Partner not come home freaking out and angry

[annabel586]

My partner went for Christmas party with work last night, he was going to drive but called me about 7 saying he was getting a cab home at 10. He tried calling me twice about 9.30 but I was in the shower so missed the calls.

Been calling him back ever since and he's not answering at all- rings through to voicemail. This is VERY unlike him as he always keeps in touch and calls me back etc

I know it's only been a couple of hours but I'm going out of my mind with worry now. I'm so angry but upset as well, I would never do this.

How long have you been together out of interest?

i Hope he has a really good excuse for this because I would be the same as you, panicking. Maybe he lost his phone but still he should have come home by now and explained himself.

Can you google the company, find the name of the director & look on LinkedIn / Facebook to see if there’s a mobile number for them?

Agree with this, "drunk sleep" tends to last well into the morning. Definitely head to tour mums for some distraction. If he's not turned up by late lunchtime, I'd feel very tempted to call the police again.

Thinking of you O.P. xx really hope he is still asleep somewhere

If you haven't already, I'd text or leave a message on his phone saying you're really worried as you haven't heard and ask him to phone you immediately. Hopefully he'll realise how worried you've been.

Is he someone who tends to get up roughly the same time each day regardless of work or a very heavy night? If so, what time would you normally expect that to be?

Oh what a shit, hope he rolls in soon OP ❤️

I’m sure he has crashed somewhere so try not to worry.

Are his house keys separate to his car keys? I am wondering if he accidentally on purpose left his house keys behind?

Very annoying and very selfish of him when he must be aware of your general anxiety levels.

I’d be really anxious too op. It’s just not on to stay out all night having said he’d only be out a few hours. Hope he rolls in soon with the hangover from hell, he bloody deserves it.

The first time my partner behaved like that would be the last.

TBH it doesn’t make sense that he would have passed out that early, we’re not talking about someone going out drinking and calling in the dead of night, that could easily point to someone else having passed out drunk. But he rang at 9:30, and failed to answer when the OP called back.

TBH I’d be assuming he’d gone home with another woman, because let’s be honest, Christmas parties are well known for workmates ending up sleeping together.

But whatever it was, assuming nothing bad had happened to him I would pack his bags and he could get the fuck out.

I am sure he got drunk and thought it would be a great idea to carry on drinking at a mates house and crash there.

He probably lost his phone or got carried away and lost track of time and then was too cowardly to call you.

I bet he’s fast asleep at a mates.

I completely understand why you’d be so worried though, especially if this is out of character.

There is no point in keep ringing or texting his phone.

Do you have any of his colleagues numbers?
Could you send them a text and just say he said he was coming back but you’ve not heard from him since 9:30pm last night and you’re a bit worried about him.

He’s pissed and sleeping it off. If you’ve not heard by 1pm, then it’s an issue.

He will have come over all lash up
lad and stopped thinking. It’s not nice as we know there can be things that go wrong, but it’s very unusual.

He'll be passed out at a mates house, wake around 9.30, go for a breakfast, drive home once he feels sober enough.

Get in and tell you he stayed out so you could go to bed and act surprised you didn't realise that.

Why didn't he answer the phone? Oh it was noisy in the club he wouldn't have been able to hear.

Back to bed until maybe 3pm.

Oh wow I would also be worried OP, hopefully hes still sleeping it off at a friends house. I really hope he messages you soon x

he was probably drunk and is sleeping it off.

How long have you been together and how serious is the relationship?

Trust me, I know.

And I actually read your post wrong. So my apologies. I thought you said,'My DH used to go AWOL all of the time, I DONT understand why you're worried,' which obviously spurred my response.

It's still not acceptable behaviour, regardless.

TBH I’d be assuming he’d gone home with another woman, because let’s be honest, Christmas parties are well known for workmates ending up sleeping together.

@MayThe4th

I’ve been to loads of Christmas parties and never had sex with my colleagues, neither has anyone I know.

Sounds like it’s just a you thing.

.

This happened to my DH once OP. Turns out he went back to a mates place and they carried on drinking and he just passed out. But he was home at 7am the next day and the mate was very apologetic saying that he had pushed DH to drink more- I mean not an excuse but that’s what happened. Such a shit thing to do and not something I would ever dream of doing without giving my partner a heads up. Hope he turns up for you soon.

Do you know anyone who was at the party that you could msg? Are your messages on WhatsApp still delivering or is his phone dead?

I feel your anxiety, I had a ‘D’H who did this regularly.
I’m sure he’s stayed in a hotel or crashed out on a colleague’s sofa but I really hope he has the hangover from hell and learns a lesson,

I was drunk at a company Xmas party years ago. someone packed me into a taxi, I puked in front of my house and then went to bed and didn't crawl out of it until lunch the next day. If you are seriously drunk, it does happen. It doesn't excuse his behaviour but if something serious would have happened, you'd know by now. No news is good news. go and enjoy the day and deal with the fallout later on.

🙄 that was helpful.
Feeling anxious for you OP I know what it's like and think hysterical would pretty much describe that feeling. So many things going through your head, not being able to function properly. Absolute twat I hope he turns up soon so you can give him hell.

I’d be having a big fit when he returns, and I’m sure he will. Probably passed out on someone’s sofa.

I just spoke with his brother and he hasn't heard from him either.

Sorry you're going thru this OP.

It's been a long night for you and I'm shocked that he's not home. I guess he must have got pretty wasted and lost his phone and crashed at a friend's.

Either that or something worse. This happened to me once and the person in question had been arrested and held in cells until the following morning. As you can imagine, I was going out of my mind but also when they came home they had a huge cut on their head that had been stapled by the hospital and looked horrific. They'd been coming home, late and drunk, and got mugged, fought back a bit and ended up arrested.

Do you have a landline? Will he be able to call you even if he's lost his phone?