To think this comment from a friend was cruel?

[Kelly099]

I was walking through town with a friend looking for a bite to eat. We walked past a charity that provide hot meals and drinks for the homeless/vulnerable, and there was a large crowd of people waiting to receive their meal.
My friend joked 'This is where we're eating tonight.'
I was quite disgusted, and told her 'You're very lucky to not be in that position.' she didn't say anything and changed the subject.
I'm sure it was just a case of speaking without thinking, but I was quite disappointed tbh.

🤣 goodness me! You sound like a joy! Ashamed?🤣

Are you always this quick to assume offense on behalf of other people?

If you were that bothered and felt that awful about those people you’d be volunteering, or helping out in some other practical way, not showing off how virtuous you are by making outrage threads on middle-class Mumsnet. It’s patronizing in the extreme and it impresses nobody.

A very stupid ‘joke.’ Hopefully your DF realised very quickly afterwards.

But I do think your reaction is very OTT.

Most of us at some point in our lives have tripped up like your DF, and that is how we learn (hopefully!).

Exactly.

Virtue signaling at it's finest.

Your making a mountain out of a molehill

It must be hard to be a friend to someone who takes such literal offence.

It wasn’t funny no, but neither did she say anything particularly nasty about homeless people. Your reaction was a bit OTT imo, I wouldn’t want to be around someone so easily offended. But we’re all different.

im not a sheep 🤣🤣🤣

Get off your high horse. No-one likes a virtue signaller.

If I had said that and got scolded by my friend I wouldn’t be keen on going out with them again. She didn’t say anything disgusting or cruel, just a clumsy joke. I wouldn’t have given it a second thought never mind telling her off then coming on here to recount it.

I'm generally a sensitive type but I'd have laughed that off.
I think she was referring to the fact that it was time you made a decision and the queue was big so the food must be good.

Also , 2.4 children is that old tv show named after the average number of children people had in the 90s which I think that comment is a reference to.

You are too sensitive.
It was humour. She was making light of the fact that we are all feeling the pinch in this ecomomic climate. Perhaps she is doing it tougher than you.

Or she could have been commenting lightly on how good the service was to the needy - a compliment to the service.

🤣🤣🤣 Coming soon to Amazon Prime...

She was mocking herself in that if things get any worse that could be her destination. It was a joke and it was in no way at the expense of those who use the facility.

You sound like hard work. At best it was a joke that you didn't find funny, completely missed the point of and decided to take offence at.

If I was the friend on the receiving end of your response, I'd think again about wanting to stay in touch with you. You need to lighten up...

OP, I'm like you and please ignore the comments saying that you're hard work or has no sense of humour. This is not a "joke that hasn't landed" or that you're being "over sensitive". I would never ever joke about something like that. People don't tolerate racist jokes, why would they tolerate jokes at the expense of people who literally don't have a roof over their heads and food to eat? There's dark humour and there's punching down.

As a rule I dislike 'punching down' jokes but this seems like a swing and a miss, possibly to do with the queue length, rather than sneering. I don't really see the cruelty in it unless audible to those queuing for the free food. Do you do anything to help the homeless OP such as volunteering? If not then I'm not sure you can be so virtuous at such a mildly insensitive joke.

Well said @BetsyBobbins
especially given todays issues with homelessness and the cost of living.
Laughing at peoples expence is very sad……what has become of people.

No, don’t ignore them. They’re in the majority.
Which means most people think you’re being ott. And ‘most’ people in society are decent, therefore you can assume you’ve been given good advice here. You were ott. Keep your fingers crossed your friend still wants to go out with you after your telling off.

@Thekirit This kind of thing has always left me very uncomfortable, I just can't understand why people think this is something to joke about.

As someone who was knee deep in debt and receiving monthly food parcels only 4 years ago I can't find this funny. At all.

Absolutely.
What a shame empathy is in the minority these days.
Lets hope its only on this thread. I’d hate to think society as a whole were like this. ….I’m sure they are not.
A life of poverty and hunger is nothing to laugh about.

I think your reaction was spot on OP.
Well done.
Who makes jokes about people who are down on their luck.

Imagine this sort of comment made to people queuing at a food bank.
Volunteers would be outing this sort of entitled remark.

it was a silly throw away remark, hardly as if she was in Suellla Braverman mode and blaming them for their "life style choices"

@Thekirit exactly. And before anyone asks I do volunteer at one of my local food banks. Having turned a corner I wanted to give it back. Others aren't so lucky, sadly.

That's horrifying