25/11/2023 09:12

Think you need to wait till 11 before ringing hospitals.

The most likely scenario is he got very drunk and went to a work mates house and is now sleeping it off.

How you react towards him will depend on his attitude (when sober and not hungover). Problem with drinking is that the decision to continue drinking when you didn't plan to is usually made under the influence so less sensible than when sober. As with things like not leaving a voice message- common sense goes our the window.

MrsW2015 · 25/11/2023 09:12

I’m sorry but anyone who is happy not to know where their drunk partner is for 24 hours without worrying has got a problem with their relationship and it’s not a realistic thing to expect the op to be able to do.

jeaux90 · 25/11/2023 09:13

Well it's a one off, inconsiderate yes, but he doesn't have form.

Try not to project past experience OP he's clearly not like your ex. He'll turn up like others have said with a massive hangover and many apologies for being a dick.

Whattheforkisgoingon · 25/11/2023 09:14

This happened at an Xmas works do at a place I used to work at…to a woman in her 60s.

She ended up absolutely blind drunk to the point she could hardly speak so a colleague had to put her in a taxi and take her to her house as no one knew her address.

She got home the next morning and her husband wasn’t impressed.

She was mortified on work come the Monday.

hopefully he is home soon OP.

Pippylongstock · 25/11/2023 09:14

I’m so sorry for you have had such an awful night. I would be losing my mind at this point. Do you have any sense of where he went out? Can you phone around the hospitals in that area?

sweetpickle23 · 25/11/2023 09:14

People on here acting like this is no big deal need to get higher standards for being in a relationship.

letting a partner know you’re not coming home isn’t OTT is basic consideration