To think this comment from a friend was cruel?

[Kelly099]

I was walking through town with a friend looking for a bite to eat. We walked past a charity that provide hot meals and drinks for the homeless/vulnerable, and there was a large crowd of people waiting to receive their meal.
My friend joked 'This is where we're eating tonight.'
I was quite disgusted, and told her 'You're very lucky to not be in that position.' she didn't say anything and changed the subject.
I'm sure it was just a case of speaking without thinking, but I was quite disappointed tbh.

Yes, I'd have seen it that way, too.

Maybe you could put your outrage to good use and volunteer at the place.
Otherwise you're just virtue signalling and need to get over it.

Really troubled by the number of YABUs.

Not funny at all in current climate.

I've had charity meals, a long time ago. It's not really that serious- it's a hot meal like any other, just considerably cheaper! If the joking had been about someone going hungry that would be awful. Otherwise it's ok to joke, I probably would.

This thread does remind me of a time I was having a MH crisis... I sat down in the town centre. A chap came up to me, and told me about the local soup kitchen thing. He assumed I was homeless. He told me the place was "Michelin Star" and did a chef's kiss. He had a sense of humour. You need to have one in dark times.

Exactly! Anyone who's been through something knows the trick is humor. It's a survival skill and makes life much more pleasant and livable. I'd rather be poor and laughing than rich and serious.

So you say OP that this was a place the homeless eat and there was a queue outside.

Well I think your reaction was was spot on.
I can’t imagine anyone stood on a cold day in November waiting for a charity to feed them would find your ‘friends’ comment funny.
In the middle of a cost of living crisis with more and more finding themselves with no where to sleep and left on the streets there’s nothing funny about having to spend winter outside and queuing for food.
Your friend obviously doesn’t know what that must be like, and clearly doesn’t care either.

Agree @Lifeomars Thats Disgusting

Whether in good taste or not it was a joke. I wouldn’t of given it a second thought and certainly wouldn’t of thought enough about it to have posted on here about it

Did she not mean it in a way like
‘If we dont decide soon, we can eat there ‘
In a joke way not mocking

or a ‘If things continue to be so expensive, were be there soon, again a half joke’?

It seems harmless to me

If she is that much of a friend why dont you talk to her about it ????

100%. OP clearly wanted lots of pats on the back and validation that she is a much better person than her friend.

One thing I'll always warn my children is beware of people who seem to really enjoy "calling people out" on their words.

I mean it wasn't a joke that would have me roaring with laughter but it really wasn't offensive.

If you feel the need to encourage mumsnetters to slag off your friend then it wasn’t much as a friendship to start with.

It’s called a joke.

Oh lighten up!

Are you doing anything to help ease homelessness in your area, beyond chucking a tin in the food bank now and again, or are you mostly just using your energy getting distressed and offended at jokes on the behalf of homeless people?

YABU

Nobody here said the joke was a side splitter, but op (and you, too) need to stop being melodramatic

You would like you prefer to dish out scoldings than just get on with your friend.

Christ! Honestly OP you sound a bit unhinged here...hoist up those judgey pants and climb down off your high horse!

Glad I don't have friends like you!

It’s harmless but I also would have found it a bit tasteless. I think ‘ha!’ and move on would be a sufficient reaction!

Come on. We need humour in our lives

It's a crass comment to make for presumably intelligent person.

A better comment would be 'god, I'm so grateful we are able to pay for a restaurant, I'm going to appreciate it even more now'.

I have a dark sense of humour 🤷‍♀️

This is how I would read it too, particularly if the person who said it was my friend who I know to be otherwise decent. No harm meant.

I think if I was homeless waiting for some food and heard "God, I'm so grateful we are able to afford a restaurant", I would be far more offended than by the original comment! Your comment is patronising and sounds more like "Oh thank goodness we are better than/not the same as these people!" Whereas the OP's friend's comment was a joke about joining the queue and joining in with the people in it.