Partner not come home freaking out and angry

[annabel586]

My partner went for Christmas party with work last night, he was going to drive but called me about 7 saying he was getting a cab home at 10. He tried calling me twice about 9.30 but I was in the shower so missed the calls.

Been calling him back ever since and he's not answering at all- rings through to voicemail. This is VERY unlike him as he always keeps in touch and calls me back etc

I know it's only been a couple of hours but I'm going out of my mind with worry now. I'm so angry but upset as well, I would never do this.

I would be furious.

I think the chances of anything bad having happened to him are minimal. He's likely got plastered and crashed at someone's house, but there is NO excuse at all for not letting you know.

He's a selfish wanker.

Glad they made you feel a bit better - what a start to the weekend! X

I would go out for the day and not leave a key.

If this is just a case of him deciding to be an ignorant selfish prick, then unimpressed would be an understatement.

I'd be fuming.

It's not just a 'night out'. It's disgusting behaviour as a grown ass man to not even contemplate answering the phone or sending a message. Him calling twice is absolutely no excuse. I don't care what anyone says. It is NOT respectful. You've sat up all night, bloody worrying. I don't understand how women are justifying this.

I feel for you, OP.

Take mums to the Christmas Market and have a good night. Or at the least, try xx

Im hoping he appears soon. Not good to keep you worrying all night.

God I would be furious. Luckily my Do would never, ever be so inconsiderate as to do this. Hope he turns up okay OP.

I wouldn’t leave a key under the mat. It’s too much of a security risk and if a burglar gets hold of them then your insurance policy is invalidated.

How terrifying for you OP. I'm sorry you are going through this when you are pregnant.

I remember the first time my ex did this (he did it LOADS, I was a fool to stay with him as long as I did!). I sat up all night and eventually started ringing round hospitals. Turned out he was taking cocaine with his mates and fooling around with other women because he was a prick.

I have no doubt your chap is passed out at a mate's somewhere and will turn up soon feeling awful and, hopefully, very guilty.

Have courage OP, I'm sure all will be well.

Hope you manage to get some rest at your Mums OP. I would be tempted to s
ignore all calls and texts from him when they finally start coming. I’m a bit petty like that though!

Hope it gets sorted, OP, what a night for you.

My ex husband used to go awol all the time so I do get why you are worried.

If this is out of character for him then I would try really hard not to make it a thing further down the line. Chalk it up to a lapse in judgement and next time he goes out make plans to do the same so you are distracted.

The level of panic is borderline hysteria and whilst some posters comments have been blunt they are also right, that level of panic is not normally @annabel586 and you shouldn't judge or punish based on someone else's behaviour in the past. And I say that as a person who escaped an abusive marriage, so I do understand how hard it is.

Ring your girl friends. Go for breakfast, go for a walk somewhere and don't let it ruin your weekend.

He probably got blind drunk passed out in a room and hasn't got the calls - he will wake soon and contact you. He did at least try to contact you, or perhaps could have been one of his colleagues trying to make the call for him to keep you updated.

Hope he’s ok and just at a colleagues house, I’d be fuming if I’d not had a message as well, I have awful anxiety and I would have been up all night too

Sorry you are going through this op. You are going to be knackered today too.

Maybe check your “other” or “requested” messages on any social media, if he has lost his phone and doesn’t know your number he may have got a friend to try message you on social media.
I doubt it but worth a look!

Sorry to see your updates that he's still not back OP, and sorry for some of the bloody awful comments you've had here.

I would be just the same as you, because my Husband and I respect each other and communicate, neither of us would ever dream of just not letting the other know that they were going to be later than planned / not coming home at all. If we called and no answer then we'd message, or not stay out and come home as planned. It would be so wildly out of character as to be very worrying.

Hope to see a more positive update soon x

I think it’s different if someone goes out and doesn’t say what time they will be back against someone who says they will be back at a certain time and is then not contactable.

I think it’s natural to worry in that situation.

Very disrespectful, he could have left a voicemail or even a text. His argument will be "well you didn't answer the phone".
Hope you get some rest today.

Just because you put up with that level of disrespect doesn't mean OP has to. Going AWOL is not a basis for an open and honest relationship. Massive red flag for me.

Lapse in judgement?? Or just down right fucking shit behaviour. The latter is more favourable.

have you tried to contact someone from his work? It's 8:30 and I would be really, really angry now if still no contact.

This thread (and the many like it over time) really hammer home the difference between men and women when it comes to behaviour and safety.

I've been in your shoes, OP, and it's awful. The extreme likelihood is your DH has got very drunk, is with a friend, and will be home this morning.

Men's safety, in the 'married, secure relationship' segment) is rarely an issue.

I know of no women in this category who would ever get this drunk and not come home deliberately.

I would be incredibly stressed and worried too OP if my DH did this . Hopefully he will be in touch soon.

Is his the sort of workplace where phones would be answered at the weekend? Might be worth a call there if so? I doubt they'd tell you who he was out with/give contact details but they may be able to make contact themselves with some of them and pass on your number?

i understand where you’re coming from. I’d be so worried too. I hope he’s on his way home soon. Try and keep busy, distract yourself.

Aren't you just a fucking delight. Abused women do not just put up with it for the hell of it you know.